Soo Jin

I pulled out my sketchbook and sat down. I didn’t know where to start. I’ve never been so stumped on a design like this… I drew a few lines and connected them with squiggles and curves but nothing seemed to turn out right. Finally I drew something that I could call a very rough sketch. I continued to smooth out the edges of my sketch and finished my draft of Ji Hyun’s dress. It was everything she wanted and more. The dress was a one shoulder dress that would fit fairly tight on the body, not too tight. It flared out a little at the bottom. Around the waistline on the right side, it pinched up forming wrinkles around the area. It was simple and purple, what she wanted. I think that making it a one shoulder dress completed it. I pictured her wearing this gown alongside Dongwoon. I knew that I could never be in her shoes, accompanying him to an award ceremony.

-Flashback-

“Soo Jin, we can’t do that,” he strictly told me.

“But whyyyyy? I’ve wanted to go with you since your debut!” I begged him.

“You know why. It’ll catch too much attention and you know what those insane fan girls would do,” Dongwoon turned and faced directly at me.

“Oppa, please. I don’t even have to be near you, I’ll sit at a different table!” I tried to convince him.

“You know the tables are only reserved for idols,” he said.

I frowned.

“You don’t even want this to work!” I retorted.

“Aw, come on, you know I do! It’s just not possible!” his eyes grew bigger.

I turned my back to him. I felt a lump in my throat. I was never allowed to go with him and the other BEAST members to any of their events / schedules. He was too scared of the fangirls finding out about our relationship. There was an award ceremony tonight and BEAST was going to win the male category for some music thing. I wanted to go with them and of course Dongwoon rejects all of my crafty plans.

I sighed.

“I guess I’ll just watch on TV then,” I huffed.

“You know I love you,” he smiled at me.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” I brushed his hand away.

“Don’t be like this Soo Jin. Don’t be upset,” he begged me.

“Wouldn’t you be upset if you were me?!” I asked.

“Well what can I do to make it up?”

“Nothing,” I muttered.

“I’m tired of this,” he told me.

“Tired of what?”

“I’m tired of you getting mad every single time there is an award ceremony or dinner or event involving BEAST that you want to come to but you can’t,” he bluntly said.

“You don’t even care how I feel,” I answered back.

“It’s not a matter of feelings! It’s a matter of our personal security along with protecting our relationship!”

“What if I don’t care about my personal security?” I asked.

“What about our relationship? Do you want that to go down the drain? I wish you would stop being so immature,” he flatly said.

The lump in my throat grew even bigger and skinny tears were sliding down my cheeks.

“I need to get going,” I told him.

“Soo Jin–”

I left before I let him finish.

-End of Flashback-

I looked back down at my sketchpad and saw that the pencil outline fading because of the wet circles that were formed from my tears. I quickly wiped my eyes and dried the sketch. I thought my feelings had cleared but I guess they haven’t.

I closed my eyes and closed the sketchbook. I took several deep breaths, clearing my head.