It had been two days since I made my immediate decision, and nothing was going to stop me as I sat on my bed and rethought exactly what I needed to say to make everything normal. I made my way to the front door and walked down the familiar streets, I looked up at the sky it was all I could do to maintain my constant calm heartbeat.

       I reached my destination and did something that didn't quite seem normal for most girls to do as I picked up a rock, it fit nicely in the palm of my hand and that was good as I aimed for the one place I would find him. I threw the rock through Sungkyu's window and waited for him to glare down at me, I waved and he left immediately.

       It wasn't long till he was outside standing in front of me. “Is something wrong? Are you hurt? Why did you throw a rock through my window?” he asked these quickly while inspecting my hand and arm and neck looking for something out of place.

       “No, I'm fine and I needed you attention.” I answered them all and pulled away from him. “We need to talk, now.” I said finally and waited for him to nod and then take me inside. He grabbed my hand and there was nothing I could do as he pulled me along behind him inside and up the stairs to his room.

       “What is it?” it seemed like he wanted to ask more, something like, 'are you and Dongwoo breaking up?' or 'you still love me right?', but he stayed silent and just watched as I sat on his bed.

       “Why do you make life complicated?” I asked bravely, he didn't seem to be expecting that as he thought up an answer.

       “Because,” he paused after that to let me know that he did have an answer. Sungkyu exhaled a deep breath and then sat next to me, he took my hand and looked into my eyes. “You're important, or at least to me you're the most important thing in this world.” he seemed scared as he looked away from me and out of the window. “It's just I've realized that without you I'm just me.”

       He started to lean towards me and I pushed him away. “We're not good for each other, don't you see that?” I said while looking sharply at him and placing my hands firmly in my lap.

       “But when I'm me I'm boring,” he looked up and forced his arms around me to pull me against his chest as he whispered the rest of his sentence in my ear. “Boring and painfully alone,” It was sad and I didn't have a clear enough head to push him away as I let him continue to hold me.

       I was starting to feel bad for him and the tears started to spring as I felt something wet drip down onto the exposed skin on my shoulder. “You scare me,” I wasn't lying, the way he made me feel when he was like this was scary and I wasn't ready to handle this though I thought I was just a few minutes ago.

       He laughed slightly and buried his head in the curve of my neck. “How?” it was simple but how could I answer that out loud, it was quite absurd.

       “You're smile, your small eyes, your open and exposed heart, it's scary that you're so willing to put yourself out there to get hurt with just the smallest hope of acceptance.” It was the truth and there was no denying that. “I makes me want you more but all I want is for it to stop,” I could feel my heart pounding as I reminded myself that I wasn't here to let him know my feelings even though they came out so quickly.

       “Then don't stop, you should want me more than wanting it to stop, I'll show you that there isn't anything to be afraid of,” that's where he lost me or I guess I lost myself. Sungkyu was kissing me and not in the 'I want you back,' way that he had the other night, it was the 'I love you and I'm never leaving you' sort of kiss that I usually got from Dongwoo.

        I couldn't even stop it as I leaned against him, I didn't feel guilty because it felt right, just like it used to when I was with him. That's how things become complicated, I let him push me down onto the bed and from there I couldn't even think about it again.

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