[Baekhyun’s POV]

“Don’t apologize, baby, don’t ever. I am sorry.” Chanyeol said as he had pulled me into a tender, caring hug. Those words – and his hands as well - sent shivers down my spine, but I had to keep from showing that. I had mentioned before that I had a thing for his anger, especially when it was something like this. It scared the hell out of me, probably because he had hurt my back pretty badly this time – but he was taking care of that, which was one of the sweetest things ever – but on the other hand, I felt so… protected by him. He seemed to only become angry if things happened to me. And adding that to the fact that he kept calling me baby lately… I didn’t even know if I was supposed to think of everything he did as more than friendly, but it made me feel warm and loved all the same.

“I miss you, Yeollie-yah.” I mumbled, my face buried in his chest and the warmth of his large hands on my back. I didn’t know why I said it at that moment, because I had been missing him since day one that we had gone our separate ways. I just felt the need to get the words off my chest, I needed him to know how I felt because he was so protective over me.

“I miss you too, Baek.” he whispered, lowering his head to the point where his lips were next to my ear. Neither of us cared about the fact that we were like this in public, we were just… showing our affection towards a friend. Though I was starting to think it was more than just that. “Can we… sort of meet up today after work? To make up for the last few weeks? Tomorrow’s my day off…” I blushed a bright red at his words, but of course he couldn’t see that. He was already talking about tomorrow… was he having plans with me for tonight then? But on the other hand, I had to shrug those thoughts off because we had often slept in the same bed before, as friends. This wasn’t going to be a big deal – of course I had already agreed.

“Yes that’s a good idea.” I hoped my voice wouldn’t be wavering because that would have probably given away the fact that I was actually nervous about inviting Yeollie, for the very first time.

“Good. Because I want to talk to you about the whole Kai situation.” A knot formed in my stomach, why did he have to bring up that name… “We should get back in, right? They are probably waiting for us by now.” I nodded, though absentmindedly and not really willing to give up the only time I had spent alone with Chanyeol in such a long time.

“Hm. Sure.” I said, silently adding the words ‘because I’ll have you to myself for the whole of tonight and tomorrow anyways’ in my head. Tomorrow would be Saturday and any other Saturday, Jongin wouldn’t have a free schedule, but since we started the cooperation with Kris’ company today, both were given one day off to adjust tomorrow. We headed back in, though we met Kris on the destined floor and were sort of stopped by him.

“Yixing is currently taking the two of them to vocal training and from what I’ve seen… They’re not working really well together, but we have to try to work this through. Would you mind waiting for a bit here in the waiting room? Maybe we can discuss a few points because there are some things about Yixing that I am not sure about.” Kris spoke formally, though he didn’t have any reason to because the both of us were younger and of less importance than he was.

“Of course, let me try to answer the questions about Yixing that I can.” I said, using the same formal tone to speak to him as he had used. I wondered why he would want to talk about Yixing, but my bigger concern was about Jongin and Kyungsoo; if they weren’t working well together, then how could this work out? Kyungsoo would probably get harassed like no tomorrow and Jongin… was likely to break down. But I wasn’t allowed to think of those two any longer since Kris had already started our conversation.

“For instance… Has he ever told you why we had gotten on such bad terms?” I thought for a while and nodded slowly, remembering some words about Yixing spotting Kris with someone else – they were ‘eating each other’s face’ as he had called it – while the two of them were dating back in the day. He had told me when he was purposely getting drunk in his office, not knowing I was still there too. Then, when I had come in, he had spilled that bit, though he had fainted before I could hear him out about it. I guessed it had happened not too long before then, because he looked so broken.

 

[Jongin’s POV]

My head was spinning uncomfortably. I looked up at D.O, whose name turned out to be Kyungsoo. My rules were broken now. I wasn’t supposed to know his name, to know what he looked like, how he sounded when he spoke… I knew everything now, I knew he was a shy little boy instead of the handsome, confident man I had imagined him to be. I was afraid that everything I had been working towards, was going to crash down any second now, because I didn’t have my purpose for living anymore.

“Don’t think it’s that easy. You better not act as if you know anything about me, D.O.” I got up from the ground and startled him when I walked too close, making him stumble backwards against one of the walls that had no mirrors. However, before I could make any nasty remark – which I would be regretting later on anyways – he stopped me.

“Stop that. Please… Just stop that.” His eyes were cast down when he said it, the blush evident on his cheeks. Something in his defensive, though hesitant behavior, made me feel that sincerity of D.O’s lyrics. Maybe this was the same person, even if I didn’t want to believe that. I hated how I was crumbling down these past few days, I hated that I couldn’t keep up what I had been able to do for years now. I clenched my fists and turned around, away from him.

“Fine. We’ll work together.” I walked to the other side of the practice room that I had practically made mine ever since I got into the company – it felt foreign to me now. Some intruder was here, telling me not to back out even if he didn’t know the things he had done to me from the first song he brought out. The door burst open, disturbing the already non-existent peace in the room, revealing my boss rather than my manager, who I had wanted to apologize to. Making me realize I had called him hyung, something I had wanted to do for a long time now, something that made the corners of my lips twitch upwards the slightest bit.

“Jongin, you better get your together, right now.” I didn’t want to lash out on anyone again, so I kept my mouth shut for the time being about him calling me by that name. “You and Kyungsoo-ssi will be practicing vocals later this afternoon, so just…” Yixing trailed off.

“It’s Kai. What time do we have to meet?” I asked Yixing, though I looked at Kyungsoo for no obvious reason. His gaze was averted and I wondered why he didn’t make eye-contact with either of us. Though that thought only lasted for a short time before I got my answer.

“It’s not like you’re going anywhere, Kai. You’re staying here until I think you can go home again, I’m fed up with you doing whatever you want all day.” I kept my face straightened, even though he was saying things that destroyed the slight good mood that had settled itself in my mind. Well of course, the words he said were bringing back the part in which I had kissed Baekhyun, the shocked look on his face – and everyone else’s, though they didn’t matter to me. “As a matter of fact, let’s start that vocal training right now. If you could follow me too, Kyungsoo-ssi.” He gestured to Kyungsoo in a friendly way and I wasn’t going to lie, they made me feel left out even though Yixing and myself had been talking without involving Kyungsoo before.

“Yes, of course.” his reply came. A weird feeling of disgust was turning my stomach, why was he like this… One moment – when I had been alone with him – he had been so insecure and shy that he couldn’t even look at me, the next, his voice sounded so much stronger and more confident that I wasn’t even sure if this was the same person. I disliked it highly that one could change so suddenly and because of that, I was even more determined to keep up my attitude, the one thing that had saved me before.

We got into the small studio used for vocal practicing and the instructor tensed up immediately when he saw my face. I rolled my eyes, annoyed by the way I was treated by everyone. Not surprisingly, we were given some theories on a sheet of paper, which was the way I always got my vocal training and also the reason why nothing ever improved about that. I didn’t pay a lot of intention to Kyungsoo’s introduction to the guy who couldn’t stand my presence, I believed his name was Lee Jinki. They talked for about ten minutes and for that whole time, Yixing kept his glaring eye on me.

“Yixing… What’s wrong?” I asked, though I sounded slightly less annoyed than I thought I would.

“You shouldn’t talk to me like that, Jongin. You know what’s wrong? That you do all the things you do, what if you lose Baekhyun as your manager because he can’t handle all of this? He has been the best I have seen, if I’d lose him, you’re to blame and I won’t push aside the thought of firing you very quickly, so you better think before you act next time.” With that, he left the three of us, but given that Lee Jinki didn’t like me, never had and never would, he left as well, passing Kyungsoo over in my care – or probably the other way around. I hated Yixing’s words, they had hurt me even more than I would want to admit because I already felt so bad about hurting Baekhyun and he just had to rub it in even more.

“Let’s start then.” I said, looking the other way as I picked up the sheet of paper with some simple warming up practices. I wondered why he kept giving me those, instead of techniques – if he’d rather not see me at all to give me the actual training. We started the warming up, even though I could see that this was way below Kyungsoo’s level. Of course, he was a singer, I, on the other hand, was a rapper and besides the warming up, singing was a no-go for me, since I had never learned how to do so.

He began practicing some songs because I had told him to go ahead since I couldn’t do it anyways. I hated hearing him use that voice, that warm voice full of emotions and soul, even though we had only just started. I was grateful that he didn’t sing any of his own songs though, because then I would have probably burst into tears, seeing and hearing him sing live, his own music… that would have been too much.

“Jong… Kai-ssi.” he called out after about three minutes of singing. I realized I had to snap out of a daze because I had been in one and looked into his eyes. It was a bad move to do so, but I couldn’t exactly turn it back around again. “You’re crying.” At first, I didn’t even register what he said. I just blankly stared at his face because his voice sounded so soft and sweet after that heavy, thick voice he had used only seconds ago to sing a rather powerful ballad. But then I heard what he said. I was crying. I smirked and walked towards him, realizing I had to stay in my role if I wanted to survive D.O being in the same room as I was. I stood right in front of him and this time, I didn’t wait long enough for him to tell me to stop again. I placed one of my hands on his cheek, which was – not surprisingly – very soft to my hand, and I lifted his face to make him look at me. An overwhelming feeling of confidence took over my being again, telling me just why I always did this when I felt threatened.

“Kyungsoo-yah~” I leaned closer to his face, seeing those cute, soft cheeks reddening. I needed this power over people, I needed it to keep on going if I was falling like I was right now. “Don’t stop singing.” I whispered in his ear before I heard him swallow hard. He continued either way, though his voice was trembling more than before and I could see he had become nervous. A wave of guilt washed over me, but I knew I wasn’t nearly ready to let it go.

They’ll all take advantage of me once they know how weak I am… They will walk all over me, tell me what to do, boss me around and eventually kick me out. What’s more, if Kyungsoo won’t accept me the way I am, I will get hurt and since Sehunnie… I just can’t let it happen again. D.O, please help me through this… let me listen to your music… Though… D.O… is standing here in front of me, singing for me because I told him to, being scared of me because I made him. Kai, I hate you… 

 

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