LOL. I love how Kiseop acts before he thinks! He didn't even realize that the cookies would be steaming hot, since he wanted to eat them so much. XD U-Kiss's such a cute, amusing group here! Mary's an easy going kind of girl - I really like her~ Ahahaha, she and Kevin will be the ones who get along with the more childish ones! :D Kevin will take the legs, Mary will take the arms, and they will drag him out of the house to the park! I love how your chapters show so much with so little. <3 It's a good thing to be able to write like that! <br />
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I don't have much to say for critique, especially since the writing format has noticably gotten easier to understand and read! :D Plus, there are the quotation marks, too, that indicates when a new person is speaking. Awesome! The most I can say is to use punctuation other than exclamation points and question marks, such as periods, colons, semicolons, and commas! Try to capitalize the first letter of the first word of a new sentence, too. Other than that, great! :D I'll be awaiting the next chapter rather eagerly~ <3 HWAITING!<br />
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- Ae
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