Hi my twins babies,

I don’t know what to say first. How confusing! I have so much to say so it turns out I don’t know what to say. We had just turned back from the practice. I’m tired but still, I want to stay up late a bit to write for you because I can’t hide how much I miss you and your mother. No I can’t hide it! And no, I’m not crying. Well… Ok, I just set tears a bit but I dried it off already. Of course I can’t let my hyungs know that I’m feeling homesick.

I don’t know how my hyungs can deal with the mixture feelings when we want to be home but we can’t. I’m dying because of those kinds of feelings. I can’t stand it at all. It’s like there are two JunHongs in me: one is missing home like a child missing their blanket and one promises that he has to finish perfectly the role of an idol. It seems that the second guy always appears in the morning, when his group practice and prepare for the concerts, and on stage, when he turns into a best absolute perfect maknae. Then the first guy always appears at night, when he’s sleeping alone and misses the scent of his babies’ shampoo. I mean… NOW.

Your birthday is coming soon. However, I’m not able to come home on that day. Just the mere thought of how disappointed and upset you two will be celebrating your third birthday party without me can become a bullet straight through my heart. I already bought the presents for you and also counted the day it would be delivered home to make sure that you will receive them right on your birthday. The two presents are the same so don’t fight over them, ok?

This time, we stay in three rooms and like often, I’m staying in the same room with JongUppie hyung. Before going to bed, he talked to me about how much he admired me. To him, bring up one child is hard, I even have twins!

When I showed out your pictures, YongGukkie Uncle called you “Zelo no.1” and “Zelo no.2” because you two look like each other, and look like me. You can tell how much I feel proud. I need to send my gratefulness to your mother. She is such a wonderful wife that gave me these adorable twins.

Now I’m lying with my stomach against the bed to write this letter (so my handwriting is pretty bad, and also because I’m sleepy). This posture reminds me of the night before we went for the tour, I was also lying like this watching TV with your mother, and then you climbed on my back riding it. You two burst to laugh playing with each other and rested your heads on my back pretending to sleep when your mother yelled you off for being noisy. I missed your laugh so much. Can you laugh into a bottle or something and send it to me?

Last time I called, your mother told me this story. She baked a patch of cakes (my favorite one, ah I’m hungry). I can’t believe that you two scrambled for the last one yet I feel funny when you snatched it from each other and said “Nekkoya”. What made me laugh the most is your mother’s last sentence before she hung up on the phone: “Like father, like sons”.

Fighting with each other is bad so don’t! You’re twins, which means even closer than brothers. Helping each other out and don’t make your mother upset. There was once your mother said that one of you got up first, even before the alarm clock and woke the other up. That was awesome! I’ll be more proud if you also fighting together in other situations.  

I heard the news on TV and it said that there would be a big storm sweeping by our house’s area. Please keep yourself healthy, you and your mother! Please don’t make me worry. I’m trying my best to stay healthy too, in order not to worry you.

I’ve just yawned. Despite that, I want to write more. It’s hard though. My words are not abundant enough to describe my love to you. What’s more, I don’t want to say goodbye just yet.

We’re in the same time zone, babies. And this city is close to home but it’s still a foreign country anyway. I hate the thought that we’re apart. I don’t want to admit that we’re staying away from each other. You must be sleeping now, soundly and peacefully. If I were home now, I might give each of you a kiss on your forehead, fix your blanket gently to make sure that you won’t get cold and turn back to my bed with your mother sleeping next to me. I miss you. I need you. Sleep tight, babies.

 This morning, on the way back to the hotel, our cars passed a water park. It’s huge and looks interesting. I remember that you told me you wanted to go to the water park. Just wait for me for several months more. When this idol fulfills his mission with his fans, he will come back to be your responsible father, stay with you all day and do his promises. We’ll go on a trip abroad, to this city maybe, or another city which also has a huge water park. Tell your mother to buy new swimming trunk for you. It’s going to be a memorable vacation.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU, MY TWINS!

I think I can go to sleep now. I yawned the fifth time and my eyelids can’t be opened anymore. I’ll send this letter tomorrow. Call me when you receive it. I miss your voice talking to the phone, telling me you miss me. I miss your everything: the way you copying me, your little lips, your limpid eyes, your cutie noses, the way you scratch your head… Ah, my tears…

I love you.

Your father, JunHong.