Another week passed by and Luhan was not a single step closer to his goal. Instead he felt like he was walking into the opposite direction if he was honest. Luhan longed for love. He wanted to feel it in his body. The only thing he did feel was guilt and fear though. Kris and Tao were not really helping coping with his approaching death and Luhan felt left alone once more. Of course he knew that he just couldn’t tell Kris that he knew about his condition, but every time he saw Kris flinching in pain, he wanted to give him all the power needed. 
The thought that shinigamis were people that had committed suicide was keeping his mind busy as well. He was curious on what happened, yet he felt like he shouldn’t ask that was nothing he was ought to know. Still, he wanted to give both shinigamis shelter. He felt like he has to protect them from everything. It was quite an overwhelming feeling. 
Sometimes, like right now, when he was alone he would imagine how death was like. If it was painful or not. Luhan hated pain. He wondered how his mom would react when she found him dead and if she had ever been happy again afterwards. 
He pressed his hands on his eyes and inhaled air loudly. Why did Kris approach him that early? He wished he didn’t know about his death yet, so he could just live. Not that his lifestyle differed now. But Luhan couldn’t help it to think he wasted precious moments of his life with nothing. 
Suddenly he felt fingers around his neck and opened his eyes in shock to see a blonde woman sitting on top of him, her make up smudged as if she had showered with it. Her eyes lingered on his lips and she smirked at his panicked expression. 
“So you wanna feel how it is to die?”, she asked seductively. Then she pressed her hands together cutting off Luhans air, who immediately tried to push her off. He failed. That woman was way stronger than he was and easily pinned him down. 
Luhan felt his lungs desperately trying to inhale again but to no avail. Instead his tongue seemed to take over his mouth, filling it up completely. His eyes soon were about to roll back in his head and he felt like falling. Just seconds before he fell, the woman let go off him and slipped off. Luhan pressed his hands on his heart, it ached from the lack of oxygen while he tried to keep his eyes focused on the woman. 
“Can I trust you in that this little… Meeting will be a secret between us two?”, she wanted to know and tilted her head. Luhan eyed her angrily. 
“You almost killed me”, he hissed back, his voice dry and broken. 
The blonde haired woman shrugged. 
“Almost. Sorry… Well see you”
She opened the window and threw him a kiss. Then Luhan saw black wings open, she was obviously an shinigami and she disappeared as quickly as she had arrived. 
Luhan rolled down from his bed, towards the desk to take some medicine as the pain didn’t seem to stop. 
“Better”, he sighed when the pain rolled off and he dropped to the floor weakly. 
“Luhan! Are you okay?”, he suddenly heard Kris yell from a far. Footsteps were quickly approaching him. The blonde student managed to nod slowly. 
“I’m fine”, he replied, his voice rough and unsteady. Sweat was running down his neck and his eyes couldn’t focus on anything. 
Kris was kneeling besides him and held his hand, before picking him up bridal style and placing him back into bed. 
“I never knew your condition was that bad”, Kris stuttered as he covered a sweaty Luhan with the blanket. 
Luhan wanted to say something, explain how he had been attacked by a female shinigami but no words came out. His head was getting dizzy and he clawed into the bedsheets to not lose himself. A shift on the bed told him, that Kris was moving and Luhan wished that his eyesight wasn’t so blurry. Then, Luhan felt an arm around his shoulders that pushed him close to Kris body. Kris started his sweaty hair. 
“Rest now. I’m here”, he heard Kris say with his unique calming voice and Luhan finally drifted off.

It was already really dark when Luhan awoke, his head and heart still hurt a bit, but he could deal with it. Kris was still hugging him tightly, giving him needed support. Luhan lifted his head to look at Kris closed eyes, the full lips, the flawless jaw. He swallowed hard at the sight and tried to sit up, but Kris’ grip was too tight so Luhan just dropped back into the sheets. 
The shinigamis breath was steady and his fake ears were moving a bit with every breath he took. Luhan found him really handsome. Kris had such an unique face, Luhan wanted to touch it but he feared of waking him up so he didn’t. If he was honest, he felt a bit disappointed by that. 
After what felt like an hour, Kris finally shifted and Luhan hurried to pretend to sleep. He heard Kris smiling. 
“I can tell you are awake”, he chuckled and let go off Luhan so the boy could finally move.
Luhan laughed as well and lifted himself up on his elbows. 
“Thank you”, he then said and smiled gently. Kris tilted his head and rolled his eyes. 
“Don’t worry”, he replied and dropped back into the pillow. “I just wanted to take the moment to lie in this bed again.”
“Yah!”, Luhan playfully hit him on the chest. “Get out”, he then jokingly commanded before falling back into the sheets as well. 
A moment of silence followed that Kris then broke by asking: “Why do you search for love?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you looking for love before you die? What’s so special about it? I don’t understand”, Kris admitted.
“I feel like I’m missing out something. Half my life it had just been me and my mom, my father left us when I was young. Seeing my mother hurt about it, I swore that I would never love and I did”, Luhan started explaining. 
“So why now?” Kris sat up and turned to face Luhan. His hand trailed up and lifted a still wet hair stray out of Luhans face, carefully not to hurt the boy. 
“I don’t know, I just have the need inside to love. To be happy at least once…” His voice faded into a sigh. 
“But if it hurts…”
“Yixing said love will make you really strong. I guess I hope I’ll survive when I love” He chucked a bit. “Stupid thought I know. I ll be dead in two months. My heart is defect, this is why I can’t love”
Luhan buried his face in the pillow to suppress a sob. 
“I don’t know how love feels like HanHan. But I want to make you happy. You deserve it”, Kris said. 
The blonde student just sighed once more. 
“Thank you Kris”, he finally brought out and turned back to Kris, his face shimmering from a few hidden tears. 
The shinigami pulled Luhan into a hug. 
“You are kind. You deserve being happy”
“No I’m not. I am an ”, Luhan argued against Kris broad chest. 
“Shut up or I’ll hit you”
Luhan frowned but obeyed.

A few streets away from Luhans house a raven haired boy was sitting on a lantern. His fierce eyes were glued to the street where cars where passing. 
“11.23 pm”, he checked on his clock and looked around. 
A boy was walking towards the street, trying to cross it. 
A loud crash filled the air
Tao slipped down the lantern and landed next to the body, that just had been hit by a car. He got his stick out and pointed it at the heart. Then he pushed it inside. A tiny cloud came out, the soul. Tao hit on it and it separated into two clouds, the yellow noir and the white pure soul. With a swing of his stick, he summoned a gate. 
“Am I dead?”, the voice of the boy asked from his pure soul. 
“Yes, sadly you are. Please follow me, I’ll bring you to a happier place”, Tao replied and lead the boy towards the gate. 
The soul hesitantly entered the gate, mourning about his death while doing so. Tao sighed as he closed the gate and turned towards the noir. Slowly he got out a little box, and carefully placed the noir inside. Then he locked the box. 
Tao put both his stick and the box away and started walking towards a playground. 
“How long do you plan on following me?”, he asked and turned to face a blonde woman with smudged eyeliner. 
“Aww, wasn’t I quiet enough?”, she coed and placed a hand on her hip. 
“What do you want Ga in?”Tao sounded annoyed. 
“You?”
She approached him and let her hand run through his hair. 
“Chen is worried for you”, she went on as she pressed her tiny frame against Taos lean body. 
“Oh, is he?”, Tao mocked and his body stiffened at the touch. 
“Yes, he really is”, Ga in breathed against his ear. 
Tao pushed her off and walked away towards the swing. 
“Also the boss sent me to give you something”, she continued.
“Ah, here we have the real reason of your visit.”, Tao commented nonchalantly.
Ga in put on a fake pout and walked closer to him, moving her hips with every step. 
“Give it to me”, Tao demanded. He of course knew what the boss had sent him.
“Kiss me first” 
“No”
“Then I won’t give it to you”, she smiled and walked off. 
Quickly Tao hurried after her, pulling her hand back, while lifting his stick against . 
“Give it to me”, he repeated coldly. 
“Aww, Tao is still the ice prince”, she grinned and dug in her pockets to retrieve a tiny bottle filled with a red liquid. “What is this?”, Ga in wanted to know, but Tao just ripped it from her hands and pushed her away. 
“None of your business. Now go back to Chen”, he hissed and clutched the bottle tightly. 
“So it’s part of the bosses plan, eh?”
Ga in tilted her head and bit her lip. 
“Well, if you don’t want to talk to me, I’m sure Chen wants to”
She disappeared into nothing and Tao cursed her under his breath. 
Then he went back to the swing and sat on it. With a shaky hand, he opened it and drank everything. Tao broke down from the swing, crying. 
“No! NO!”, he yelled and held his head in pain.

A/N: just a short update. I really like the bit between Kris and Luhan, I hope things are a bit more clear now.

Actually Tao and Ga in are my favorite characters aside from Yixing, they both were easy to write. There is more behind the story of Tao and Chen and the reason why Tao does certain things, just wait for it.

Tell me how you like it.

xoxo Lucy