"How is it between you and Taekwoon? Have you met up with him?" Jia asked, nonchalantly stirring the hot liquid in her cup. 


The smile that had been on Rina's face faded away at the mention of his name. Sadness washed over her eyes as they suddenly became rather interested in the hazel-colored coffee in her own white mug. The two sat together in a quiet café, raindrops splattering against the windows. An awkward silence fell over them with Rina having no intention of answering the question asked. 


"Are you really thinking about—not doing anything?" she pressed on, flabbergasted. "You're only hurting yourself by not sorting matters out, darling. Ignoring the problem is not the answer in such a situation."


"Please, stop torturing yourself," the older girl begged. "If this continues, how will you ever be able to move on? No one knows the whole story besides the two of you, and this is affecting everyone. They're tired, Rina-ah, they're all tired. The guilt has been killing Rie ever since the damned boy returned and Shi Hoo can't sleep in peace because of the constant worry—"


"I don't want to remember," Rina spoke up, her voice barely coming out as a whisper. 


Jia stopped her ranting. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her breaths came out shallow. "If you don't resolve it, the only thing that you'll do is remember itself." 


Rina placed a hand over her heart, though she swore that she couldn't feel the drumming beat. "I'm dead already, jie. The pain has subsided and all that is left is this numb feeling everywhere. 


If I risk spending longer than a few seconds with him, I'm afraid of what I'd turn into. His eyes pierce through my soul and I feel in front of him. He knows me too well; I'm scared he'll draw me back in." 


The older girl stood up, walking over to the other side of the table as she brought Rina's slim figure into her embrace. "It'll be okay," she whispered, trying to sound as honest as she could, "I'll be with you no matter what." 


In the corner of her eye, Rina watched as a dry leaf detached itself from the dying wildflower arrangement that she had just come to notice. Suddenly, everything in the seemingly cozy café started to cease in existence. Her head was spinning, a ringing noise bursting her eardrums. She pushed Jia off of her forcefully.


A bloodcurdling scream escaped as she fell to the ground holding her head in pain. The ringing wouldn't stop and she couldn't tell if her eyes were open or closed. 


"Rina! Rina! Oh God, Rina! Rina!" 


Somewhere far away, she could hear her name repeatedly being called in anxiety. She could feel her body being violently shaken as the noises only got louder and louder. The ringing died down but there were other noises. She wanted it to stop, she wanted to scream. When opened, nothing came out; not even a squeak. 


Rina felt herself slipping away from reality and immediately regretted everything she had done in life. Dear the Almighty Father, would you be mad if I said that I don't want to go yet? 


Everything stopped. 


The noises. 


The shaking.


The pain.


The thoughts.


She felt empty.


Is this what death feels like? 

 

It was silent; deadly silent. She slowly opened her eyes, blinking to adjust her vision. 


White.


White.


White.


Everywhere, it was white, and she instantly knew exactly where she was. 


The door opened as the familiar footsteps neared the hospital bed. 


"Y-Yixing," she struggled to say, her voice sounding hoarse and broken. It was then did she realize how dry felt. 


She heard him scribble things down on that clipboard of his with the illegible writing on the back and a coffee stain. The click of a pen soon came afterwards as she felt him supporting her up into a sitting position, her back resting against the uncomfortable backboard. 


The young doctor sent her one of his famous smiles, dimples engraving onto his skin. From the bedside table, he poured her a glass of water before handing it over to her. 


Nodding in gratitude, she downed the whole glass in one shot. The cold liquid made her feel more refreshed and alive. Wiping the excess water droplets that had rolled down her chin, she placed the empty glass down and turned to stare at the handsome physician in front of her. She mustered a smile as a signal for him to continue. 


"You were careless, Rina-ah," he sighed, shaking his head in disappointment as he tapped the pen on his clipboard. "I thought I could trust you to remember, but you didn't. If this continues, something worse might happen to you."


"Don't tell anyone," she snapped with clenched teeth, her eyes fiercely glaring at the man.


Yixing exhaled, his breath shaking from frustration. "How many times has it already happened? Isn't this the 4th time? Rina, I'm putting my whole entire career on the line for you. You can't continue doing this!" 


Rina looked down at her entangled fingers in her lap. She started fiddling with her thumbs, purposely avoiding any further conversation. 


"When will you stop being stubborn?"


"They can't know, Yixing."


He pinched the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes for a few seconds. "I'm no longer saying this as Dr.Zhang, Rina," he started, speaking as soothingly as he could, "you either need to pull yourself together and stop being so reckless or let me tell your family, or at least someone you're familiar with. This is a matter of life or death; you're a special case, darling." 


"I know that," she whispered, her eyes glistening with tears. 


No, she was stronger than this. She was not going to cry. 


Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she looked straight into Yixing's eyes. 


"Yixing, you're not only my doctor but also one of my friends, am I right?" she clarified.


He nodded, his eyebrows creasing in confusion. 


"Then give me the damn medications and shut your mouth."


Shaking his head, he threw the prescription onto the white bedsheets before exiting the room with a sigh. 


Right after he left, Jia barged into the room in a crying mess. Her eyes laid upon the teenage girl which only led to another round of waterworks. Jia threw her arms around the girl as she buried her messy face onto Rina's shoulder, continuing to sob even louder. They stayed like that for a while until her tears had stopped their rapid flow. 


"I-I was so worried," she sniffed, blowing her nose into a tissue. 


Rina cracked a smile; Jia could be such a worrywart at times. "I'm fine, jiejie," she reassured her to make sure she wouldn't turn into a waterfall any time soon. 


Jia nodded. She probably looked like a scary monster with makeup smeared everywhere but that wasn't the important thing. The most important thing was that her little baby was alright. "Love, never scare me like that ever again!" Jia scolded. 


Rina's lips curved into a thin smirk. "I don't make promises that I can't keep, sweetheart." 


With a snort, Jia ruffled up the lass's hair like good old times. "So, what did the doctor say? What was the cause of your—-like collapse?" she questioned. 


"Oh, it was only tinnitus. Yixing said not to worry about it." 


Jia eyed her suspiciously. 


Rina raised an eyebrow. "What?"


"Would tinnitus really cause you to react that way?"


She shrugged. "I guess I just wasn't used to it, but I'm really fine!" 


Shaking her head, Jia decided to brush the matter aside and started to have small conversations to keep Rina occupied. She would have to stay in the hospital for a day for further examinations and that was honestly such a bore to her. Jia had to leave around noon, right when her parents decided to come and check up on her and sign papers. 


The two took their leave after billing matters were settled. 


Now, she was truly bored and she knew that Shi Hoo and Jong Suk wouldn't come till the evening because it was noted as a small matter. Rina blew a raspberry, flicking through the channels on the television. She settled on watching Hannah Montana because there were reruns on Disney Channel. Who wouldn't love watching reruns of things that basically took up their whole childhood? 


From time to time, Rina would smile a little or giggle but there was nothing that actually interested her. 


"God, I'm so bored!" she cried out. 


As if the Father had heard her, the door burst open right after she spoke the words. 7 boys stood in the corridor of the ward and just looking at them from the inside of the room gave her a credit. It took her a while to realize that there was someone else squished behind the two tallest of the group. "Rina!" they yelled, storming into the room all at once. 


Rina cursed under her breath. At that moment, she was really debating on as to whether or not she should just rip the IV drip from her arm to run away. 

Nami timidly stepped out from behind Sungyeol with a large bouquet of flowers held out in front of her. "T-This is from all of us. P-Please don't worry us like that ever again," she stuttered and slurred over her words in a hurry. 

Woohyun flung himself on top of Rina, letting out a loud wail. "I was worried to death!"

"Get off of me, fatass!" Rina yelled, rolling her eyes at the immature boy sprawled on the bed. 

Hoya went over, grabbing Woohyun by the collar and flinging him to the ground(to which Rina was very thankful for). "Woohyun-ah, if you ever want to have children, I suggest you keep your hands off of my best friend." he threatened, a smile on his face throughout the whole exchange. 

Shivers went down everyone's spine; he wasn't kidding. 


Growling, Woohyun jumped up and lunged for Hoya who easily dodged. "Yah, she's my best friend, not yours!" 


Rolling his eyes, Hoya asked Rina, "Who's your best friend: me or Woohyun?"


"You," Rina curtly replied. 


Woohyun let out a loud wail that could have probably been heard from all corners of Seoul. "Rina!!!!" 


 

I.......don't know.
Summer vacation is in a...week. 
Yeah, a week. 
The school year sure does fly by quickly. 
I actually liked this year.
I met some amazing people 
and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

So like, this story is in a mess right now
and I'm not sure how to go about it now
but I'll try my best so please, please
don't abandon me!
Comment some suggestions or just...
anything.
I don't even know why I continue to write this anymore
so....meh.

I might be changing a few things up;
I'm not sure about this story anymore.
I know there are loose ends 
but I've been winging this whole story 
so I don't know how to close those ends. 
Bear with me.

"In all of your ways,
acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."
-Prov 3:6