REVIEW
Saving Forever For You...
Story Title]: Saving Forever For You
[Story Link]: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/29203/saving-forever-for-you-jonghyun-key-minho-onew-shinee-siwon-taemin
[Author]: Starwits
[Main Characters/Pairings]: Jonghyun {SHINee}, OC, Siwon {Super Junior}
[Rated]: None
[Reviewer]: ll0vex3_her @ Star Bright Designs
[Site]: http://star-brightdesigns.blogspot.com/
[Story Link]: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/29203/saving-forever-for-you-jonghyun-key-minho-onew-shinee-siwon-taemin
[Author]: Starwits
[Main Characters/Pairings]: Jonghyun {SHINee}, OC, Siwon {Super Junior}
[Rated]: None
[Reviewer]: ll0vex3_her @ Star Bright Designs
[Site]: http://star-brightdesigns.blogspot.com/
Title: 3/5
The title's emotion was there, it's sweet yet sad at the same time. Because from the title, I am able to grasp what is about to happen, and how the plot is going to be like. I'm pleased with your title as it matches the sad-sweet-love mood.
Poster(If there is one): 4/15
There are many different "posters" for every chapter. Although it's the same girl, which I concluded it is used to represent how's the OC's feeling, I can't really say I'm happy with it. Because there are many different emotions in one chapter, and the so called "poster" are merely graphics. I recommand you to go to Star Bright Designs or other websites and request for a poster. You can request for a poster for each chapter, it is managable.
Description: 6/10
Nice description, there are small careless mistakes, take care of your spelling. Overall, not that bad. However, I do trust that you are able to describe it better. You can write it in another way, better suspension to grip the readers.
Example:
When your first love left you, will you wait till it comes back, even if it might never be your's again, even if it has changed?
He promised to come back, she promised to wait. However, when waiting turns into a burden, when he seems to have broken his promise, can she continue the blind wait for him? Or will she simply give up like this?
She believes he will come back, yet when everything takes a U-turn in her life, can she still continue her beliefs? Or will her hopes be shattered and crushed?
Forward: 5/10
I like the way you placed the sentence and differentiate the colour so its clear to us who said it.
Character descriptions (only if have one): 4/10
None. I have a question though. You didn't decribe any of the characters, even when you listed them out. So, why did you say that you are going to keep Jonghyun's character a secret when all of their characters were well, totally unknown to all of us?
Plot: 23/45
A typical love story. Its always either the girl or the guy waits for each other as the other one have to leave because of their parents, or other things. Then when he/she comes back, the person waiting would be so happy that he/she's back, and also angry that they have to wait so long for the other party, and why they didn't contact, at all. It always happen like this that its starting to get boring, however, reader's still love to read such stories as they hope to see different twists and endings. However, the main guy leaving the main girl because she wants him to finish his studies, and through the heartbreak, the main girl slowly accepted the other main guy as boyfriend, once again, its something really typical. Then the main guy would come back and both guys fight for one girl, and in the end, always there's one who will give up. Trust me, this is very typical. Even drama's have such storylines.
However, if you use your imagination and think even deeper, which means, you cannot use the plot that other used. Your twists must be different to make readers get even more gripped on. Like you can say, the ending. Who will the main girl choose in the end? Or maybe, she could simply stay single.
You have to place yourself in such situation, put yourself in all 3 characters shoes. You have to learn to understand their feelings, how they would feel like. Imagine it. Then, make the plot as interesting as can be. Like, for example, I wouldn't recommand you to put in accidents or disappearing and whatever, really, that's what everyone uses isn't it? Use something else, it doesn't have to be unique. No, it can be like everyday life, so simple, nothing more, yet, its what touches the heart of the readers. Try it, you'll be able to see the improvement.
Writing: 22/40
Your writing style is not bad, you write everything out. However, I would like it if you placed even more effort to describe their feelings, their actions and almost everything that is connected to them. How they move, sometimes is also very important to be written out, or else you will only leave your readers in confusion as they tries to imagine how the action is suppose to be and how the emotions are supposed to be felt.
Spelling/grammar: 16/25
Apart from a few careless spelling mistakes, which is unavoidable to most writers that I shall skip through, overall its ok. However, take note of how you phrase your sentence, and take note of when and where to place your commas, question marks, exclamation marks, and even your full stop. All this is able to determine how well your story is going to be. I would ask you to try re-reading your own story, correct all your spelling mistakes, understand where are the part/sentences that sound wrong and corrects them. This will pull up your marks and your story would be even better.
Chapter titles (only if have titles): 4/10
I don't mean to be mean, but! The titles are indeed boring. Yes, it has to be connected to the chapter you are writing, however, too direct = too obvious, before readers read the chapter, they could have already guessed what happened, and when that happens, readers will lose interest to read that chapter, thus some of them would skip many parts.
Ending (only if completed): /20
None, don't worry, I won't count the marks in.
Rated scenes (only if rated): /10
None, don't worry, I won't count the marks in.
Total: 110/170
Criteria: B
Criteria: B
Comments