If there was one thing that Kyuhyun was sure of, it was that he was utterly and hopelessly in love with Choi Siwon.

            Yes, it had all started when Siwon moved next door. Kyuhyun was five and Siwon was six. When he and his mother went over to introduce themselves, the first thing little Kyuhyun had said to Siwon upon seeing him for the first time was, "Wow! You're very handsome! Can I be your wife, please?" Both their mothers laughed loudly, finding the little boy's antics adorable. Siwon, however, had a look of horror on his face.

            As the years progressed, Siwon found himself reluctantly spending time with the next door weirdo. He simply tolerated Kyuhyun, only because his mother made him, and because Mr. and Mrs. Cho were pretty nice people. Their families became very close and the two boys referred to the other's parents as their aunt and uncle. Basically, he liked all of the Chos except for Kyuhyun.

            On Kyuhyun's end, he was thrilled whenever he spent time with who he was sure would be his future husband. It was no secret that Kyuhyun was in love with Siwon. It was no secret that he was gay. Although Mr. Cho had choked on his wine when Mrs. Cho pointed it out one late night as they discussed their lives, he grew to accept his son. Deep down, he had known it all along, too.

            Kyuhyun took every opportunity to give Siwon a kiss on the cheek. He was never discouraged by any of Siwon's rejections. He was sure his hyung would realize his feelings soon. Then they'd get married and go on a romantic honeymoon and live together in a big house and get a cute little puppy and be happy forever and ever and-- oh gosh. The thought was too much.

            Even when Kyuhyun entered high school, and was met with disgust from his peers for being gay, his feelings for Siwon never wavered. In fact, Siwon-hyung protected him from all the bullies. To Siwon, though, he just felt obligated to help the kid out. It would make auntie and uncle sad if they realized that Kyuhyun was having a difficult time fitting in at school. A few years ago, they suddenly became very busy and spent less and less time at home. During these years, to the chagrin of Siwon and the delight of Kyuhyun, the younger had been at the older's home more often than not.

            Siwon was sure, since he was a year older, that he would only have to deal with the freak for two years. It would be a year of begrudgingly fending off the school bullies and dealing with Kyuhyun's constant confessions of love. Then, he'd be in college and would be free.

            However… Kyuhyun, as annoying as he was, also happened to be a incredibly smart. He skipped his junior year and became a senior with Siwon. Siwon was sure he’d have the worst senior year in history when, on the very first day of the new year, Kyuhyun tackled him with a hug saying, “We’re in the same class, hyung! I’m so happy!”

            Siwon was not gay. He was sure of it. In fact, Kyuhyun outright disgusted him. If it weren't for the Cho family's and the Choi family's friendship, he would have nothing to do with Kyuhyun. He wouldn't give a damn if the younger was miserable in school or had no friends. It would be none of his business. But no. Their parents just had to get along so swimmingly. Worse, he really liked his non-biological aunt and uncle. It was just... Kyuhyun... Ugh...

            No, he was not a homophobe. He just really disliked being hit on by Kyuhyun.

            Peer pressure is one of the biggest challenges a teenager must face. And for Siwon, his reputation seemed to be getting worse and worse. Students were assuming things, as bratty, stupid, hormonal teenagers are wont to do. God. People were beginning to think he was gay despite the countless girlfriends he had. And it was all because of Kyuhyun. There were rumors developing. Rumors that Kyuhyun and Siwon had a thing. His friends all laughed at him and about it any chance they got.

            But... those "friends" weren't really his friends. His true friends were Donghae and Hyukjae, who were actually in a relationship. (See? He wasn't a homophobe. His two best friends were gay and in a relationship with each other.) No one dared to give them a hard time about it, though. Hyukjae had a temper that only the bravest and stupidest would dare to mess with. There were only a few students openly gay at school, and Donghae and Hyukjae were the even fewer who were left alone despite this. And they certainly did not mind Kyuhyun. They thought it was kind of cute. The kid was so endearing and innocent and honest. How could Siwon not want to tap that?

            To Siwon, though, his pent up frustration (not that kind of frustration) and irritation seemed to grow with each day and each new taunt. It certainly did not help that Kyuhyun was stuck to his side twenty-four seven, since they had so many classes together. It didn’t help that Kyuhyun didn’t seem to realize that kissing Siwon in front of the other students was unacceptable. Nope.

            “Siwon-hyung! Can I sleep over tonight? Can I?” Kyuhyun asked as the two were walking home from school. They had just exited the school’s gates. The younger had latched his arms around Siwon’s right arm, and Siwon had given up on trying to get free a long time ago.

            “Just sleep at your own house, Kyuhyun.” Siwon answered. “You haven’t for, like, a week.”

            Kyuhyun pouted. “But hyung! I like sleeping at your house. I wanna!”

            “Well we can’t always get what we want, now can we?”

            Kyuhyun noticed that his hyung was in a worse mood than usual and frowned. Then, he got a brilliant idea. A kiss! Siwon-hyung would definitely feel better with a kiss. Kyuhyun jumped up and placed a loving kiss on Siwon’s cheek and giggled. His heart always sped up whenever he did this.

            The students around them (they weren’t very far from the school yet) started to make taunting noises. And perhaps it was the bad day Siwon had or just the years of having to put up with Kyuhyun. Whatever it was, though, made Siwon livid. The teasing around him triggered something inside of the usually calm and collected boy, making him snap. He violently shoved Kyuhyun away from him, making the younger fall onto the ground.

            “Dammit, Kyuhyun!” Siwon yelled. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not gay?! I don’t like you. I never have and never will. I’ve never even thought of you as my friend. You’ve always been the annoying brat next door with the creepy crush on me, okay? I’ve only been putting up with you for so long because I felt bad for you. You obviously don’t have any friends.”

            “Hyung.. I—“

            “Don’t even start.” Siwon interrupted. “I am sick and tired of you and your stupid crush. Leave me alone! I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. I hate you.”

            With these harsh words, Siwon left. Kyuhyun was still on the ground, stunned at what had just happened. Even the students around them quietly left, although they snickered and whispered amongst each other. 

            Eventually, Kyuhyun shakily stood up, tears dripping from his face. He made his way to Siwon’s home and knocked on the door. It opened, but Siwon only slammed the door closed when he saw it was Kyuhyun.

            “Hyung…”  Kyuhyun called out weakly, hoping Siwon would at least listen. “I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you mad. I know…” he swallowed. “I know you said that you don’t want anything to do with me… But can we be friends? I promise I’ll stop being annoying… Don’t… Don’t hate me…”

            “Go away Kyuhyun.” Siwon said firmly.

            Heartbroken Kyuhyun simply went back to his own home, wondering if there was anything he could do to make things okay between him and Siwon-hyung. He knew that Siwon didn’t like him back, but… he could have never expected the older to hate him. The word itself brought fresh tears to Kyuhyun’s eyes.

            Kyuhyun went to school alone the next day. First period hadn’t started and he was already shoved into walls and onto the ground countless times. Now that the whole school knew Siwon wouldn’t be there to protect Kyuhyun, it was as if everyone decided to take the chance to prey on him.

            Kyuhyun tried countless times to talk to Siwon and to apologize, but to no avail. Donghae and Hyukjae tried their best to help the boy, but, they simply did not have the time. The three of them only had one class together, which was a study hall. There, at least, Kyuhyun could have the solace of his only friends. Outside of this class, though, he was all alone.

            Before long, things got physical. Kyuhyun would go home with fresh bruises on his body everyday. Siwon turned a blind eye to everything.

            It had been about two weeks since Siwon stopped talking to Kyuhyun. During those two weeks, Siwon grew only more and more agitated. He couldn’t get the image of Kyuhyun out of his head. He couldn’t help but constantly feel that something was missing when he found himself alone. He hated the guilt and pain he felt when he saw Kyuhyun at school.

            But he denied everything. He tried to force himself to like and accept this new change.

            One day after school, as Siwon exited the school gates, he heard Kyuhyun calling him. Siwon sighed and turned around to see Kyuhyun being chased by two other students.

            “Hy-hyung!” Kyuhyun cried, tears streaming down his face. “Pl-please help me. Please, hyung!”

            The two students had caught up and watched Siwon and Kyuhyun. “Are you going to protect your boyfriend, Siwonnie?” one of the sneered.

            Siwon looked at Kyuhyun, who had gripped Siwon’s forearm in utter fear. He looked at the two other students. He could barely remember their names, yet their jeering expressions were all Siwon needed to see to shake Kyuhyun off.

            Kyuhyun’s eyes widened as Siwon walked off. He continued to scream for help as he was dragged away. He could only cry, though, as he endured the seemingly endless hits. He could only bear with the pain as he forced himself to go home. How did things get so horrible?

            Kyuhyun missed school the next day. Siwon could only imagine the worst possible cases. Did he hurt too much to move? What if he needs to go to the hospital? Only worry consumed him as he thought about yesterday’s events. Why didn’t he stop them? What the hell was wrong with him?

            No Kyuhyun the following day. Siwon tried to keep it cool, he really did. But Hyukjae and Donghae definitely noticed the change in their friend’s behavior.

            “Just give him a call and ask him if he’s alright.” Donghae said.

            Siwon frowned. “No. I’m not worried about him.” Lies. Lies, lies, lies.

            By the third day, Siwon finally admitted to himself that he was worried sick. Where on earth was Kyuhyun? He was restless throughout that school day and could not focus on anything. As soon as school ended, he went home only to pick up a spare key that the Choi family had of Kyuhyun’s house.

            Siwon quickly entered Kyuhyun’s home and called out his name, receiving no answer. He ran up the stairs and barged into Kyuhyun’s room, expecting the boy to just be there. He expected to open the door and to be greeted with Kyuhyun’s cheerful “Hi, Siwon-hyung!”

            But that wasn’t the case.

            The boy looked horrible. He was covered with a thick blanket, but was still shivering. Siwon dropped his bag by the doorway and rushed over to Kyuhyun’s side, feeling his forehead. It was burning. Working quickly, he went back downstairs to the kitchen to fetch a rag and a bowl of water.

            As Siwon placed the cool rag on Kyuhyun’s forehead, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. When Kyuhyun was sick, he never hesitated to go over to Siwon’s house to be taken care of by Mrs. Choi. Kyuhyun had missed three days of school. He had suffered alone for three days.

            While waiting for Kyuhyun to wake up, Siwon went back to the kitchen to prepare some porridge. He suddenly grew worried sick as he wondered how Kyuhyun kept himself alive these past few days. He felt a little bit better, though, to see unwashed bowls in the sink. At least Kyuhyun had been eating.

            After roughly an hour, Kyuhyun had woken up and by then Siwon had finished cooking. When Siwon entered Kyuhyun’s room with a tray of the porridge, Kyuhyun’s eyes widened and he quickly sat up, the rag from his forehead falling off. “Hy-hyung!”

            “Hey…” Siwon could only say. He set the tray on Kyuhyun’s bedside table and placed the fallen rag back into the bowl of water from earlier. “You should have come over or something, Kyuhyun.”

            Kyuhyun laughed nervously. “I… I’m fine. I just need some sleep and medicine.”

            Siwon sighed. Why were things so horrible now? He simply could not get rid of the gnawing, ever growing feeling of guilt eating him up inside.

            “I made you porridge. You should eat to regain your strength.”

            Kyuhyun definitely seemed surprised, but pleasantly so. He took the porridge and began to eat. There was only silence as he ate. Siwon could not think of anything to say. Kyuhyun ate every last drop in the bowl and smiled when he was finished. “Thanks a lot, hyung.” He said. “I feel a lot better already. It tasted really good.”

            Siwon only nodded and silently took the bowl from Kyuhyun’s hands. He quickly went downstairs to do the dishes before going back up to Kyuhyun’s room with medicine and a glass of warm water. “Take this and go to sleep.”

            Kyuhyun took the small pill and drank all the water in the glass. “I’m really okay, hyung.” He said. “You don’t have to waste time here.”

            It’s not a waste of time… Siwon thought. And he felt as if he should have voiced his thoughts, but remained silent.

            “I… I’m going to go back home now.” Siwon said, not missing the look of disappointed in Kyuhyun’s eyes. “Just… call me… or something if you need me…”

            Kyuhyun flashed a weak smile and nodded. “Like I said, I’ll be fine. Hurry and go home. And will you tell auntie and uncle I said hi, please?”

            Siwon only nodded before quickly leaving and making his way back to his own home. During thirty-second walk, he felt as if he should just go back and stay with Kyuhyun, but forced himself to enter his own house with a sigh.           

            “I’m home,” Siwon called out. Mrs. Choi came downstairs to greet her son. “Oh, Siwon. Where were you?”

            “Kyuhyun’s sick,” Siwon answered. “I just went over to check on him.”

            Mrs. Choi’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Sick? Is he okay? Why didn’t he come over like he usually does?”

            Siwon felt a bit guilty, knowing exactly why Kyuhyun didn’t come over. Instead, he shrugged. “He just felt too weak. He’s fine now, though. Don’t worry about it mom. I made him porridge.”

            His mother only seemed to grow confused now. “Porridge?”

            He nodded. “Yeah, he hate a whole bowl of it and I gave him some medicine. He’s sleeping now. Why? Did I do something wrong?”

            “No, it’s not that. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Mrs. Choi said. “But… Kyuhyun hates porridge. I’m surprised he ate a whole bowl.”

            Siwon’s eyes widened. “Wh-what?! No, that can’t be! He said he really liked it! He ate so much!”

            “You didn’t know, Siwon?” Mrs. Choi said. “Kyuhyun just hates the texture of it. His mother makes him chicken soup when he’s sick.” She stopped to think for a second. “But I suppose people can change.”

            Upon hearing this, Siwon grew furious.

            He couldn’t even figure out why that made him so angry. And he felt stupid for feeling angry, but that didn’t change the fact that he was angry. The next day at school when he saw that Kyuhyun was now well enough to attend, he cornered Kyuhyun during break.

            “Are you stupid?!” Siwon exclaimed. “Why didn’t you say anything? You forced yourself to eat something you hate when you’re sick—I just… What the hell Kyuhyun? What is wrong with you?” People around them were beginning to stare.

            Kyuhyun, at first, could only stare at Siwon with wide eyes. Eventually, he managed to speak.

            “I... I was just really happy, hyung..” He choked out. “B-because you made it for me… I liked it a lot… Really… I didn’t meant to make you mad again, I’m sorry…”

            As Siwon listened to Kyuhyun’s simple explanation he felt his heart break. He felt like a monster.

            He realized how much of an idiot he had been. How much of a heartless jerk he had been to Kyuhyun. And how, despite everything, Kyuhyun had continued to love him and care for him. Through the bullying, through Siwon’s own horrible treatment, Kyuhyun’s love had never wavered. And as for Siwon… He had just been an idiot all these years. His irrational anger over the past two weeks and over the stupid porridge made sense. He simply loved Kyuhyun.

            With one swift movement, Siwon wrapped one arm around Kyuhyun’s waist, brought the younger boy close, and kissed him in front of the whole student body. He used his free hand to tangle in Kyuhyun’s brown locks before deepening his kiss. Kyuhyun’s gasp at the sudden movement made Siwon’s entrance all the more easier. He felt Kyuhyun grip his uniform shirt tightly and how the boy seemed to have lost control of his legs. That was okay, though. Siwon’s strong arm supported Kyuhyun and kept his body flush against Siwon’s.

            “I’m sorry. I’m not angry. I shouldn’t ever have been. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” Siwon murmured against Kyuhyun’s lips. They had pulled away for air, but Siwon refused to part any further. He wanted to feel Kyuhyun’s shallow pants against his lips. “I love you.”

            Kyuhyun couldn’t find his voice, but Siwon understood. He brought his hand from Kyuhyun’s hair to his face, wiping away the tears that still steadily flowed. He continued to whisper apologies and Kyuhyun could only nod slightly. The younger boy finally let the death grip he had on Siwon’s shirt go and instead wrapped his arms around Siwon, engulfing him in a warm hug that the older immediately returned. Kyuhyun buried his face in Siwon’s neck and finally managed a small smile through the tears that no one was able to see.

            “Are you okay?” Siwon asked softly, wiping away Kyuhyun’s tears. Kyuhyun could only nod, and shyly looked down. His heart was just about ready to burst out of his chest.

            “Come on, we’re ditching school today.” Siwon said, gently, but quickly, tugging Kyuhyun behind him. He didn’t care about the students around him staring. He wanted everyone to see that he wasn’t ashamed anymore.

            They went to Kyuhyun’s house, simply because no one was there. In the privacy of Kyuhyun’s bedroom, Siwon cradled Kyuhyun in his arms and could only seem to whisper apologies.

            “It’s really okay, hyung…” Kyuhyun said.

            Siwon shook his head. “It’s not. It isn’t at all.” He couldn’t believe he had wasted twelve years of potential bliss with Kyuhyun. And in the end, only Kyuhyun had suffered.

            “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Siwon said softly, even though Kyuhyun kept on insisting that everything was okay.

            Eventually, though, Kyuhyun gave in. “Okay,” he whispered. “You make it up to me.”

            Siwon Kyuhyun’s hair. “I’ll start right now.” And kissed the younger boy lovingly.

I'm no good at angst.
And I have a problem.
When I work on a story for a long time, like I did with this one, I become desperate to finish it and end up rushing.
I don't know what to say *_*
So I'll just apologize. I'll write fluff next time T^T