Angsty YoungUp requested by elisoniackibumster ^^

I decided to write this before the JongLo one I was planning, because the idea popped into my head haha. 

This chapter is more angst than fluff, I tried including more fluff but it's hard to do that with angst fics LOL. So if angst isn't really your thing, I wouldn't advise reading this ><

My feet brought me up the stairs, up to the rooftop of the apartment we had shared together. I looked past the edge, admiring the view from the 20 story building. The wind blew past me, ruffling my hair and I closed my eyes. The smell of car exhaust coming from below reminded me of the countless times we stood here together, looking over the city of Seoul standing in the spot I was in right now.  

“Look, you can see the stars out tonight,” he said, hugging me from behind and pointing towards the darkened sky.

“They’re pretty,” I whispered, mesmerized at the view. The skies were clear for once; a sight hardly seen in this busy city.

He buried his face in my hair, kissing my neck softly. “Not as pretty as you are,” he mumbled, and my face flushed red.

“Don’t say things like that Jonguppie,” I blushed, lightly pushing him off of me. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist again, the both of us leaning on the edge of the rooftop.

“You’re beautiful, Youngjae,” he said, swaying back and forth with me in his arms. “The stars can't compare to you.”

“Aish, this kid,” I joked, and my boyfriend kissed me softly with a smile on his face.

“You know you love me,” he teased, and I kissed him back.

“Yeah, I do,” I grinned, and he grinned back, before pulling me in closer for another kiss.

The skies were grey tonight, not a single star was in sight.

The feeling of his arms around me lingered, and I hugged myself around the waist subconsciously. For a second I swore I could smell the mix of pine needles and musk that would always accompany him.

Our arms swung between us, fingers intertwined as we walked through the forest. It was a nice day, and we had decided to go for a nature hike together. Tall, green trees surrounded us, sunlight seeping through its branches; illuminating our path.

I stopped to catch my breath, leaning over with my knees bent. Jongup had better stamina than I did, and there wasn’t even a drop of sweat on his face. He walked over to me, brushing my bangs out of my face as I gulped down some water.

“Do you need to take a break, Jae?” he asked, taking my bag from me and swinging it over his shoulder. I shook my head, breathing still uneven.

“It’s okay, we’re almost out anyways,” I assured him, and continued walking ahead. The younger wasn’t convinced however, and when I paused for a moment he scooped me up from underneath, his muscular arms holding me as he carried me bridal style.

“MOON JONGUP PUT ME DOWN,” I swore, and he laughed.

“No way, you’re obviously tired,” he grinned, “if I let you walk we won’t be out of here till midnight.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging on for dear life as he continued walking. I felt bad for making him hold me, even if not a sign of weariness could be seen on his face.

“You know for a kid who’s younger than I am you sure are strong,” I pouted, leaning my head on his shoulder.

He chuckled and pecked my lips quickly, before carefully letting me go when the field we began in emerged in front of us.  

“Well I have to be strong so I can hold you up whenever you need me.”

A grim smile appeared on my face, and I stepped onto the ledge.  Sounds of the traffic below rang through the night, the people below running around with their cell phones glued to their ears; too busy to notice me standing up here.

“Don’t leave me, Jongup. Please don’t leave,” I cried, face wet with tears. “You promised me you’d be here for me, you promised!”  

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice raspy. His body shook as he coughed, and I tightened my grip on his hands. The fingers between mine were cold, a complete contrast compared to my clammy hands. He reached towards my face, hands shaking as he wiped my tears away.

“Please don’t cry Jae,” he whispered, “stay strong for me.”

“Y-you were always the strong one,” I whimpered, trying me best to stop the tears from falling. “N-not me. You were the one holding me up all t-this time, what am I going to do w-without you?”

“You’ll be okay,” he whispered, voice getting quieter. “You’ll be okay.”

I shook my head, the tears dropping down my face uncontrollably. “P-Please don’t leave me.”

 “Don’t forget me, Youngjae,” he said, using his remaining energy to pull me closer for a soft kiss.

“I-I won’t. I c-can’t even if I wanted to.”

“I love you, Jae,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “Remember that.”

“I l-love you too, Jongup,” I whispered back, and he gave me one last smile.

“I’ll wait for you up there,” he said faintly, his voice fading to nothing when a dull beep filled the room.

I stared back up at the sky, then back down to the busy streets below.

I’m not okay without you.

With one sharp breath, I closed my eyes shut and took a step off the ledge.

The sounds of screaming and sirens surrounded me, the people on the streets running towards my lifeless body on the ground.  I hovered overhead, looking at all the commotion that I had caused.

Strong arms wrapped themselves around my waist, and I turned around and smiled at him.

“I told you I’d wait for you.”  

@elisoniackibumster, I hope this is what you were looking for ^^