Life had been easier for Howon. He was busy, yes, moreover after their first win, Infinite had been the most wanted artist and appeared in many show. His hard work had been payed off. They had been moving from one city to another, one country to another. He was tired as hell, but he was happy, this was the life that he always wanted.

That day was one of rare day of full day break. No woke up in early morning, no performing, no schedule, nothing. They were free, just for two days.

Howon was walking in a crowded street, alone, just enjoying the warm breeze on a spring night, he was wearing his cap and covered it with his hoodie. He enjoyed himself too much, looking at the starry sky, and didn't realize that someone was walking on his way.

Their body colapsed making the other person almost fell onto the hard aspalt if he didn't caught on time.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't look where I was going." he said as he closed his arm to this someone's shoulder.

"It's okay, I didn't too. Sorry." it was a girl's voice.

"You okay?" he asked. He looked up and recognize the face, the face of a girl that he often saw in one coffee shop close to his hair salon. A girl with short bobbed that always there very early in the morning, greeting the early rises costumers with big warm smile.

"Yeah, you?" the girl asked back. Howon only nodded.

"Okay, I've got to go now. Thank you for saving me." she said before bowed her head and left Howon dumbfounded.

It took him a few heartbeat to realize that the girl was already gone in the crowd even before he could asked what her name. But Howon shruged it off with the thought that he would do that the first thing when they meet again.

***

Howon did it, he asked the girl's name and even her number when they met. No, he didn't had morning schedule, but he still came to that coffee shop only to met her. And she really was there, with her heart warming smile.

They have met for a few times already, even if it was just for an hour. Talking and doing anything they had in mind, just to enjoy each other's presence. Now he was waiting for her, like how he usually done.

"Hi." she said as she ran to him. They were supposed to meet twenty minutes ago.

"You're late." he said, looking at her from head to toe. He was still studying her. She was wearing a green hoodie, dark blue jeans, a pair of black canvas converse and a dark grey bennie. It was usual thing people would wear, but he found out that it was cute on her.

"I'm so sorry, the practice was extended because one of my unnies was injured."

"Really? Is she okay now?" he asked.

"Hm, it was only a sprained ankle." she pulled two bottles of cole from her bag, "this is my apology for coming late." she smiled at him.

Howon eyed the bottle, but took it anyway, "my prize is more than a bottle of soda, miss." he said smirking.

"Tch, I'm not buying you, it's just my kindness to apologize to you."

"And you need more than this to get my forgiveness." 

"Fine, then give it back." she was annoyed a bit, trying to snatched the bottle back.

But Howon just laugh, "I was joking."

She squinted her eyes and let out a chuckle. They walked under the night sky on the side walk of Han River, it was late night, and was the only free and most save time he could go out. It wasn't the first time they done this, but Howon still felt nervous walking only two of them like this. A good kind of nervous.

"So, how was the practice?" Howon talked first.

"Like I said, my unnie sprained her ankle. The doctor said she couldn't dance for at least two weeks." she explained, "and I think she is kind of upset."

"Who wouldn't? I would be upset too if I sprained my ankle." Howon commented.

"You shouldn't, what will you do on stage if that happen?"

"We'll do an accoustic and Myungsoo finally can show his guitar skill." he answered calmly.

She only snorted and continue walking in silence. The best thing about walking with her was Howon didn't need to always thinking about what to talked about to make the silence not awkward. They never were awkward around each other, things just gone with the flow and it made him comfort around her. He didn't have to be somebody else, and just be himself.

They stopped walking when he heard something dropped and splashed on the end of his jeans. It was her drink. And this was too, not the first time happened.

The girl just stood there, few steps behind Howon, looking at her bottle.

"Eh he.." she muttered as her eyes followed the bottle rolled and bumped to Howon's shoe. Her face was expressionless.

"It's happening again." he said more like a statement than question.

"Hehe.. Sorry, my muscle's reflect was gone for a second." she sounded guilty but used to this. It happened everytime for her anyway. Dropped something and only looked at it, her hand's muscle tone was a little weak.

"I always wondering how come you become a dancer." Howon .

"Hey, it was't something that I want to. Watch out, mister, one day you'll regret for saying that to me."

"Uuuh, I'm so scared." he continue to teased, she just scoffed but laugh, "I think I'll share my drink for now." he didn't sound annoyed by her, not at all. On the contrary, it was cute, in his eyes.

***

It was another night when Howon was walking home after another walking session with the coffee girl, it was becoming his habit to met her whenever he had free time. And tonight wasn't as late as usual becaue he had to go to Japan first thing next morning. He was standing on the side of a street, waiting for a taxi, when he felt a presence beside him.

A little girl, around two, stood close, looking up at him with pouty lips and rosy cheeks. Wearing a worn out coat, her breathing was visible in the air. It was in the end of fall afterall, the weather was started to get chilly.

"Hi you." Howon crouched down next to her, "what are you doing here alone? Where are your parents?"

The little girl was just pouting more and her eyes started to teary. Howon was panicked, he didn't know how to deal with a kid that was in the verge to cry.

"Hey hey, don't cry. Where's your mom?" he looked around, trying to find someone that lost his or her daughter, or at least a police office.

"There you are! I told you to stay and don't wander around." a young women came to picked up the little girl and now stood right in front of him.

Howon's heart almost stopped as he heard the voice he hadn't heard for a long time. He looked up and stood up slowly. His eyes were fixed on the girl's face, didn't believing of the scene he saw. The women, on the other hand, didn't look at him as she was busy scolding her daughter and wiped her tears.

"Noona.." Howon's voice was just a whisper.

The women stopped what she was doing and turned to him. Her eyes was widened, the shock on her face was visible. Never in her mind she thought to meet Howon again. She didn't even knew where Howon was after he left her that day. They were just stopped talking until one day Howon dissappear.

"Howon.." her voice too, was a whisper. A small whisper that was softer that the wind. For from the usual voice she used when they were highschool.

"She is.." Howon's words trailed.

"My daughter. This is my daughter." she continued.

***

"Howon, focus!" their manager said.

The sound of music blasted inside the room, Infinite was practicing their dance in a rented practice room in Japan. The other member were glancing at him, wondering what was happening to him. They were never seen Howon like this. If there was something that Howon focused the most, it would be his dance. He didn't do any wrong moves, he was just a second faster than the others.

This was new to them, they didn't know what was wrong with him. Howon never told them. He never told tham anything about his past. For him, it wasn't anything to proud of.

"Hyung, let's just take a break for a minute. We've been practicing for a while." Sunggyu said. True, they've been dancing for more than five hours and they were exhausted to bits.

The manager let out a sigh but nodded in understanding, "Okay. But you have to perfected the dance before dawn."

The boys nodded and scatered inside the room. The 99.9% syncronized tittle was a very heavy burden on their shoulder, but still, they were doing their best, and everyone knew it.

Howon sat leaning his back to the mirror as Dongwoo walked to him, gave him a drink and sat beside him. His mind was wandering to his noona ever since he met her again.

"Hyung, what will you do if Yiseul noona comes back?" he said all of sudden.

Dongwoo who was gulping his water, choked as he heard his first love's name mentioned. "What's with the question?" he said rubbing his lips with the back of his hand.

"Just curious. So?"

He tought for a second, "maybe I'll come to her and confess, or maybe not. My mother doesn't really approve her."

"You'll confess? But she left you."

"Maybe, if I still love her when we meet again." Dongwoo said calmly.

"You'll still confess even if she hurt you?"

"Howon, love is about forgive and forget. Everyone have their mistakes, I do, you do, everyone do. Even if you don't realize it. But you don't hold grudge for your loved ones. If you do, maybe, just maybe, you don't really love her."

Howon remained silent.

"Whatever she've done, just forgive her. And if you still love her, forget her mistakes, just take it as a lesson and continue living. Believe me, you'll feel better after you do that." Dongwoo smiled looking at the younger boy.

Howon was still silent and drank his water. His eyes were focused on the bottle like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Forgive and forget, okay?" Dongwoo said as he pat Howon's shoulder. He took Howon's silence as a clue that he needed to think, so Dongwoo left him to join the other boys playing and fooling around.

Howon's mind was trailed to his and his noona's conversation few days ago..

They were sitting inside a tea shop not far from where they met. The beverages on the table were still untouched as they were sitting across each other, the little girl was laying on his noona's side, already sleeping. They didn't say a word, the silence was tense and awkward.

"So.. How's life, noona?" Howon tried to break the ice.

His noona smiled, "fine, how about you?"

"I'm good." Howon answered.

"You've changed." 

"Is that a good thing?" Howon tilted his head.

"Hm. You cut and dyed your hair, you're not skinny anymore, you even getting taller and handsome." she examined him, "and you're a star now. The only same thing is you still wearing glasses."

Howon only nodded awkwardly. He didn't know what to say.

"Where is your husband?" Howon finally said after a silence.

"My husband?"

"Her dad, I mean." Howon pointed at the sleeping girl.

His noona looked to her right, "ah.. I don't have a husband."

"What do you mean?"

"She was an accident, Howon." she lowered his head in shame as she said that. "It was on the graduation day, I think, I don't know, I'm not sure either. The only thing I know was two months after graduation, I found my self pregnant."

"And the father?" Howon didn't want to pried to her past but he was curious.

"He left me when I told him I was pregnant with his child."

"Then why are you here in Seoul, noona?"

His noona just sighed, playing with her tea cup, "my parents disowned me, so I left."

"What about your friends? Are you here alone?"

"They left too, I have no one beside me. So I moved out and start a new life with my baby." she said, caressed the little girl's cheek.

"And what do you do for living?"

"I work in the convinience store in the morning, and at a restaurant in the evening. I left my daughter with an ahjumma nextdoor, or sometimes I have to carry her along. But this naughty kid likes to wandering around." she chuckled.

Now Howon really didn't know what to say. He never expected this would happened to her.

"Howon, I'm sorry." his noona suddenly said.

"For what?"

"For the things I've done to you, for the things I've said. I regret everything." she looked into his eyes.

"Ah, that.." Howon scratched his head as he remembering the past. The last day he talked to her.

"Do you still love me?"

"Huh?" he shot his head up.

"Do you still love me?" his noona asked. "Because I just realize that I like you."