Dongwoon

“Let’s stop seeing each other. It’s too hard for me. I don’t think I have the courage to stay with you any longer. I’m sorry,” I looked at Soo Jin as tears were forming in her eyes. She turned away so she wouldn’t have to look at me. I swallowed the lump that was hanging in the back of my throat. I wanted to stay strong. I stiffly nodded.

“Then I guess this is goodbye. Take care and don’t get sick. You’ll meet someone who is much better than me, someone who will make you happier than I did,” she went on. “But I want you to know that I really did love you,” tears were trickling down her rosy cheeks.

I wanted to scream at her, tell her that she was the only one who could make me happy. I tried to explain this to her, but I was lost for words. I felt my eyes watering up.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Goodbye Son Dongwoon,” she slowly turned and walk away. I wanted to run after her, but it was as if all the muscles in my body had froze. I couldn’t move.

I watched as her petite frame disappeared. Tears poured out of my eyes after she was out of sight. I sat down on the bench nearby and covered my face with my hands. I sat there crying, just crying.

“Don’t go Soo Jin,” I sobbed.

Soo Jin

As I walked away, tears gushed out faster and blurred my vision. I couldn’t see clearly and I felt as if I was going to run into something. After the last words escaped my lips, I regretted it all. I regretted everything I said to him. But there was no turning back now. I found the bus stop and waited for the bus to arrive. I suppressed my loud sobs so that the quiet bus stop wouldn’t be disturbed by my noisy sobbing. My tears calmed down to silent tears. I buried my face closer into my scarf and felt the cold air hang around my legs, sending shivers up my spine.

When the bus finally came, I dragged myself onto it, scanning my bus card and finding a seat. I sulked the entire way home.

“Soo Jin-ah! How did it go?” my best friend, Mi Kyung greeted me as I walked into our shared apartment.

“Fine. Like all break-ups go,” I muttered quietly.

“Want to go out for some soju?” she asked, trying to cheer me up.

“What use is that? I’ll just have physical pain in my head in the morning. No thanks, the less pain the better,” I said to her.

“Oh… okay…” she turned away. I know she was trying to console me, but I was in no mood to talk to anyone.

I changed into my pajamas and snuggled into my bed. My heart felt empty.

Dongwoon

 “Yah! Do you know how long we’ve been looking for you?” I looked up to see Doojoon hyung standing in front of me.

I looked around and saw that it was dark now.

“Sorry hyung,” I said. I slowly got up.

“Dongwoon-ah, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“My first love is nothing more than a memory now,” I told him.

“Soo Jin b-broke up with you?” he hesitatingly asked

I nodded.

I felt his tight embrace, telling me it was going to be okay.

Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Nothing was important.

I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.