Dear my little daughter,

I’m sorry that I can’t call home as we’re too busy right now. I don’t even have time to think about myself because I spend every free second I have to think of you and your mother. That’s why I’m writing to you. It’ll be much better because your mother told me that whenever you hear my voice, you always kick her. Moreover, if I call you now, I’ll cry for sure. And I can’t let my members see their leader crying. They’re all asleep at the moment while I’m still awake thinking about you.

 How are you today, baby? Did you disturb your mother by keeping kicking her all the time? I remember when I was kneeling down in front of your mother and kissed her stomach then leaned my ear on it to listen to your movement. Baby, do you know how much I want to squeeze your mother’s belly now? So I can squeeze you who are laying inside.

My little baby daughter, I’m so sorry that I can’t be with you to take care of you and love you. We’re still in the middle of the tour and it’ll take me two months more to come home. When I heard your mother said that you would be born in about three months more, I was so worried. I’m afraid that I’m not able to be with her when she gives birth to you. That will be the biggest regret of my life. So can you wait for me until I’m home? I’m trying my best to keep everything follow the schedule. Please wait for me, baby!

You don’t know how much I want to grip your little hand right now. I keep thinking about the moment when I can hold you in my arms just right after you were born. I can leave a peck on your cheek and beam at you because you’re so look-alike to me.

I put your first photo in my pocket. This afternoon, I took it out and kissed it. I wasn't careful and HimChan uncle saw it. He caught me but I didn’t feel ashamed at all. Of course how can it be called ashamed when a father misses his little baby right?

Well I should take some sleep now as I haven’t slept for two days. We had to practice with the new stage here to get used to with it. You know it’s kind of an important part of the show. I know you would tell me to go to sleep now if you were here. But no, I’m not going to sleep until I can write down all of my feelings to you right now.

I’m in a different time zone with you so at this time, you must be having breakfast with your mother. Eat well, baby! You have to be strong and healthy in order not to make your mother worry. I can imagine it when one day, you’re old enough to sit on the chair and have breakfast with us. How happy our family is going to be…

Oh, your JunHong uncle has just sat up and went to the toilet. I have to pretend that I’m sleeping. Okay, he’s back to bed now. It’s so quiet here, baby. Quiet enough that I can hear your mother voice calling you echoes out from my head. Ah, my back is so painful. We practiced a lot. But don’t worry, just think of you and your mother are waiting at home, I can get over every pain.

How is your mother? I miss her voice every time she wakes up and calls you, asks you if you’re awake and then wakes me up. I also miss her as much I miss you. Please kiss her for me. Oh I forgot. But it’s still okay right? You can just kiss her from inside her stomach.

When we were having dinner, actually, we ate food in boxes right at the stage, but we still call it dinner anyway, well, your uncles asked me whether I thought of a name for you. Of course I thought of that. I thought of a name for you but I’m so confused and it isn’t something I can do alone. I’ll discuss about it with your mother when I’m home. But sure, it’ll start with “Bang something”. I also thought of combining our name together. You know people usually combine the father and mother’s name together for their children’s name. But I want to do something much greater, which I still have to think of…

Why is it so cold here? Is it because I’m staying alone? Even though I’m sleeping with my members, why still I feel so lonely… Don’t worry about that, baby! It’s just my empty heart is missing you so much and it turns my feelings into lonely. But I’ll be fine soon as long as I’m talking to you.

You must be done eating now, did you enjoy the meal? And remind your mother not to turn on the music channel or else you’ll kick her when you hear B.A.P songs. Everyone keeps telling me that I’m going to have a talented female rapper when you’re grown up. It’s not my choice, baby. To be a rapper or not, it’s up to you. You don’t have to do that because I did. You know my motto, “Do what you like and love what you do.”

What should I do now? I still have many things want to talk to you but if I keep writing, it’ll take me the whole day. Whereas, I have to wake up early tomorrow morning to prepare for the concert. I really don’t want to say this, ah, write this down. I guess I have to say goodbye to you here. Don’t be upset, I’ll write more to you once I have free time.

I really miss you and your mother. I think of you two every second of the day and always always love you two. Please call me when you receive this letter.

Love you,

Your father Bang YongGuk.