For the first time in a while, Sungmin felt what may have been an inch of thankfulness towards Heechul. Although he was an insufferable bastard a good ninety nine percent of the time, sometimes he had his moments. Maybe Heechul had somehow foreseen that Sungmin would need to give someone a good whipping in the future—and for that, Sungmin almost felt like saying thank you.

Almost. 

“Uh, Sungmin? Where are you going with that whip?” Kyuhyun asked, his wide eyes peering over the top of his laptop, looking quite alarmed.

Sungmin was just on his way out to… speak to Leeteuk and see what he could pry out of his leader. The whip would make him crack eventually. “Oh I’m just going to have a little talk with Leeteuk.”

“And you need a whip,” Kyuhyun deadpanned.

Sungmin smiled jovially.  

“What, uh…” Kyuhyun said, scrunching his face up in thought, “what exactly do you need a whip for?”

Sungmin ran his fingers over the leather. “Information. I’m going to find out why everyone’s acting so weird around me lately.”

Kyuhyun had never moved quite as fast as he did when he leaped up from the bed to grab Sungmin’s arm. “No—no you’re not.”

Kyuhyun was looking awfully pale, Sungmin noted.

Sungmin cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “And why should I not?”

“… because I need your help.” Kyuhyun had exactly zero ideas where he was going with this but he couldn’t let himself get exposed. Kyuhyun had planned out his death—and in his last hours he would be sitting in a bed, drinking wine and playing Starcraft. Getting whipped to oblivion wasn’t on his to-do list.

“With?” Sungmin interrogated, his eyebrows lifted in appeal.

Kyuhyun paused, racking his brain for anything useful. “W-well,” Kyuhyun said, mentally slapping himself for stuttering. Cho Kyuhyun does not stutter, even  in the face of danger. “You see I have this math problem in my school textbook that I totally have to figure out and-“

“Kyuhyun,” Sungmin interrupted, his face stony.

“Yes?” Kyuhyun squeaked.

“You graduated from school five years ago.”

“... So I did.”

There was an awkward silence between them; neither knew what to say. Eventually, Sungmin just shook his head and exited the room.

Kyuhyun squealed in his throat like a little girl. He didn’t want to stop him, because if Sungmin caught on that Kyuhyun was very well informed about what was going on, he wouldn’t hesitate to use that whip against him.

If he did tell him the truth, he’d just get whipped to death. He figured he could possibly make some excuse, but if he failed he’d be on the receiving end of that absolutely horrifying instrument of torture. Kyuhyun couldn’t just sit there and wait, so he did the only logical thing he could think of: climb out the window.

Kyuhyun stepped carefully onto the fire escape, not daring to look down. He was at least ten floors down, and the wind wasn’t helping him feel any more secure. Kyuhyun ducked and crawled to the window of the next room, thanking Leeteuk for sleeping in the room next to his.

Kyuhyun poked his head up and eyed the situation.

He couldn’t hear anything, but Sungmin’s back was facing him, and Leeteuk looked a mix of horrified and guilty. The horrified part was, with no doubt, because of the whip Sungmin was methodically slapping against the ground. The guiltiness… well, Leeteuk always looked kind of guilty any way.

Kyuhyun positioned himself in the middle of the window and shook his head slowly, trying to catch Leeteuk’s attention. He noticed this from inside and jumped in surprise when they made eye contact. Kyuhyun raised both his arms up and formed a cross, his head still shaking from side to side. Sungmin seemed to notice Leeteuk’s wavering attention and snapped around. Kyuhyun ducked as quickly as he could, but he wasn’t sure if he’d been seen or not. He turned around and face his back to the wall, glancing out into the skies, biting his lip in fear.  

Kyuhyun’s pleas were not heard that day. The window rolled up behind him, and Kyuhyun shut his eyes for a moment, wishing it would all go away.

“Kyuhyun,” Sungmin said, looking down at the curled up blob.

“Yes?”

“What’re doing?”

“Nothing.” Kyuhyun decided that saying he was doing nothing was a bit of a weak response, so he attempted to up his game. “Except, oh, you know… checking the clouds! Yeah. For the weather. Mm. Aren’t they fabulous today?”

Sungmin said nothing for a second, his mouth gaping open. “There’s a thing called, oh, you know," he mocked, "the weather forecast. Which, incidentally, is accessible from your computer which you never seem to leave.”

“You can never trust the weathermen, the sneaky bastards. ‘S better to check out the clouds, y’know, old school style.”

There was a pause in which Sungmin’s brain clicked, and he realised just why Kyuhyun was being so fidgety. “You know something,” he accused.

“NO I ABSOLUTELTY DO NOT I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT NO.”

Sungmin scoffed, “yes you do!” He began to climb out the window, ready to attack Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun was too fast.

Kyuhyun leapt back to his room so quickly, not even sparing a glance at the charming pavement below, that he even scared himself. He wondered if he was supposed to be a superhero. Part time Cho Kyuhyun, super fabulous singer, part time The Kyu-inator, saving cities by night.

Kyuhyun whacked his forehead, getting his mind back on track. This wasn’t the time to be having super hero fantasies—it was time to save his life. Kyuhyun locked the window and door, backing away from the furious Sungmin who stared at him through the window, his eyes crazed, cheeks red, and hair sticking up at unusual angles that Kyuhyun was quite impressed by, actually.

Sitting on his bed and opening his laptop, Kyuhyun only hoped that Sungmin hadn’t learned how to smash through windows or kick down doors in his martial arts classes.  

For now, he would just have to see how long he could last without leaving his room.