Tiffany couldn’t remember when or how she fell in love with her. Or maybe she just didn’t realize it at first when she felt the love since it was her first timebut when she did realize it, the love had already taken over her whole heart and mind.

~~

“Hey Fany-ah!” A very short and small girl with two pigtails called out and waved while jogging towards her.

“Hi Sunny!” Tiffany greeted back with a wide smile when she stopped right in front and bent over with her hands on her knees as she caught her breath.

“Hey SunBuns!” A voice crackled from the phone in Tiffany’s hands. The short girl looked up in surprise and searched around for their other short best friend.

“Taetae’s on the phone,” Tiffany waved her phone in front of her face before signaling Sunny to take a seat on the swing beside hers.

“So what’s so important that you called me out this late at night?” Sunny asked while swinging back and forth.

“Yeah, what’s up? You’re killing me with the suspense,” Taeyeon asked over the phone. She lived too far away to be able to join the other two at the park.

The night remained quiet as Tiffany took a few seconds to sort out the thoughts in her head and the feelings in her heart.

“Taetae, Sunny…” Clutching her phone to her chest, she looked into Sunny’s eyes hesitantly.

Sunny smiled encouragingly and said in unison with Taeyeon, “Yes?”

“I-I think Ilike someone,” Tiffany confessed and glanced down at her shoes shyly.The mood suddenly changed when Sunny and Taeyeon let out surprised gasps and began clapping their hands excitedly and shooting her questions.

“OMONA!”

“WHEN?”

“HOW?”

“You finally looked at something other than your books!”

“WOW!”

Tiffany chuckled at her friends’ reaction. It was not surprising that they were behaving this way. After all, who would have ever thought that Tiffany Hwang, the biggest geeky book nerd who turns down a chance to hang out with friends to study instead, will fall in love with someone?

“So what’s with that gloomy look that was on your face?” Sunny questioned at the same time as Taeyeon popped the question that Tiffany was dreading to answer, “So who’s the lucky guy?”

Theslight smile on Tiffany’s face was once again replaced by a frown as worries and fears began to cloud her mind again. What if they don’t approve? What if they will hate me? What if—

“Fany-ah, what’s wrong?” Noticing the downcast mood of their friend, Sunny gently held Tiffany’s hand and patted it soothingly.

“Fany, you don’t have to tell us if you’re not ready,” Taeyeon reassured her as well.

“No, no, no. It’s just…” Tiffany closed her eyes, unable to bear witness to the reaction that might come soon.

“It’s Jessica.”

“…” “…”

“You mean Jessica-sunbaenim?” Sunny asked hesitantly to confirm.

“THE Jessica JUNG?”

“Yes.” Tiffany mumbled under her breath.

A shocked silence followed the confirmation. It seemed to mock Tiffany’s fears and prove her worries. Oh no. Please just… no. Tears began to brim her eyes and her body shook from the sobs that she tried to muffle. She knew this was going to happen. That is why she has kept the secret feelings to herself for so long.

Tiffany has always been attracted to Jessica Jung. The girl had caught her eyes since the first day Tiffany saw her in the library, and every day since, she can remember searching for the older girl wherever she went on the school campus and can feel pulling up at the ends, itching terribly to form a smile, her head giddy with happiness, whenever she saw the one she sought.

Tiffany loved everything about Jessica Jung: the shine of her brown hair, her fair skin, pretty face, model-like body, smooth voice, her cool attitude, her popularity; it was just everything. She was totally enchanted by the Ice Princess, as the freshman was called.  She couldn’t help but stare every time she saw her, she couldn’t stop her heart from racing, her cheeks from blushing, and from smiling every time she simply thought of the girl who captivated her. It was actually a mystery that Taeyeon and Sunny didn’t realize Tiffany’s love for Jessica earlier.

“I-I’m so-sorry,”The soft trembling voice brought the two friends out of their shocked state and slapped them into action once again.

“No, no! Why are you apologizing?”“It was just… unexpected!”

The two girls hurriedly talked over each other in an attempt to explain their silence and comfort their friend.

“Don’t cry, Fany-ah,” Sunny stood up, embracing Tiffany tightly, “It’s fine.”

“Hey, you have quite a good taste! Jessica-unnie is very pretty and hot… even though her isn’t as nice as yours,” Taeyeon said in a lighthearted tone in order to cheer Tiffany up, and it worked as usual.

Sunny burst out laughing while Tiffany chuckled.

“I k-know that she is,” Tiffany answered playfully but ended with a hiccup and another frown, “Byuntae, were you checking out not only my again, but also hers?”

“Hey, hey, I can’t help it ok? They’re just within my range of view,” Taeyeon defensively replied, “That’s the only good thing about being short.”

The three laughed out loud again and the mood lightened considerably. Tiffany looked at her friends and smiled faintly.

“So you guys don’t mind?” She asked when they stopped laughing.

“Mind what?” Taeyeon replied.

“You know… Jessica? Uh… me being… liking a girl?” Tiffany hesitantly approached the topic again, but she had to make sure. She felt constricting up again at the last phrase. She couldn’t say the other g word yet; it felt strange, cursed.

“Of course we don’t mind!”

“It’s a girl, Fany-ah,” Taeyeon explained and reassured, “A girl is human. You’re human. It’s fine. At least you’re not falling in love with a beast like Belle.”

“Thank you,” Tiffany told them, feeling sincerely grateful at their acceptance and friendship.

“No need, that’s what friends are for, right?”

“We still love you no matter what!” Sunny added and gave her friend a big sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Say, Fany… wanna come over tomorrow?” They can almost hear Taeyeon’s smirk through her mischievous tone, “Krystal is coming over to play with Sulli. And you know what this means, Jessica is going to come pick her sister up. They might even stay for dinner if I tell Sulli to keep Krys over.”

Tiffany’s heart immediately began to beat faster in excitement and the butterflies in her stomach celebrated at a chance to see her beloved crush again.The happiness was so overwhelming that she was unable to make any sound other than a high-pitched squeak.

“Uh…I’ll take that as a ‘yes’?” Taeyeon confusedly asked again, “Sunny, you come over too.”

“Okie dokie. You know see her Taengoo; she’s almost dying of joy,” Sunny chuckled and said into the phone, “Hey, I’m going home now. Need to finish up my homework.”

“Yeah, I’m going to slee—,” A yawn interrupted Taeyeon before she finished the sentence, “—eep.”

Tiffany nodded, the wide happy grin still plastered on her face and her eyes twinkling like the stars up above, and she squeaked again. “Okay, see you. Good night!~”

She looked up at the night sky and let out a happy sigh. She felt light and secure in the safe reassurance of her friends. Finally, she had let out the big secret and she might be able to have dinner with Jessica the next day. A whole dinnertime with Jessica. For Tiffany, at that moment, life couldn’t get any better.

``

Tiffany’s joyful mood continued over into the next morning, but then perished for the whole day. Taeyeon and Sunny glanced over from their Wii game to look at their lovestruck best friend who was sitting gloomily by herself.

“Sunbun, she’s starting to worry me.”

“She’s been like this since Jessica-unnie said that she won’t stay for dinner—”

“Because she has a date with Donghae-oppa—”

“It’s a study session,” Sunny interjected in the middle of the sentence just as Taeyeon had interrupted her.

“Righttttt… a ‘study session’ with just the two of them,” Taeyeon made quotation marks with her hands to emphasize her sarcasm, “As if we all don’t know that Donghae likes Jessica.”

“Yah, Kim Taeyeon! What’s wrong with you?!” Sunny hissed angrily, glancing over to Tiffany to see if the girl had caught them arguing, but Tiffany still had her head stuck in her little pink book, scribbling away.

Taeyeon let out a sigh, calming down, and followed Sunny’s eyes. “I’m just worried, ok?”

Feeling eyes on her, Tiffany looked up from writing and, weirdly, smiled happily at her friends before returning to her previous business.

“That girl… she’s going to end up hurting herself.”

Sunny paused their game and patted Taeyeon’s shoulder to ease the concern. “She might, but she’ll still have us. Let’s not think so pessimistically, shall we? Jessica-unnie is not such a bad person. Look at Tiffany, she’s even smiling.”

“I know, but still… sometimes I wonder if this is all a terrible mistake that she’s making.”

Sunny and Taeyeon quieted, tangled in their own thoughts and worries, looking over at the clueless Tiffany who continued smiling in her own world, oblivious of the worries in the other world. At that moment, ignorance was bliss.

“Hey guys? I’ll join you in a minute yeah? Get ready to get your butts kicked!” Tiffany called out to them, back to being her old energetic mushroomball self.

“Oh you bipolar kid,” Taeyeon shook her head in fake disappointment, earning a knock on the head from Sunny.

Tiffany laughed and went back to writing and talking to herself, “I can’t wait for Monday. One day and twelve hours more until I get to see Jessi again. I hope she’ll do well on her test… wait I know that she will. Anyways, I’ll pray for her.”

Taeyeon let out another sigh and unpaused their game, the virtual girl returning back to life and the cheerful music playing from where it left off. Under the loud noises coming from the television, Sunny’s quiet proclamation nearly went unheard.

“Loving someone is never a mistake.”

~~

How much Tiffany wished to approach Jessica, you wouldn’t even be able to guess. And she did try several times, just to get close to the elder. But most of her attempts were futile. The confessions behind the dark pink roses on Valentine’s Day and the little chocolates and carefully folded origami hearts put into Jessica’s locker went unnoticed. Jessica never even guessed that her secret admirer could have been Tiffany as she never paid attention to anyone apart from her two best friends, Yoona and Yuri, and afterall, Tiffany was just a little seventh grader caught in her charm.

Even if Jessica never spared Tiffany a second glance, the lover girl never stopped trying because it was satisfactory enough for her if Jessica knew of her existenceand a mere glimpse of her beautiful angel was enough to keep her flying above the clouds for the day. Tiffany’s two best friends called her whipped and every time they had a chance.Since their school was relatively small, the lover and the loved crossed paths at least once every day. But soon Tiffany stopped leaving their meetings to fate and began to make her own chances. When it was time to choose courses for the new school year, she made sure to take the classes which are located in rooms near those that Jessica will take and joined clubs that Jessica is in, hoping to bump into her at times. She also became a frequenter at Taeyeon’s house in hopes of seeing her crush as her best friend’s sister was, by a twist of fate, another close friend of Jessica’s.

Her crush on the high schooler became so serious that Taeyeon and Sunny began calling her a stalker. Tiffany didn’t deny it since she knew all the classes Jessica has and remembered exactly what the girl wore on which day. If someone has this big of a crush on you and that someone keeps popping up wherever you go, you’re bound to notice right? But Jessica Jung, as ignorant as ever, did not know all this time… at least not until that incident.

~~

It was just a typical lunchtime. Tiffany sat at her usual table by the windows with Taeyeon and Sunny seated across her, but unlike her two friends, Tiffany still has not opened her pink lunch box. She was not really listening to their chatter either as her eyes were focused on the opening and closing door and her mind was solely on Jessica Jung who has yet to arrive to the cafeteria. Her stomach growled angrily in hunger but she heeded it no attention, being focused on filling up her empty heart with a sight of her princess first. Tiffany let out her nth sigh when another random student entered through the door.

“Yah! Hwang Miyoung! Will you stop fidgeting and pay a little attention to your own friends?” Sunny broke off from her conversation with Taeyeon and pouted at the girl who was zoning out on her.

The said girl just let out another soft sigh and rested her head on her palm, her eyes still remained on the entrance of the room.

“Fany-ah, you’re so Sicafied that—” Taeyeon was interrupted by Tiffany’s sudden change in mood.

The danshins rolled their eyes simultaneously before following the love struck girl’s twinkling gaze to see Jessica Jung walkingin beside Yuri while laughing at a joke Yoona had made. As the trio of highschoolers walked in the direction of their table, Tiffany adjusted her position in order to not lose sight of her crush. Her eyes couldn’t stop staring at the beauty, a bright smile lit up her face, and the butterflies in her stomach began fluttering around again.

Feeling eyes on her, Jessica looked down at the table of middle-schoolers and caught Tiffany’s unwavering stare. When their gazes met, the younger girl’s smile grew until it reached her now crescent-shaped eyes and she directed it at the latter, hoping to get one back in return. And she finally got her wish fulfilled. Jessica broke out of her usual indifferent expression and flashed her a quick charming smile before turning back around, indifferent as usual as if the brief interaction never occurred. Tiffany felt as if her heart was going to explode in happiness and her mind blanked out as she began squealing overexcitedly inside.

She’s so beautiful! She thought as blood began rushing up to her cheeks. She bent down and busied herself by unlocking her lunchbox with her shaking fingers, shyly hiding her blushing face. A soft musical giggle reached her ears and the floral scent of Jessica’s perfume filled her nostrils as the girl passed by closely. As soon as the trio was out of the hearing range, Taeyeon and Sunny reached over and attacked their friend who was about to go crazy in happiness.

“OH MY GOSH, did she just smile at you?!” Sunny exclaimed excitedly, holding tightly onto Tiffany’s hands.

“OH MY GAHHH,” Taeyeon copied as Tiffany nodded her head and let out a little shriek, unable to speak due to all the butterflies in her stomach and her irregularly beating heart.

“She’s really pretty when she smiles,” Sunny commented, glancing at the said girl who was now purchasing a drink.

“She’s hot, but her is not as nice as my Sunny’s,” Taeyeon slightly stood up to check out the girl and chuckled uneasily when her two friends glared at her.

“Eyes off her Tae. Jessi’s mine,” Tiffany growled threateningly.

“Chillax. She’s coming back this way,”The table grew quiet and still even before Taeyeon finished her sentence as Tiffany ducked her head back down and picked at her uneaten sandwich.

The three highschoolers walked back past them without even glancing at the girls. They joined their classmates and erupted into loud chatter and laughter while Tiffany let out another sigh.

“What’s wrong, Tiffany?” Sunny asked worriedly, putting down her chopsticks.

Tiffany shook her head and just looked at the lunch in her hands. “Nothing. It’s just that Jessica’s not eating anything again.”

Taeyeon and Sunny smiled upon seeing how much their friend cared for the one she loves.

“Maybe she’s not hungry.”

“Or maybe she’s on a diet,” Taeyeon pinched in, knowing very well that Tiffany hated those girls who didn’t eat in order to turn their skinny bodies into skeletons.“She seems to like thin people. I mean look at herself and her friends.”

All three glanced over to the table on the other end of the room. Tiffany began to poke her own chubby cheeks, stomach and thighs in self-consciousness.

“Should I lose some weight too?” She half asked her friends, and half wondered out loud to herself. “I think I’m becoming fat.”

Taeyeon and Sunny looked at each other in disbelief. Both were shocked that Tiffany was willing to become like the people she detested if she were to gain Jessica’s attention and liking.

“Stop thinking about that. No way,” Taeyeon strongly protested. “Let’s play a game. It’s been a while since we last had fun.”

Sunny immediately nodded in agreement. “What about Truth or Dare? We need some excitement in our boring lives. Summer’s coming up so we better start preparing to have fun!”

Tiffany was reluctant to play that particular game but she nevertheless agreed since her friends seemed so excited.

“Sunny, you’re first since you thought of the game. Truth or dare?” Taeyeon asked.

“Dare,” Sunny answered, feeling brave.

“Hop around the cafeteria like a rabbit.”

“Ok.” She didn’t even hesitate to do what she was asked to. In fact, she was glad that her dare was only this severe. Knowing Taeyeon, she could have asked for an action that was byun.Sunny hopped around happily and ignored the look the others were giving her. Sitting back down at her seat with a flip of her long black hair, Sunny pointed at the other danshin. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Taeyeon challenged back.

“Go touch that boy’s ,” Sunny pointed to a cute high school boy who was standing not very far from them.

“Easy peasy~” Taeyeon sang as she got up and began walking towards him. Acting like she tripped over her own legs, she grabbed the poor boy’s behind and pretended to stabilize herself.

“WTF!” He exclaimed at the unexpected violation of his rear but then worriedly grabbed Taeyeon’s hand to help her balance, “You ok?”

“Sorry!” Taeyeon squeaked, acting like a clumsy girly middleschooler, and bowed before stalking back towards her friends with a victorious smile.

“That wasso easy,” Taeyeon also flipped her hair and winked at Tiffany, “Your turn now.”

“Truth?”

“Come on Tiffany. Be daring!” Sunny interjected.

“What’s there that we still don’t know about you?”

“Fine fine fine. Dare.”

“Are you going to eat that sandwich?”

“No. I’m already full just by watching Jessica smile.”

“Yuck yuck yuck! But anyways… then I dare you to go and give the sandwich to her.”

“W-what?”

“You heard her. Go on.”

“Unless you want to lose your first kiss to me,”Taeyeon threatened with a suggestively raised eyebrow. “I think I’m a pretty good kisser, so it won’t be much of a loss for you.”

“No way. I’ll lose all chances I have with her if I do it. You know that I can hardly stop shaking wheneverI am near her,” Tiffany unleashed her puppy eyes and pushed out her bottom lip in a pout. “Do you want me to embarrass myself?”

Taeyeon and Sunny looked at each other and seemed to reconsider their demand.

“Ok fine. Instead write her a note. If we approve, we’ll go give it ourselves.”

To Jessica:

Hello ^^

I hope you’ll accept this sandwich. I thought you might be hungry as you haven’t eaten anything this whole lunch. There are no cucumbers in it so you don’t have to worry. Please enjoy it.

Love,

Tiffany

The two short girls nodded and enthusiastically walked over to the older girls, giggling randomly and looking back at their friend who was left along at their table. Tiffany looked on worriedly. Her heart was beating hard and fast, as if going to burst out of her chest. Placing a hand over it to control it, she bit her lips nervously, praying that everything will be fine. The anxiety, the thrill, the uncertainty, the worries, the excitement conflictingly battled each other for dominance in her mind. Taeyeon and Sunny reached the group of freshmen girls and Taeyeon poked Jessica’s arm, calling her name to catch her attention.

Jessica turned around in the middle of chatting with Yuri and faced the two small girls with a gentle polite smile. A flicker of recognition crossed her face before she began to listen more attentively to what Taeyeon was saying. Sunny held her friend’s hand to give her moral support, keeping quiet and observing Jessica’s reactions. But she wasn’t able to see through the older girl’s mask of indifference which grew more static as Taeyeon’s monologue continued. Jessica listened, mildly curious with what was happening. It was news that she was hearing, though good news or not she was not so sure. Her eyes followed Taeyeon’s gesturing hands towards the lone girl sitting across the room, looking at her unwaveringly. Tiffany hid her face behind the curtain provided by her long black hair and distracted herself again by playing with her chopsticks. She couldn’t bear to watch the scene any longer when Taeyeon offered the sandwich and the letter. It was like watching a horror movie, one that makes you stand on the tip of your toes at all times. Tiffany screwed her eyes shut as she mumbled under her breath a mantra of “oh please” and “oh my god”.

“Hey, what’s this? Another love letter?!” A loud voice exclaimed, attracting the attention of everyone in the cafeteria.

Tiffany froze. Oh no. She peeked through from behind her dark barrier and saw Yoona holding the little piece of Tiffany’s notebook paper, the pink paper showing up brightly against the whiteness of the wall in the background.

“Sica-ah, is it not enough for you to have the eyes of all the boys in the school that you are now also seeking the love of girls? Leave some for me man!” Donghae grabbed the letter out of Yoona’s hand and glanced through it. He jokingly wrapped an arm around Jessica’s waist and pulled her up against him. “A little someone’s got it hard for you.”

Jessica scoffed and pushed him away from her lightly. “Gosh Hae, stop talking nonsense. I am not seeking any girl’s love.”

Her voice wasn’t as loud as her friends’ exclamations, but, maybe because the room was silent with everyone’s concentration on the freshmen or Tiffany is just super-aware of everything that Jessica does, the words reached Tiffany’s ears loud and clear.

“I don’t want it,” Jessica took the letter back and handed it back to Taeyeon, pushing the sandwich away as well. She fixed her hair, a habit that she has when she is frustrated, and turned her head slightly to meet Tiffany’s eyes again before finishing her sentence. “Go away.”

It was a stab. Those two words were directed straight at her.  Straight at the heart.And Tiffany felt its full blow.

Taeyeon and Sunny immediately looked at their friend worriedly upon the refusal and hurried back when they saw that she had heard everything, seen everything. And so had everyone else.

Whispers and murmurs filled up the once quiet room and eyes darted back and forth between the lover and the loved. Tiffany hid her head with her hands, her hair covering her face. Uncontrollably, her body started to shake and tears filled up her eyes, threatening to fall down. But Tiffany used the last of her strength to hold herself together for a few last moments, trying to focus instead on the all-too-familiar coppery feeling of the blood seeping out from the bottom lip that had been bitten open.Blood… a bleeding wound should hurt, but Tiffany felt none of its pain. It was the pain in her chest that she felt; it was the only thing that she felt.

Jessica glanced at the broken girl, the girl whose heart she just broke into shards. Some emotions quickly appeared, conveyed by her eyes, but just as quickly disappeared back beneath the emotionless façade. Turning completely around, Jessica walked out of the room, her friends following her, not a second glance spared to Tiffany.

Tiffany did not have to look to see what was happening. Her heart told her the whole story. Her mind repeated it again and again. Was it not enough? She wanted to scream to her mind. Was it not enough to have to go through it once, that she has to keep on remembering it, seeing it, hearing it, feeling it?

Feeling… What exactly did Tiffany feel? Sadness, grief over the loss of something that was never hers from the start. Pain. Anger. Disappointment. Regret. A glint of understanding in the midst of the confusion. And it still remained… of course unbelievably, it still remained; the love.

Taeyeon and Sunny grabbed the girl by the arm from both sides and supported her up. Leaving everything behind, they helped her escape from the probing stares, the pitying looks, the snickers, the bitter world, for a moment. They half-carried, half-dragged the body to their isolated secret hangout place, and allowed the girl to curl up in a corner, hiding away into herself.It was then that she gave up. Lost control. Taeyeon and Sunny stood on either side of the girl, a hand on each shoulder, looking down at her. They glanced at each other, not knowing what to do, what to say, whether to do anything or do nothing. No one could help Tiffany at this moment. At this moment, this was all she needed. Only time could heal this broken heart.A loud wail burst forth from Tiffany’s chest. Sobs wrecked her fragile form. The tears she had been holding spilled over and streamed down her cheeks. And she cried her heart out, pounding her chest that was hurting terrible with clenched fists, her nails painfully digging into her palm. But she didn’t feel that pain; it wasn’t enough to distract her, keep her rooted in the real world. And with every exhale of a shaky breath, she felt lighter, but not a good kind of a released freedom. It was as if she was losing, letting go of the broken pieces of herself, into the void of nonbeing. But for Tiffany, even detaching herself into the sanctuary of her mind did not provide any relief; the memory still haunted her as it always will in her unconsciousness.Jessica’s eyes. Jessica’s smiles. Jessica’s soft voice. Go away.

What just happened? What had she done in the past to deserve this kind of heartbreak? What did she ever do to Jessica to deserve such a rejection? She loved her… love… was it a mistake? Why? Why her? Why her?Why did she have to fall in love with her? It’s her fault for being so pretty, it’s Taeyeon and Sunny’s fault for making her do the dare.

But she’s the one who fell in love. But she’s the one who accepted the challenge. And now she’s the one who’s crying here. It’s her fault. It’s her fault.

Love is not all sweet pink cotton candy, puffy polka-dotted singing mushroom, and colorful fluttering butterflies. This love was like a double-edged knife, destroying all that is near it. A knife that cut open Tiffany’s chest, claws that tore away her little red heart and pulled out all her lungs and intestines, thorns that stabbed the pathetic beating organ until it can beat no more, a stake upon which Tiffany’s empty body hung limply with blood dripping down. Drop by drop. And along with the red rivers went those emotions… happiness, excitement, hope… and, of course, the love. The ‘love’.

She was an empty shell. She felt the emptiness in her body, her heart, her soul. Empty… so what was she now? What is it to live? What is love?

It was all foolishness, her mind answered.It was love, said emptiness of what used to be her heart.

Foolishness. And she was a fool. Tricked into this foolish business called ‘love’ by a called fate. She laughed at herself for being so weak, so foolish, so innocent.Her tears stopped. In the empty silence, she found ‘peace’ within herself, by herself. She picked the pieces of herself up, snapped them back together—mismatched—, wiped away the dust of the past, and stood up complete with a new determinism. Forgive, forget, and forsake. She has forgiven; because she loves her. No more time to regret. No use. She will forget. Or maybe not. First loves are the ones that stay in your heart forever. Forsake; she can leave this behind. Move on. Life moves on, waiting for no one.

Tiffany decided. This was just an obstacle in the path of her life. Jessica is just one event out of millions. She will learn from this mistake, that love is nothing but a bunch of illusionary bullsh*t that people think will make them happy, and move on. But she didn’t know that there was a part of her that was left behind in that moment, something that was lost forever.

Her harmless little crush on Jessica changed her life.Her first love forever destroyed her young innocent heart. Tiffany Hwang was crushed.

~~

The hallway was noisy, crowded, and busy as usual, but it all changed when Tiffany stepped out of the bathroom. She walked away, straight to her destination, with her head held high as if uncaring of the whispers and looks directed her way. Taeyeon and Sunny fell into step on either side of their best friend, forming an invisible barrier like bodyguards would. Gone was the old Tiffany; the one who smiled at all the time, at anyone, at everything. This Tiffany remained indifferent, her face showing no emotion (it was something that she had learnt from observing Jessica for the past two years), no sign that she was feeling anything. Was she even feeling anything anymore?

Was it strength that she was showing? Will she be strong enough to…

The murmurs, whispers, gossip, chatter, insults, all died down. Silence. It was as if everyone was holding his or her breath. Jessica Jung has made her entrance.

An atmosphere of superiority preceded her presence. And Tiffany knew it was her. The familiar click-clank of three pairs of high heels grew louder with each step forward. Tiffany’s eyes moved away from the path she was focused on. Like a magnet, Jessica Jung attracted Tiffany. Jessica took one step forward, Tiffany took one step forward. She was looking at everything but her; her eyes fell onto the older girl. Another step forward, another step forward.  Her face in its usual indifferent state, charisma and perfection surrounding her; she struggled to keep the emotions inside, but like a volcano, they were like magma in an erupting volcano. Clink clank; swish swish. They were now side by side. Tiffany couldn’t help it. She held her breath but the flowery smell of the latter’s perfume perpetrated into her olfactory senses. She tried to control her eyes, but they wandered up to the latter’s high-held face. She did not know when her heart reentered her body, but she felt it beating again, beating for her.

The love was gone, but the love remained.

The moment passed by, ephemeral like the scent of perfume that lingered in the air in her wake.

It was back to the old, the old. Same difference. Tiffany Hwang clenched her fingers into a fist and stiffly took another step away, apart from someone she was never near, and walked on.

Oh, Jessica Jung…