After a week of mindless debating on my part, I finally gather up the courage to create a mass email to the people in my office.

The email I write has enough of a light and fun undertone that I don’t think it sounds like I’m desperate and bored or trying to hook a certain someone.

I anxiously stare at the email and slowly move my mouse up to the Send button…I hover…oh can I actually hit that button? If I click that button then everything becomes real…I have to face that I am trying to spend a few hours with Yunho in a bar….

I shut my eyes and keep them closed, tightly. I take a deep breath and….click.

I open one eye and watch as the message hits “outbox” then disappears, as it is sent off through the tunnels of hyperspace and virtual reality.

Anxiously, I almost expect a dozen instant replies: NO WE WON’T GO TO THIS!

How completely unrealistic; in 3 seconds after I email it, I wouldn’t receive dozens of replies.

Somehow I get through to the end of the day without being manic obsessed over my email inbox. At the end of the day I finally give in to my curiosity and check my email.

“Oh my God…” my eyes widen. A huge smile breaks across my face: there are replies!

I remember to stay calm. I glance over the list of unread emails; there are 6 replies. I riffle through them; 2 are declines but the other 4 are acceptances!

My excitement grows until I completely read one of the declines. I feel a rock of ice fall into the pit of my stomach. It is a decline from Yunho.

Irrationally, I feel this urge to cry. I sit there, taking deep breaths, until the urge passes. I shrug it off and log off my computer.  

On the bus ride home I keep thinking to myself that I should just give up. I should just go buy a bunch of cats and become the crazy cat lady.

The next week, before the get together, I spend it swaying between sadness and anger. I am angry at myself for trying something I knew full well wouldn’t work out. I am sad because it didn’t work out.

Anyway, enough of that… The week itself goes by quickly and Friday evening arrives. I consider not going to the bar but then realize it would be odd since I was the one that had organized it.

I tie up a few loose ends and log off my machine. I make my way out and arrive at the bar to make sure my reservations were carried out properly.

I sit down at a table and order a beer. I wait. Half way through my first beer a few people trickle in. In no time at all there is a big group of my office coworkers. Beer pitchers and all sorts of drinks are scattered on the tables; laughter and chatter heard all around.

The night itself goes well. The hours pass by with ease, either because I am having fun or because I am drinking beer as if it is water. Whichever one it is, I barely notice when I slip away from the realm of the sober.

I spend most of my time talking to a few coworkers who have cubicles near mine. We claim a spot in front of the bartender. We engage in small talk, you know the sort: Oh did you see that article about that guy, did you watch that movie, and have you heard that song…

The beer makes me a bit quick to laugh so I giggle at things I probably wouldn’t have giggled at in a sober state. All in all, I’m pretty okay, as long as I don’t try to make any sudden movements or walk too far, hah!

I do my best to not think of Yunho or to dwell too much on WHY I am even here to begin with and WHY everyone else is here. I just keep myself busy with the small talk and the glorious beer.

Out of nowhere, I hear a big loud cheer from near the door. My group and I look over but can’t see what the commotion is. The crowd moves in gentle waves as the newcomer tries to make a path to the bartender.

Suddenly the crowd parts in half. In my hazy mind it reminds me of Moses parting the waters…was it Moses? Point being, the crowd parted in a really….interesting way. From the shadows emerges a tall figure.

I look up into the brown eyes of Yunho.