~JaeJoong~

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as soon as I entered the kitchen I saw Yunho and Changmin waiting for me by the kitchen table. Knowing that they would attack me with questions I gestured them to let me have minute. They didn't say anything and I got myself a glass of water and sat down

"Bring it" I sighed

"What happened? I returned from the gym and Changmin told me what happened" Yunho said

I shrugged

"She had another nightmare and for the first time she opened herself up to me and asked me if I thought of her as disgusting.. dirty.. in other words.. A " I said

Yunho froze

"She feels disgusted with herself and has no self confidence at all. Probably people hasn't shown her any kind of respect, not to mention that she really is damaged inside cause she keeps thinking that she is a .. and when I was trying to comfort her earlier in her room, she refused to let me touch her" I said

"Refused? Wae? You've touched her before right?" Changmin said sadly

I nodded

"I have but after revealing her feelings in the kitchen earlier, I guess she just needs some time.. and I understand her. I mean it's hard right?"

Both of them nodded

"Look, she's healing. Mentally. But physically... that will take a lot of work and I think we will be able to help her if we just.. spend time with her just like friends. Spend time with her liek friends would do. But not touch her .. I think that is a very sensitive thing to do to her right now"

"So we can't even hug her?" Yunho asked

I shook my head

"She refused to let me touch her earlier. How are we suppose to hug her then?"

"When we're comforting her.. or.. something I don't know.." Yunho said

I sighed

"I don't know guys. I really have no idea what is going on inside of her head but I know that she doesn't dare to fall asleep because of the nightmares. And since she's healing, probably the memories are coming back and I don't think it'll be long until she remembers her past. And she is somehow starting to get her life back. She helped me with the dishes.. a bit earlier"

"Chincha?" Both of them gasped

I nodded

"I think she was watching me and then she just walked over and took the plate and started to clean it.. so.. I wonder how much she really remembers" I said

"I'm just worried about her.. Cause we don't want her to be depressed" Changmin mumbled

"Depressed? Aniya.. I don't think so.. well a bit maybe. Sad and frustrated but.. she's more scared than depressed" I said

"Yes but I'm worrying that if that depression grows she might attempt suicide"

Both Yunho and I spit out the water we had in our mouths and stared at Changmin

"I'm just stating the fact here. You can't tell me that it is not possible cause it is. She's been through a lot" Changmin sighed

"We shouldn't think about stuff like that" I said a bit upset

"But we need to be prepared" Changmin said

"WHY SHOULD WE EVEN BE PREPARED?! TO DIG HER GRAVE? HER STONE?!" I shouted angrily

I had unknowingly got up from my seat

"Yah JaeJoong ah~~ It was just a thought.. you don't have to get so angry" Yunho said

I took a deep breath

"I'm checking up on her.." I mumbled and left the kitchen

I couldn't really control the frustration earlier cause just the thought of MinJi committing suicide is not happening. She can't and she won't. I won't let her..

I opened the door slowly as I peeked inside her room, rested my head on the wall as I watched her sleeping quietly on her bed..
Even if it was dark here, it didn't matter cause the moonlight were shining down on her, and her small night lamp on the night desk were making it possible for me to see her..

I entered quietly and kept my distance and looked at her.
As I kept watching her, I was trying to push the thoughts of her dead to the back of my head and I was trying to figure out how I should help her instead..
But none of those things were even brought up inside of my head since my head were drifting away.. Pictures of how she looks when she's smiling and being happy was taking over and I even secretly smiled to myself when I watched her..

Her beauty was breathtaking. Just seeing her sleeping even managed to take me away and soon my eyes drifted to her small fragile hands..
My eyes soon wandered up to her face and it stopped right where her lips was..

I then realized what I was thinking about and shook my head angrily as I hurried outside the room, closed the door and ran to my own bedroom. I threw myself down on the bed and covered my face

"What in the world am I thinking?!"