(Flashback)

The first unforgettable memory I had with father was during the time we went to visit grandmother in China. He said that I could hardly remember our trip, but I insisted that I did recall. I could even tell with confidence that it was eleven years ago –or ten. It wasn’t all vague. In fact, it was vivid like it just happened yesterday.

“Is there any reason why you are sad, Eunjoo?” father asked as he tied my shoelaces. He could tell without looking at my face.

“I miss mom.”

Father paused then looked straight to my eyes. “Eunjoo, she’s gone and will never come back.”

As a child, I was expecting for a more elaborate and descriptive fairytale-kind-of-story on how a big bad wolf stole my mom and hid her inside a closet. That was how you broke the news of the child’s mother. Dad was perfectly calmed like she didn’t even exist in his world, but I missed her.

As vivid as it was yesterday, I recalled how I longed for my mother’s embrace. The time I’d dread the most was the day I’d forget the sound of her voice. I couldn’t blame mom for leaving my father. She was competing for my father’s attention. Work.

The company was expanding so it was very crucial for him to track its performance and accomplish certain goals. Father never missed a single occasion, but though he was physically there, his mind wasn’t. He always locked himself inside his office at home and usually returned very late at night. I really never knew much about my father. All I knew was that we were rich at the expense of his presence.

Mom put me to sleep that night. The next day, she was gone.

She never came back.

So my father vowed to never take me for granted lest he’d lose his only daughter as well.

After he was finished tying my shoelaces, we went to the mall to shop for holiday presents. Grandma wanted a new husband, but we couldn’t afford to give what she was asking so we bought her a huge poster of her celebrity crush and a new oven for she loved baking cookies and I loved eating them.

The mall was crowded with last-minute shoppers who were already feeling the holiday stress. Every shop was filled with a festive atmosphere to attract the people. My eyes caught something. I was fascinated by the gigantic lollipop that was displayed outside a shop. So I ran to it without telling my father.

The store offered a variety of candies and chocolates. It was a heavenly sight that I almost drooled.

Then I saw my mom.

She wasn’t alone.

Up to this day, I was denied the right to know why she left us.

(End of flashback)

I was both alive and sleepy.

The ticking of the clock was the only sound that could be heard inside the room. It was already one in the morning yet my mind wouldn’t let me rest. I was lying in bed and staring at the plain old boring ceiling until I finally came to a decision that I’d drink some milk to calm my frustration. This sleep deprivation was probably one of the reasons why I tend to get so moody.

Straight out of the bed, I tiptoed my way to the door and slowly pulled it open. I popped my head out to check if he was there. The hallway was empty. Not a living sound could be heard except for my breathing.

I was convinced that Kris would guard outside all day long. I was wrong. I admired his patience and for keeping up with my mood swings. Everyone certainly had experienced such episodes, but mine just lasted long.

The lights illuminated the way to the kitchen. I grabbed a carton of milk in the refrigerator. On a normal day, I’d get a glass and pour the milk before drinking, but on occasions like this, I’d just swig it. I’d also eat chickens with my fingers when no one was watching.

It was getting eerie so I decided to go back when I heard a familiar voice. I followed the sound and it led to the patio. Kris stood alone with a phone glued on his ear.

His back was facing me yet I felt something strange. I pressed my ear on the dark glass that separated the room from the outside. This was an act of eavesdropping, but who cared. I could barely hear the words he was saying.

“Yes, sir…nothing…search…again…convinced…” Followed by a ghost-like silence then he switched his phone off and stashed it in his pocket.

I panicked because he might accuse me of eavesdropping, although I was eavesdropping. I almost dropped the milk, but caught it with my other hand. I walked as fast as I could back to my room. My heart was beating so fast, I couldn’t sleep for another hour.   

It was Monday-morning. Apparently, I couldn’t muster the strength to get out of bed. But after minutes of tossing, I decided to start the day with a positive mindset and the right attitude despite the fact that I only got a few hours of sleep. I should be given an award for an incredible accomplishment that was being able to drag my body out from this magnetic bed.

The walk to the comfort room seemed far for someone who’d just woken up from a nightmare. Every time I went to sleep after an episode of insomnia, I’d always dream of creepy stuff. Last night, I dreamt of Kris serving a plate filled with fried cockroaches.

I suddenly recalled the memory of him talking to someone at one in the morning.

Who could it be?

I should probably stay out of his business. I had a lot of problems to deal with on my own.

The girl in the mirror could use some pep talk right now. I could see how stressed I was from screaming at Kris for serving a plate of fried and sizzling cockroaches. Speaking of, I hope my monotonous routine wouldn’t be affected by the mere presence of that butler.

Wake up. Eat breakfast. Go to school. Eat lunch. Go home. Eat dinner. Sleep. Repeat.

Boring.

That was basically my everyday life except for a hint of action and drama during kidnap-for-ransom scenes.

Before I went to sleep last night, I was contemplating about the pros and cons of having a butler with you. The cons were: being watched and followed like a stalker the whole day, height gap, draw attentions especially from girls. The pros were: could finally go to the popular ramen shop I’d been craving, no more kidnap for ransom drama, someone would take care of the suitors while I enjoy eating ramen.

Hmmm. Not bad.           

I fixed the ribbon of my uniform before I went out of the comfort room.

“What do you think you are doing?” I eyed him suspiciously as he rummaged my bag. He turned to face me with