Dear my little boy,

I woke up and saw your mother’s missed call. I stayed up really late last night on purpose in order to wait for her call but I guess the tiredness got me fall asleep. I couldn’t reach my aim to hear your baby voice before going to sleep. And now we’re practicing for the second night of the show so I can’t call you back. That’s why I’m writing to you.

The last time your mother called me must be one month and one week ago. I miss he siren voice telling me that you’re healthy and growing up every day. I still remember on the day I had to step on the plane to go far from you and catch up with other members, you had just been born for five days. Those short five days being with you were so awesome and they became my dreams and desires to do my best on stage so I can go home with you as soon as possible. After concluding all the perfect concerts, I’ll come back to you. I guess you’ll be much bigger at that time.

In an interview last night, the MC congratulated me on having a baby boy. I was so thankful and uncomfortable at the same time because I miss you so much whenever people talk about it. I miss the moment when your little fingers wrapped around mine and you nuzzled your little head into my chest when you were sleeping in my arms. My boy, I love you and miss you so much.

I always tell myself to take good care of my children at their important periods of life since they are born. Thus, I feel a bit guilty to leave your mother taking care of you alone. I told your Uncle Jae about this and he comforted me by telling, “You have two lovers – your fans and your family. You can’t be with them two at the same time. We’re celebrities. We have to deal with it!”. His saying made me think a lot. I know you don’t want me to feel guilty. Even so, I feel so irresponsible. This time I have to choose my fans. However, you’re my family, so you understand my decision right?

Do you still have the habit that falling asleep while listening to my ballad songs? When your mother called and said that she turned my ballad songs on to make them your lullabies, I felt so happy. I hope at least I can sing for you so you can sleep easier even when I’m not at home. Your mother also said that when you heard my voice, you stayed silent and listened to it. I’m dying to see that with my own eyes. I want to be with you!

You must be staying in Busan right now as your mother said the last time she called that she would take you to Busan to visit your grandparents. It’s such a long trip back to the hometown, isn’t it? Do you feel proud to be at your hometown? I hope you’ll like the sea as much as I do. Oh, and the satoori. It’ll be great if your first word to be spoken is satoori. I will really happy if we can speak satoori to each other. I’m looking forward to it. Please send my greeting to your grandparents and tell them that I miss them as much as I miss you.

The other members are lying on the stage. We’ve been practicing the whole morning. It’s extremely hot here in this tropical country. Their biggest wish is to be swimming in a pool or at the beach so they’re jealous with you because you’re in Busan. But I’m jealous with you because you’re being with your mother. I miss her so much.

There is this funny thing that I have to tell you. Your Uncle Bang is going to have a baby girl and he keeps persuading me to be his in-law. We have been chatting a lot about that but of course you’re the one who makes the decision, not us. When you grow up, you’ll understand. Love is something you can never guess or predict. When you find the girl, you’ll notice that she’s the one. Just like when I met your mother.

When we’re tired and come back to the hotel, we spend time talking to each other about our family. That’s when I miss you the most. I try to listen to the other members about their experiences of taking care of their children so I will be able to bring you up in the right way.

Sometimes I wake up and feel myself dead-tired then I look at the photo of you as my iPad screen lock and tell myself that if I do well today, I’ll get one more step closer to the day I can see you again. My little boy, you’re very precious to me. Do you know that? Because you’re my son, I’ll never exchange you to get anything but I’ll exchange everything just to get you.

My stomach is calling for food. It’s like my stomach know that I’m writing a letter to home so it reminds me to tell your mother how much it misses her cheesecakes. Luckily, I took photos of those delicious cheesecakes that your mother made so now whenever I want to have cheesecakes, I take a look at those photos on my iPad. How convenience it is!

Don’t worry for me and my health! I know how to take care of myself and I also don’t want you and your mother to be worried. It’s you who needs to take care of yourself and don’t make me worry. Infants are very easy to get common illnesses. Promise me that I won’t get any calls from your mother telling me that you’re sick or something. I’ll scold you for that if it happens.

My members are ready to practice the last time before we go out for dinner. I’ll end my letter here so I can send it on the way back to the hotel. Please wait for me. Just several months more and I’ll be home with you.

Love you and miss you,

Your father Jung DaeHyun.