OO4:SECRETS

He snapped his eyes open as soon as her song ended. He gently turned to look at her only to see her so close to him eyes locked on his and her breath brushing on his skin. ‘Hey,’ she called to him as her soft voice made its way not only to his ears but down his palpitating heart. ‘I can keep a secret,’ she smiled to him as Seunghyun turned away from her biting his lips. He stared at the ground feeling the painful heavy feeling crawled back to his chest. Dara let out a weak smile before moving away from him and standing up. Seunghyun looked up to her as their hands were still intertwined.

Seunghyun stood up and faced her. They were standing inch away from each other. Dara kept her eyes on him as he was trying to calm himself from all strong emotion surging in his every vein. He hated how emotional he was that very moment and how emotional she was turning him. He hated how vulnerable he felt, like if he moved he will definitely fall to pieces. And he hated how warm her hand was and how it perfectly fits his.

It makes him wish for things that he would never have. It makes him think things that could happen if the impossibility won’t get in the damn way. 

 He refused to think it’s messing him hard. He walked his way to her as he gently pressed his forehead to her shoulder not minding if he has to bend because she was small. He just wanted to feel her, to feel that she was with him. He closed his eyes as he let calmness consumed him as they stood there with him leaning pressing his forehead on her shoulder as the noise from the school, the whistling of the wind the chirping of the birds all blend in the wind together with her breathing creating their own symphony. He could feel her breathing; the steady up and down of her shoulder though she stood there in great confusion, stiffened by his action and like him drown in the warm silence.

‘Please,’ he breathed out in a voice of both begging and desperately helpless. ‘Just eat with me or stay for a while,’ he added. ‘I…’ he trailed off as he swallowed the lump on his throat cursing the tears that were threatening to swell in his eyes. He wanted to ask why of all days he had to be like this in this very day. No. He wanted to know why he was being like this regardless of anything.

He was locking his self on his own realm of thoughts without noticing that he had been silent for long until he felt her tiny arms wrapped on his body pulling him for a hug. He snapped his eyes open in shock as he can feel her struggle in doing so. She inhaled deeply as he stood there frozen her arms around him. It felt so warm, so wrong and every little thing right. Maybe he indeed had already gone insane.

‘Fine,’ Dara chuckled. ‘I’ll eat lunch with you,’ she added as he pulled away from her eager to look at her face and wanting to be welcome by her smile and sincerity. He looked at her face it was much better than how he thought of it. It made his heart flutter and his stomach filled with not just millions of butterflies, that definitely an understatement. Of that he was damn sure.

‘But you have to promise me one thing,’ she said as he felt her gave him a small squeeze in his hand. Dara stared at him waiting for his answer as he remained standing there, stiffened even. He looked away from her. ‘I don’t do promises,’ he hissed in great anger directed to no one but himself. He stopped doing promises from the day that he wasn’t able to fulfill his promise to Dongwook. He quickly brushed the thought away fighting the depression threatening to corrupt his whole system.

Dara smiled nodding, understanding him. ‘Okay then… I just wanted you to know that you are not alone,’ she smiled as he turned to look at her once more. ‘That you can run to me any time, you can cry hard as you want and complain the whole night,’ she smiled brightly to him. ‘I’ll be there by your side,’ she added. It was too good to hear, too good to be true that he almost believed her. Is it okay if he believed her? Is trusting a stranger okay? But then she was not a stranger, she was Dara.

Dara who was unbelievably beautiful and innocent. Dara who can sing and play guitar and put shame to all those idols on TV. Dara who gives joy to the children, who gives out flyers for a charity concert in the benefit of an orphanage. Dara who was idiot enough to risk her life for a cat that she calls Liloree. Dara who was working and handing out flyers on a huge silly duck mascot.

And Dara who was holding his hand, making his head spin, his heart flutters and making him feel warmth.

She was not a stranger, she was Dara.

He pressed his lips on a thin line staring straight at her beautiful brown eyes. ‘You…’ he trailed off as he kept his eyes on hers. ‘Don’t know what you are asking for,’ he continued in a tone of great warning that wanted her to stay away from him contradicting how he held her hand wanting to not let go. Dara smiled as she broke into soft chuckles. She then looked at him with a wide, genuine and striking smile. ‘I know what I am talking about Seunghyun,’

‘No, you don’t.’ he said in finality as he inhaled deeply. ‘I might need you more than you’ll ever know,’ he said forcing every voice out of his quivering lips as he bit it hard. Dara looked at him stunned, unable to move or react or say anything at all. Seunghyun pulled away running his palm over his face before clutching his hair with both hands.

What was he doing? That doesn’t sound right. Is that something you’ll say to someone you just met, to someone you know so little? The words slipped out his mouth so fast that he didn’t realized he had said it and there was no way he could take it back and perhaps he never wanted to take it back.

It was damn true anyways. He knew of it, he will definitely need her more than he or she or anyone could ever know. Something tells him that he would definitely.

Dara heaved a small sigh as she recovered from the shock his words brought her. She smiled at him as she brought her hand and caressed his cheeks. Her hands soon glided its way to his ear then to his hair as she was running her fingers on her hair letting it tickle the spaces between her every finger. ‘Then please need me,’ she smiled at him as he felt his heart stopped beating, his mind went blank. And his chest soon was filled with swirling colors as he was brought to euphoria. Dara chuckled as she looked at his red tainted cheeks. He was so cute. ‘Let’s eat I’m hungry,’ she said.

Seunghyun snapped from his trance as he blinked at her several before able to gave a nod. He scratched his head as they both walked to the bench fetching his things as he carried the mascot in his hands with Dara carrying the head. And soon after they walked their way to the cafeteria with few words and warm silence and of course the eyes of many.

‘Thank you for your hard work Dara!’ Mrs. Song smiled as she bowed down to her. She quickly removed her white apron hanging it neatly on her locker as the old lady walked her way to her. She then smiled handing Dara a white envelope making Dara bowed down in gratitude to her. She smiled opening the envelope and started counting her weekly salary at her third job for the day. Her eyes widened when she noticed that it was more than her salary.

‘Mrs. Song,’ she called to the lady who was about to walked out of the employee’s locker room. The lady turned to her with a smile. ‘What is it dear?’ she asked as Dara walked to her grabbing the excess money from the envelope handing it back to her. Mrs. Song chuckled softly shaking her head in disbelief as she handed the money back to her. ‘It’s for you,’ she said with a warm smile. ‘It’s for being a great employee and for increasing the customers in this little run down restaurant,’ she laughed hearty as Dara flushed red.

‘But Mrs. Song,’ Dara protested softly. ‘Please take it. I know you need it,’ the lady retorted with a smile as Dara inhaled deeply before letting out a smile and forcing herself to nod. She bowed down at her kind hearted boss. ‘Thank you so much,’ she said as the lady just ruffled her hair and left the room in silence.

Dara went back to her locker fixing her things and placing it on her bright yellow bag pack when one of her co employee entered the locker room. ‘You’re leaving early Hyomin?’ she asked at the lady who seemed in haze. The lady nodded as she opened her locker scampering with her things as cold sweat broke on her forehead. ‘Hey what’s wrong?’ she asked gently placing her arm over her shoulder.

Hyomin turned to her softly before finally breaking down in tears burying her face over her palms. ‘My son was rushed to the hospital,’ she cried as Dara quickly felt great pity. Hyomin wiped her tears away. ‘I have to hurry,’ she said in a voice trying to stay firm. Dara quickly opened her bag pack fishing out the white envelope that she received from Mrs. Song knowing Hyomin had already took her salary for the month in advance last week for their family expenses.

‘Here take this,’ she said handing the envelope to her. Hyomin looked up to her. ‘But Dara…’ she hesitated. ‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay you…’ Hyomin said in honesty torn between accepting and refusing. Dara smiled. ‘Don’t worry about it, take it. I love Soobin you know,’ she chuckled. ‘Don’t worry about paying,’ she added caressing Hyomin’s back as she broke more to crying. ‘Thank you for this… thank you so much…’ the lady cried hard as Dara pulled her into a tight hug. ‘Anything!’ she said with a smile still caressing her back, cooing her. ‘Geez, stop crying and hurry up. Soobin is waiting in the hospital,’ she said with soft chuckles.

Hyomin pulled herself away from her looking at her as she wiped away her tears. ‘But what about you Dara?’ she asked with genuine worry for her as she held her hand tightly. Dara smiled at her. ‘I got so many jobs,’ she smiled. ‘I’ll be alive,’ she sniggered as Hyomin let out a chuckle of mixed gratitude and relief. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered one more time as she pulled her into a quick embrace. Dara nodded her head with a smile. ‘I’ll visit Soobin as soon as I got time,’ she said as Hyomin nodded and they both paced out of the locker room, bowing in goodbye to the others. Soon after they stepped out of the small diner they separated ways.

Dara looked at the night sky before glancing at her watch. It was already 9 in the evening. She tightened her jacket as she placed both her hands inside its front pocket. She needed to hurry. She started walking her way to the bus station in quite haste.

Park Sandara a girl whose life was embraced with misfortunes and armored by wrong decisions. She was a daughter of a middle class family who had their fair share of comfort and struggle. Life has been pretty much balanced to her before until both her parents was caught in a scam which her father believed to as a huge investment, investing their everything on it only to wake up one day with them left with which soon sunk them in a huge debt.

Her mother got ill out of over working and too much stress and so was her father. They both died when she was just twelve leaving her and her brother, Park Sanghyun, alone as they were taken by social workers placing them in an orphanage. Her parents both died paying every bit of their debt, the only thing they knew they can give to their children.

In the orphanage Dara and Sanghyun’s life became more bearable and was even fun with different children until the time in which Dara was bound to be adopted in which Sanghyun greatly disagreed leaving them no choice but to run away and escape the orphanage. They both worked hard while studying settling themselves to a rundown apartment that has a very cheap renting fee. It was harsh for the both of them, facing that kind of life in such raw age but then they survived until Sanghyun started choosing a different path of life which earned him easy money in a very dangerous way.

She heaved a sigh at the memory as she glanced back at the starless night. She stopped walking as she felt her lips pressed on a thin line. For a moment she thought her eyes were threatening to water. She shook her head lightly pulling her jacket more as she glanced around her. Her eyes landed on the huge stall next to her which sold Television in various sizes and features. Television which flashes live news.

Dara stared at the news as it flashed. ‘Kwon Jiyong, CEO of the Kwon Group of Companies together with her 5 year wife, Japanese Model Kiko Mizuhara had built a charity foundation that will benefit more than ten orphanages in the country and more than five animal centers,’ the news anchor announced as video footage of the couple together with their two children flashed on the screen. Dara’s lips spread into a small smile as she breathed deeply as she started walking her way on the bus but then she soon broke into run knowing how impatient he could be.

She quickly boarded the bus settling herself in the seat next to the window as her mind started drifting off to somewhere, to her work, to the children, the charity she was working on, the upcoming concert, then on Sanghyun, then on… Seunghyun. Her heart quickly constricted as she bit her lips hard trying so hard to forget him or at least get him out of her mind. It felt so wrong that she suddenly think of him, his warm soft hands, his broad chest, his sweet minty smell and his voice. And how his eyes were just so beautiful to her.

She tightly shut her eyes. She should stop thinking of him or let him get to her. She must not let herself get carried away by their friendship, well if they were really in that phase already. Are they friends? Friends, the word made her cringe as she was torn between accepting and rejecting the idea and the word itself. She bit her lips forcing herself to just stop thinking of him for she has no right to. Not a single one.

She snapped from her trail of thoughts and the clashing of her insides when the bus announced her stop. She quickly stood up and jumped off the bus. She then turned her head left and right as she crossed the road, jogging her way to a house just right the corner. After reaching her destination she pulled the key inside her bag and opened the metal brown gate as she quickly slid herself inside locking it before proceeding her way to the huge house behind those brown metal gates.

She stared at the house for moments before she heaved a sigh. The lights were now ; he must have been waiting for about an hour now. She pressed her lips on a thin line as she opened the door. After removing her shoes she quietly slipped her feet on the pink slippers placed on the corner as she quickly moved her way to their room. She opened the door as she was welcome by an empty room. She twitched her lips placing down her yellow bag pack and removing her jacket as she passed by the whole body mirror plastered on the closet door. She stared at herself quickly fixing her hair and straightening her blue vintage dress.

She walked her way to the room’s huge window as she let the curtain hanged loose. She let out a surprised yelp when she felt arms s around her waist as his warm familiar lips touched her nape sending shiver to her whole body as his warm breath brushed against her skin. ‘I missed you,’ he whispered slowly, gently as if he was making her understand what he just said. She felt herself stiffened in place as her lips curved on an obligatory smile. ‘I missed you too,’ she answered as she gently removed his arms and turned to face him wrapping her arms on his neck. It was a lie that she had been saying for two years yet right now it felt foreign in her tongue for some unknown reason.  

She was welcomed by his handsome face, his light brown hair pulled up with a gel his eyes were gleaming with delight his lips curving in a child like smile. He leaned his forehead against her as she closed her eyes feeling his breath as it brushed against her face. ‘Dara,’ he called out to her name lovingly, longingly making her flutter her eyes open. ‘I love you…’ he whispered as he leaned down claiming her lips with pure desire and desperate longing that he wanted to quench as he savored her lips kissing her in a fighting sense of gentle and rough.

Dara pulled away from him giving herself a chance to inhale every breath he took in their passionate kiss. She was huffing. Cheeks burning red, eyes closed as her arms still around his neck. He pulled away from her lifting his arm placing his finger beneath her chin making her look up as their gaze met as soon as she opened her eyes. And there right before her very eyes stood another product of her damn misfortune and wrong decision, the CEO of Kwon Group of Companies, a rich handsome lad and the husband of the famous Japanese Model Kiko Mizuhara, Kwon Jiyong.

Jiyong smiled lovingly at her, gently tucking her hair behind her ears. ‘I missed you, I haven’t seen you in days,’ he said wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him as their body pressed. Dara did her very best to pull a smile wishing for it to look natural. His warmth it feels like the fire of hell every inch of her as she will soon burn in the sin she was committing with him. But what can she do when she was left with no other option but to bite the forbidden fruit?

‘You’ve got thinner,’ Jiyong frowned. ‘Ji, I’m eating well,’ she said with a chuckle as the guy busied himself showering her with kisses all over the corner of her lips down to her jaw lines and to the crook of her neck. Jiyong distanced himself from her to look straight to her beautiful eyes. ‘Dara I beg you to just stop working… let me take care of everything,’ he cooed her. Dara rolled her eyes as she pulled herself away from him as she stood facing the heavy curtains of their room inside the house that he bought for the two of them.

Jiyong wrapped his arms around her waist leaning his chin on her shoulder as Dara wrapped her arms over his arms. She bit her lips as she felt the stinging in the corner of her eyes. She was a . She was a mistress and no matter how she hated it she was a home wrecker. But then it’s not like she chose it or wanted it. No one in the world will be crazy enough to love the situation she was into and she was not even in love.

She wanted to cry for all of these but it was as if all her tears have run dried and she had grew extremely tired of crying that even it was damn heart breaking and soul crashing Sandara Park can’t do anything but to smile brightly and accept things.

Can she even call herself a mistress? For all she knew she was nothing but a payment for a huge debt. She was chained to him by deep gratitude. She was locked to him because of a huge debt and not because of love. Her eyes tightly shut close remembering the day he saw him in that hospital his white polo soaked in blood as he rushed her brother who was caught in a dreadful car accident after drag racing in order to have money. He looked at her with pure admiration which he often referred to her as love at first sight. But never would she thought that in that very moment she would be locked with him in that kind of situation.

‘Dara…’ he called softly to her. ‘Hmmm…’ she answered as she fluttered her eyes open. She then gently turned to face him after removing his arms. She cupped his face. ‘Ji, we talked about this already…’ she said in a voice trying to hide the deep depression and exhaustion. ‘You, paying for Sanghyun’s hospital fee are already enough okay… let’s not add more,’ she begged. She doesn’t want to have more debt to him or reason that will sentenced her forever with him. She never ever wanted to ruin a family. ‘But babe,’ Jiyong weakly protested holding both of her hands caressing it with his thumb.

Dara rolled her eyes as she moved away from him walking to the closet as she opened it grabbing her nightie with Jiyong following her. Dara turned to face him as she smiled. ‘I saw the news,’ she smiled trying to change the topic and gladly it did change as she caressed his cheek. ‘I’m glad about the foundation,’ she said in honesty knowing even without him saying that he did that for her because of her obsession in helping different foundation in hope to wash even a bit of her unforgivable sin. An illusion she built for herself out of extreme guilt. ‘It’s for you,’ Jiyong smiled in great joy. ‘I know… thank you,’ she answered kissing him quickly on his lips.

‘You look good with your wife,’ she said as Jiyong’s expression quickly changed. It became grim as he stood stiffen, jaw clenching. He rolled his eyes as she pulled her pressing her body on his. ‘Promise, as soon as I secured my inheritance, I’ll divorce her,’ he said and it scared her how sincere it sounded. It felt like a lump rose on his throat threatening to kill her with guilt. ‘Ji… please,’ she breathed out freeing herself from his arms. ‘Don’t ever… ruin your family… think about your two lovely children,’ she added choking with guilt and regret.

‘They’ll like you,’ he said simply as he sat down on the edge of their huge bed holding up her hands... ‘Ji… they need their real mother,’ she reasoned out. ‘But I need you,’ he retorted. ‘Dara I love you, I just love you.’ he added. ‘So much that you don’t have any idea how much,’ he added helplessness hugging his every word. ‘You love me too right?’

‘Please tell me you feel the same,’ Jiyong said in a low begging voice wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face on her stomach. Dara looked down to him before she lifted her gaze on the room’s ceiling. Her voice it seemed like it left her. ‘I…’ she trailed off as she was stopped.

Her jaw clenched tightly as Seunghyun’s face flashed in her mind as her skin seemingly burn as she could clearly feel his warmth when they were close to each other, when she was hugging him. She felt dirty. She felt wrong. She felt like the biggest that have ever existed in the whole world. She felt unworthy and low.

‘I love you too Ji,’ she said forcing every words out. For the first time after two years that lie became more clearer, more painful. Jiyong looked up to her as he reached his arms over her cheek. ‘I love you more baby,’ he said with a smile and it broke her heart more in pieces.

After two years of being in that situation, she finally felt the strong urge of wanting to get out of it, to run away from it and be at home, or any place that was warm, safe and comfortable.

Maybe be at Seunghyun’s arm? Maybe.