“Hyung, look, it’s snowing!” Sehun calls out from the counter, pointing at the frosted window of the café.

  Both Jongdae and Minseok turned almost instantly at Sehun’s call. It took them a moment to differentiate the frost on the window to the pureness falling from the clear sky outside. Joy lighted on all three of their faces, for they had been anticipating the final snow of the year to fall for some time.

  Winter came especially early this year, but snow did not follow the lowering of the temperature. The winds became brisk, chilling to the bones. Most people would rather stay in the comfort of their own houses; some others enjoyed the warmth in the small café.

  Unlike summer, their customers ordered more hot beverages to warm their body against the cold winter. Of course, there are still some that enjoys taking their drinks cold in an even colder weather. The exact same logic as to how people enjoys ice cream in the winter, something that Jongdae secretly enjoys as well.

  “It seems that today will be a wonderful day,” Minseok laughs, his voice boisterous as he grinned at the next customer in line after winking at Sehun.

  Perhaps it’s the festive season coming up soon, but this time Sehun didn’t roll his eyes in return to Minseok’s painfully obvious flirts. The usual monotone Sehun that always held a stoic expression laughed in pure bliss this time, mischief twinkles in his eyes.

  “Minseok-hyung,” Sehun calls out, his cheeks tinged lightly in pink as he tries to look as apathetic as possible, “You said you’ll bring me to ice-skate, you will hold to that promise, right?”

  To say that Minseok’s overjoyed is probably an understatement, Jongdae chortles as he watches the cherubic older male whoop in happiness, “Of course, Sehun! This coming Friday seems like a good time.”

  Sehun doesn’t reply him, but the edge of his lips quirked into a soft smile as he turn to return to making his drinks. Minseok beamed in utter happiness, his eye smiles seems to infect everyone else in the small, cozy café. Jongdae finds himself feeling much happier than how his day had started.

  “Jongdae-hyung, is Lu Han-hyung not coming today?” Sehun snuck up close to him when they are both handling the drinks and asks in a hushed tone.

  “I’m not sure,” Jongdae shook his head slightly with a shrug, the smile on his lips drooping lightly as if he isn’t that happy anymore. “Why are you asking me that though, I don’t know Lu Han’s schedule.”

  Sehun gives him a look that makes him feels strangely uncomfortable, but he couldn’t explain in what ways. Jongdae could only blink in utter confusion when Sehun gave him a sigh and a shook of his head in reply.

  Jongdae doesn’t think much about Sehun, his eyes glancing onto the clock on the wall, his brows subconsciously furrowed. Lu Han’s late. Lu Han always come to the café on time every day; Jongdae wonders why he isn’t here today.

  Sehun shoots another glance towards the seemingly frustrated Jongdae. Minseok glances over once as well, both of them clear about why Jongdae’s happiness suddenly evaporated. Sehun rolls his eyes in exasperation while Minseok chuckled lightly to himself.

  The bell to the door tinkled, Jongdae shot his head upwards in anticipation, only to furrow his brows further in disappointment. It’s not Lu Han.

  “What’s with that expression upon seeing me, Jongdae?” Joonmyeon’s gentle voice rang with amusement, raising a lone brow as he watches the changes of expression of Jongdae. He couldn’t say he’s very close with this employee of his, but they had met a few times for Joonmyeon to know that Jongdae’s a good person, “Am I such a disappointment?”

  “J—Joonmyeon!” Jongdae stuttered out, blushing terribly. He had never been a good speaker (the exact reason why his teachers never placed him on the debate team), but somehow the friends that he made all have sharp tongues to go with their wit.

  “You’re expecting someone,” Joonmyeon chuckles, waving away the apology that Jongdae’s spluttering past his lips. It’s not a question; it’s something that he could tell as he observes Jongdae.

  “I—I’m not,” Jongdae shakes his head meekly.

  “Jongdae-hyung is definitely waiting for someone,” Sehun mouths from behind Jongdae, eliciting a chuckle from Joonmyeon.

  “Jongdae—” Lu Han skids in out of a sudden, only to tumble over when he couldn’t stop himself from his momentum and crashed into the counter. Minseok and Sehun burst out laughing at the whole incident while Jongdae’s stuck between biting back a laughter and worrying over him.

  Lu Han couldn’t find himself to response with his usual cheeky grin though. He doesn’t seem to be able to feel the pain that’s throbbing in his left arm. He doesn’t even seem to be able to acknowledge the presence of anyone else.

  “…Lu Han,” Joonmyeon blinks, the Chinese male’s name tumbling out of his lips before he could help himself, “It’s been a while.”

  “J—” Lu Han’s throat seems to constrict, and he found himself unable to finish his sentence, “Joonmyeon.”

  The trio – Jongdae, Sehun and Minseok – stares dumbly at the two of them. Sehun blinks as he stares at the duo before him before turning to glance at Minseok and Jongdae, not knowing how or what to react. Minseok’s brows furrowed for some reason Sehun couldn’t comprehend.

  Of course, Sehun’s much more worried about Jongdae. He is young, but he isn’t clueless about certain things of life. He may have not experienced certain emotions before, but Sehun knows it when he sees it. Jongdae and Lu Han, Sehun is certain that there’s something different about them; definitely.

  “Um—” Sehun’s barely able to say anything before Minseok drags him away. He’s bewildered, partly because he really couldn’t comprehend the current Minseok at all. Of all the times they’ve been together, he had never seen such a side to Minseok; the elder’s brows deeply furrowed as if in deep thoughts and worries.

  Jongdae blinks twice, unsure on how to react at all. Joonmyeon and Lu Han… They know each other? For some reasons, he couldn’t apprehend the emotions rising within him. He had never felt such strongly this way before, as if in fear of losing something important to him.

  “J—Jongdae, the usual,” Lu Han stutters out. Standing awkwardly as he looks away from Joonmyeon, Lu Han suddenly realize that after all those years, he really did not expect to meet him again.

  “Jongdae, get me an iced latte,” Joonmyeon smiled, but his smile isn’t gentle and warm like usual. It’s filled with a kind of soft sadness. “Count it on me.”

  Jongdae nods slowly, averting his eyes to look at some other place, though his gaze falls upon Lu Han no matter how hard he tries not to look at him. Jongdae couldn’t understand the emotions surging within him. He really doesn’t like the current turmoil he’s going through right now, because for some uncomprehend-able reasons, he’s feeling strangely annoyed.

  Irritated; Jongdae concludes that he’s feeling irritated. He forces a smile to no one and goes behind the bar to make the two drinks for Lu Han and Joonmyeon. From his peripheral vision, he could see the two of them standing side by side, but no one seems to be talking at all.

  “Ouch,” Jongdae hisses lightly to himself, clutching his wrist in agony. He hasn’t been focusing about what he’s doing, the very first time that he had ever lost focus when he’s making a drink. The expresso shots are scalding and instantly his fingers are sore red.

  Biting his lips to resist the pain, he finishes the drinks as quick as possible and passes it over to them. He doesn’t want to see them before him anymore. Jongdae doesn’t know why he feels like crying, but he really doesn’t want to see both of them anymore.

  “Jongdae, your finger—” Lu Han calls out. Noticing the redness of Jongdae’s fingers, Lu Han’s sharp eyes catching on faster than Jongdae is capable of hiding them.

  “I’m fine,” Jongdae quickly says. He hides his hands behind his back, forcing a smile upon his countenance. “I’ve got customers to tend to.”

  He escapes faster than Lu Han and Joonmyeon can calls out to him and disappears to the back room, surprising both Sehun and Minseok. Giving them a weak smile, he ushers the two back to the front, giving the excuse that he just needs a quick rest.

  The moment everyone’s out from his sight though, Jongdae realize it’s really impossible to hold back his tears at all.

  “I did not expect to see you here, of all places,” Lu Han’s surprisingly the first to cut through the tension between them.

  “How long has it been,” Joonmyeon chuckles softly, “Perhaps going on four years now?”

  “Three years and seven months,” Lu Han mutters. Only now then he realizes how much he remembers, how much things he really does take account into. He had thought that from the moment they parted, he slowly came to lose count of the date and time that passed by.

  “How is—how is he?” Joonmyeon asks after a moment of hesitation.

  “How is who?” Lu Han asks knowingly, his gaze turning cold. Years ago they had been friends, close friends. Years later now, Lu Han could no longer say the same at all. They had not parted on good terms, because Joonmyeon left before anyone could even say their goodbyes to him. “I didn’t think you’d still remember him.”

  Joonmyeon’s gaze flickered with sadness and perhaps tears. He had not expected Lu Han to use such a cold tone with him, but he understands that it’s bound to happen. Between them, there had been too many things. A soft sigh past his lips as the image of the male he had forced himself to forget for all these years resurfaced once more, “How is Yifan?”

  “…After you left without leaving anything behind, Yifan left too.” Lu Han sighs. He could still remember the day well. Joonmyeon’s departure came as an utter surprise, but somehow he thinks Yifan had been expecting it. “I never knew where he went to until a few days ago.”

  Yifan had been so broken, something that Lu Han had never seen before and never wants to see again. Wu Yifan is the closest brother Lu Han could never have. Back when they had first step into the solid ground of Korea, they could only depend on each other.

  Over the years, they overcame everything together; the friendship that they already had back in China only strengthened. Yifan always had a sharp, clean look. People often compliment of how beautiful Lu Han is, but Yifan is like the lotus that blossoms from the mud, crystal clear.

  He’s the silent type; his charisma wins over any words. Between them, Lu Han’s the hyperactive one, but Yifan’s the observant one. Between them, Lu Han’s easy-going, but Yifan’s uptight. He has a natural flair to lead; he’s naturally a strong person both in mentality and physical.

  Lu Han really, really dislike the look of weakness on Yifan’s face that day, even if momentarily. It doesn’t suit Yifan, to look so lost and so broken. He had never looked that way before, not even when they first arrived in Korea. At that time, both of them held certain fears for the uncertain future that lay out before them.

  Even then, Yifan had kept up his cool and confidence. Lu Han knows he’s afraid, they both are. But when Lu Han had been skeptical about the acceptance to Seoul’s best university, Yifan had been the one keeping both of them on the drive to keep moving forward. He seems to simply always know what to do.

  And that seems to have driven a kind of hate Lu Han felt towards Joonmyeon. The two had once been friends, but he couldn’t accept how Joonmyeon just went and break Yifan so utterly like that.

  Lu Han couldn’t forgive Joonmyeon.

  “Where did you go all these years?” Lu Han asks, not giving Joonmyeon the time to speak, his voice rising with each questions asked, “Why did you leave in the first place? How could you do this to Yifan—do you even know how much you broke him?”

  “I have no rights for regrets,” Joonmyeon didn’t speak for a long while before he finally broke the silence, “Do you know—where is he?”

  “You left him without words back then; three years and seven months later you come back and ask for him?” Lu Han scoffs. His tone cold and hard, but he could not control himself. It’s a kind of hate you’d feel towards a friend who betrayed you. “Don’t you think it’s too late to ask for him now?”

  It’s like a tight slap to Joonmyeon’s face, one that he knows he fully deserves. The ice latte left on the table forgotten, and Joonmyeon lost all words to say. He knows he have nothing to ask for, no right to even mention Yifan’s name. It was his entire fault, like how Lu Han is pointing out to him right now.

  Throat tightening, Joonmyeon realizes that he’s crying.

  “I—please, Lu Han. At least let me give him an explanation for why I left him. He deserves to know.”

  “… He’s at the hospital.”

  “You’re not working on your essay?” Jongdae asks from the kitchen as Lu Han plops himself onto the sofa with his eyes closed, a low groan emitting from his lips.

  “I’ve finished three of my assignments, I think I deserve some rest,” Lu Han chuckles wearily from the position he’s in, too exhausted to even move.

  “Even so, don’t sleep there you idiot,” Jongdae rolls his eyes and smiles, slightly exasperated at how whiny Lu Han can get sometimes, “Get your lazy off my sofa and go to sleep on my bed, it’ll be better for you.”

  Jongdae walks out of the kitchen with a plate of freshly sliced apples. He sits on the sofa by Lu Han’s side, fingers subconsciously caressing Lu Han’s cheeks. He could still feel some of the emotions from the day surging within him; like butterflies in stomach, but worse than that.

  He’s desperate to ask how did Lu Han get to know Joonmyeon, and from the looks of it they seem to know each other for quite some time. But he’s afraid to ask, because he knows he doesn’t have a right to. Between Lu Han and him, Jongdae isn’t sure anymore.

  He couldn’t understand the emotions he had been feeling the day before; he couldn’t understand the emotions he’s feeling towards Lu Han either.

  Jongdae’s distracted by his thoughts when Lu Han grab his wrist and pulls him close. In a split moment he’s half-lying on Lu Han and the intimacy between them brought a deeper color of red to his cheeks. He struggles half-heartedly to wriggle away from Lu Han, but his strength is still surprisingly strong.

  “And you say you’re tired,” Jongdae mutters, “You still seem to retain some strength.”

  “Feed me,” Lu Han ignore Jongdae’s ramble and requested with his eyes still closed. He could feel the exhaustion through the eyelid, not sure if it’s because he overworked himself, or maybe it’s because of the sudden unexpected meetup with Joonmyeon again that drained him.

  “You have hands,” Jongdae mutters some more, rolling his eyes.

  Yet he doesn’t sound very annoyed as he rests himself with more confidence on Lu Han, stretching his hands to grab a piece of apple and rest the slice upon Lu Han’s lips.

  The corner of Lu Han’s lips quirked into a small smile before parting to bite on the apple, “You’re quite the hypocrite too, my dear.”

  Jongdae’s flushed to his neck, his ears reddening. Lu Han has his lips wrapped around Jongdae’s finger, on it lightly as he chews on the slice of apple slowly. Involuntarily, a soft whine escaped past Jongdae’s slightly parted lips as he withdrew his fingers.

  “You need to sleep on the bed,” Jongdae tries to convince Lu Han once more, “Or else you’ll regret again like the last time.”

  “The sofa’s comfortable enough,” Lu Han cuts across him, wrapping his arms around Jongdae’s petite frame.

  Jongdae didn’t dare to move, eyes wide in surprise. He didn’t know what to do in response to such weird actions from the older male. Lu Han had never done such things before, and all Jongdae could do is simply go along with the flow.

  “I’d like to hear you sing again,” Lu Han mumbles, “Please?”

  Jongdae stays silent for a moment; it seems to have become a habit of Lu Han’s now. The older male would always stayover through the night and every night he’d ask Jongdae to sing him to sleep; something that Jongdae realizes he couldn’t say no to.

  It does seem that Lu Han is terribly exhausted, Jongdae sighs. This is a very uncomfortable and awkward sleeping position, and from the likes of it he wouldn’t be able to get himself out anytime soon either. Giving up the struggle, he lays on Lu Han and watches the other guy sleep, humming a light tone to lull Lu Han into a good rest.

  Groggily, Jongdae thinks sleep came to him in the end too.

  “We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year—”

  The joyful Christmas carols resound around the small café, courtesy of Lu Han. Minseok was the one who came up the idea of singing the Christmas carols in the café to infect the festive season towards their customers, yet somehow it ends up with Lu Han singing the happiest.

  Jongdae ends up getting pulled in all the time because Lu Han’s high, or as how Sehun calls it. The ‘young brat’ (once again, courtesy of Lu Han) told Minseok that Lu Han’s two-hundred percent utterly drunk and high.

  Usually Jongdae would have pushed away whoever the person is and hides away, but perhaps because it’s Lu Han. The two ends up singing at the top of their voice half the time to serenade the customers, another half to joke around and elicit peals of laughter from every corner of the café.

  “You have such a beautiful voice,” Lu Han tells Jongdae the twentieth time of the afternoon, which resulted in both a groan and laugh in response from Jongdae. “You’ll definitely do well at the year-end performance of yours!”

  Jongdae laughs, because ever since the day started Lu Han has been complimenting him all the time and dropping him encouragements at casual timings. They’re sitting side by side at a corner, mainly because with the disruption of Lu Han, it’s pretty impossible for Jongdae to focus on coffee making at all.

  (Minseok and Sehun both turn a blind eye.)

  Jongdae thinks that Lu Han is right and he’ll probably do well at the performance after all. He had never given himself a chance to sing before an audience, and thus eventually shaped his shy personality.

  Ever since Lu Han appeared though, Jongdae realizes with a belated start that he had been singing more, with confidence that he never believed himself to have, and he’s starting to sing in front of more and more people. It’s quite amazing, now that he thinks of it, how one person is capable of influencing him so much.

  Joonmyeon isn’t around most of the time again. Ever since Lu Han and he had a chat, Joonmyeon seems to have disappeared once again. Seeing that Lu Han made no mentions of Joonmyeon at all, Jongdae kept his quiet as well.

  “Sehun makes good coffee, but I still like yours the best.” Lu Han beams up at him.

  “I’ll make you your coffee as long as you stop dragging me out of the kitchen,” Jongdae chortles.

  “I guess I’ll just have to make do with today then,” Lu Han mocked a sigh, to which Jongdae only laughs in return.

  “I’m sorry Yifan; you probably didn’t want to see him again. I know I shouldn’t have, but I do think that you two have to sort out what happened between you two.”

  “… I don’t lie that I’m furious, Lu Han. I cannot deny that I’m thankful either. You’re right, I should meet him.”

  “You can never lie to yourself,” a soft, sad chuckle, “That’s what makes you exactly you.”

  “Sometimes you got to learn to lie to yourself too, if not life is too harsh.”

  “How are you right now? We—we should meet up too.”

  “Let’s see.”

  Slender fingers strumming lightly against the strings of the guitar, the soft tune matching to the light hum from Jongdae; Lu Han turns to smile at Jongdae as he continues to strum his guitar.

  “Ms. Tiffany only knows how to play the piano and the violin,” Jongdae says, “So whenever we practice together I only sing to the piano. I didn’t realize that the guitar sounds so nice.”

  “Adding the tune of the guitar can help,” Lu Han agrees, “You have talent, Jongdae.”

  “It’s just adding some lyrics to some meaningless tune,” Jongdae blushes.

  “If it’s meaningless, then I don’t understand how it’s possible to sound so heavenly.” Lu Han laughs as he flicks the tip of Jongdae’s nose.

  “You do love to jest me,” Jongdae chuckles.

  Lu Han stares at Jongdae as the younger focusing on his little notebook, clearing his throat twice to get the right note. He chuckles lightly, thinking that yes, indeed he does love him. He hasn’t been sure after the amusement park; he had thought that it was just a mentality that would pass after a few days.

  It’s not a fleeting emotion, Lu Han knows; he’s in love with Jongdae.

  “Why are you looking at me funny?” Jongdae asks, eyeing Lu Han with a soft smile.

  Lu Han laughs softly, shaking his head to Jongdae’s question. Perhaps it’s in that moment, but he grabs the wrist of Jongdae and pulls him close. Jongdae’s eyes widen in surprise and unasked question, innocence brightly filled in those beautiful eyes of his.

  “L—Lu Han? Is there something wrong—?”

  Jongdae never got to finish his sentence. Eyes widening as his mind went into a state of mental blankness, it took Jongdae a long moment to realize that Lu Han had just pressed his lips against his. Lu Han tastes bittersweet, like the coffee that he drinks; his lips soft against his.

  Only moments later does Jongdae really acknowledge the fact that Lu Han is kissing him – oh my god is Lu Han kissing me? Time seems to have frozen and Jongdae’s utterly frozen along with it. He could feel Lu Han’s warm breath against his skin, and from the close proximity he could clearly see Lu Han’s fluttering lashes.

  “It’s only polite to close your eyes when someone kisses you,” Lu Han breaks away after a moment, teasing Jongdae lightly.

  “I—”

  He’s cut off once more when Lu Han leans forward to close off all proximity between them for the second time. This time Jongdae’s not so frozen, though there’s still a never-ending list of questions running through his mind.

  He listens to Lu Han though, closing his eyes a moment too late and soon found himself responding shyly. Jongdae’s not very experienced in this field, having never kissed anyone before apart from the small pecks on his family’s cheeks.

  Lu Han breaks again when he feels that Jongdae’s out of breath, smiling lightly at the full-blown flush on Jongdae’s cheeks. He looks adorable like that, Lu Han thinks to himself, with his cheeks as red as an apple.

  “Why did you do that—” Jongdae stutters out the first question that came into his mind, unsure of what else to say as he stares, wide eyes, at Lu Han.

  “There’s only one reason for a person to kiss another, Jongdae,” Lu Han chuckles at how innocently adorable Jongdae is right now. “I like you, Jongdae.”

  Jongdae blinks, bewildered and slightly frantic at the sudden confession from Lu Han.

  “What do you mean you like me—you like me as a friend or—?”

  “Jongdae,” Lu Han calls out, serious and not smiling for once, “Jongdae, I like you. Not as a friend, but as a potential boyfriend. Do you like me too?”

  “I—I’m not sure,” Jongdae stutters. He isn’t sure about these types of feelings at all, but a sort of warmth spread within him from his heart, and it somehow makes him feel light-headed; a good kind of light-headedness though. “I…I do like you, Lu Han, but I’m not sure if it’s the same like as yours to me—”

  “You’re utterly adorable, my nightingale.” Lu Han laughs.

  “If I feel unhappy when I see you with someone else,” Jongdae suddenly asks, remembering the ugly emotions he had felt when Lu Han and Joonmyeon were together, “Does that mean it’s because I like you?”

  “I think it means that you’re jealous, my nightingale.” Lu Han smiles, “It makes me happy to know that you’d get jealous because of me.”

  Jongdae couldn’t stop the blush that crept up his cheeks; neither could he stop the smile from spreading on his face.

  “My nightingale,” Lu Han chuckles softly, pressing his lips lightly onto Jongdae’s forehead for a chaste peck.

  “I like you, Jongdae. I hope you truly like me too.”