Chapter 5
Arising From The Deep
This chapter is longer than the others.
I know this story is slow paced but I hope you enjoy it.
Kyungmi’s pov
I had opened my eyes. I was in the same room as earlier, except it wasn't night and the only light was outside in the hospital corridor and on the machines I was wired up to, which would bleep every so often. My left hand was sore where the drip needle was attached, delivering fluid to my dehydrated body.
My chest was tightening up as I looked at the tent over my bed. Over where my whole right leg used to be. My fingers clenched and I wanted to yell; I had never felt so angry. I never said they could take my leg away – my poor shattered limb. They didn’t even give it a chance. God, I’m going to cry. I can feel it coming. No Kyungmi, you need to find something out first before crying.
‘Omma.’ I whispered. She was there, asleep in a chair. She looked about fourteen years old instead of forty – small and vunerable. But Omma is stronger than all of us, even if she was only five foot three.
‘Hey.’ She said, she opened her eyes quickly.
‘How long…?’ I couldn’t finish the sentence, I was confused about what should come next. I couldn’t remember the past tense of ‘sleeping’. My brain was full of fog. My voice was croaky. I sounded like the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard Of Oz.
‘About eight hours.’ I noticed that on my bedside table, next to several get well soon cards was a framed photo of Minnie, holding a ball on the other end of a rope – his favourite toy.
‘I’m sorry Omma, about all of this.’ I said, my lip began to wobble. Omma sat on the edge of the bed and hugged me rocking me backwards and forwards like she used to when I fell off my first bike.
‘You have nothing to be sorry about.’ There was anger in her voice. ‘There are those who should be sorry. For the rest of their lives. But you are my beautiful girl, who has come back to me. And you must never, never apologise for that.’
And then the words, that have been tormenting my subconscious escaped from my mouth before my brain had a chance to protect me from the variety of answers that could follow.
‘What about Kwang-Su? Where is Kwang-Su Oppa?’
Omma released me from the hug and gathered herself up to speak. In the half light I could see opening, closing, opening and then closing again. Silence.
‘Omma, I want to know. Where’s my Oppa?’ My voice shook.
‘Kwang-Su has gone…to the other place.’
I nodded. Shock waves zapped through every cell of my being. Something in my head was screaming ‘No!’ My friend had left me forever, best friends are supposed to do everything together.
I sat there, for hours without saying a word, staring off into space. Omma was watching me, ready to minister whatever reaction came first. I felt blank, like an empty canvas, devoid of colour. My machine bleeped to indicate signs of life. Somewhere in the corridor outside, some was pushing a trolley with a squeaky wheel.
And suddenly I could hear metal on metal and the sun was being obliterated by a black monster bearing down on us and Kwang-Su falling against me and then…nothing. I gasped, my body going ridged for a moment as the memory coursed through my bloodstream, Omma was holding me in her arms.
‘You’re safe now Kyungmi. I’m here.’ But Kwang-Su Oppa isn’t. She repeated this over and over again until my breathing had calmed. I had broken out into a sweat, Omma was wiping my forehead softly with a damp tissue. I wanted to cry so much but this new loss was beyond belief. My smashed up body trembled in ripples, like smooth water disturbed by a sharp stone.
‘Who won the Busan Gymnast Championships?’ It was the first thing I said, pointlessly I had remembered it.
‘It was cancelled. They held a memorial for Kwang-Su and you instead.’
Kwang-Su had his funeral while I was unconscious, I wasn’t even there to say goodbye. What a great friend you are Kyungmi. Omma was rummaging through her bag and pulled something orange out. She placed them in my hands, tears started to form in my eyes.
‘Mrs. Kim wants you to have these. They weren’t damaged in the crash.’
I held the orange headphones in my hands hoping that somehow it would bring Kwang-Su back. They were cold, like a piece of ice. I was suddenly overwhelmed by something unexpected and unfamiliar; guilt.
‘I should have gone with him. Best friends give up everything for each other.’ The dam in my brain broke and saltwater poured through my eyes and nose. ‘I shouldn’t have let Kwang-Su go on his own.’
Omma enveloped me as I broke down into tears, he was gone, he was really gone and he wasn’t coming back. I clung onto Omma sobbing and crying. I wailed like a baby, I cried and yelled not caring if people outside the room heard me.
~
I opened my eyes slowly to see EunSun sitting on a chair watching the television, they must have brought it in for me in the night, or was it the day? I had lost track of time.
‘Your Omma has gone for a shower, she’ll be back soon.’
‘Ah, I was wondering where she was. What are you watching?’
‘Show Champion, you just missed Exo.’
‘I haven’t really listened to them.’
‘You have never lived! They’re so hot and awesome! Oh! Here comes BAP.’
We both fell silent as we watched them perform No Mercy, I was older than Zelo and younger than Jongup by a few months. I smiled a little when EunSun let out a squeal. The song finished and the adverts started to play.
‘They are amazing. Don’t you think Kyungmi?’
‘Yeah, I still prefer Big Bang though!’
‘You must be Big Bang’s number one fan, you listen to no one else but them.’ I winced and clutched my head as pain rushed through it.
‘Hey, are you ok?’
‘Can you pour me some water please?’
I drank the cool water that EunSun poured me which made me feel better right away. I chatted with EunSun for a while about random things, I was really grateful to her for visiting me, it was different than when Omma came, I didn’t have to talk about my leg, I could relax with her. It was almost as if nothing had happened. Almost.
~
It was the middle of the night when I woke up, I must have fell asleep before EunSun left, there was a note from her saying ‘Sleep well, I’ll come by again soon.’ I smiled and looked around. Omma was at home with Minnie. I wished that she was there then, with her arms around me, telling me about her day and what Minnie had been up to. I wouldn’t care if Uncle Choi came and complained about whatever was on his mind. Anything would have been better than hearing the hum of the machines monitoring whether or not my blood pressure is going to go through the roof and make me explode into a thousand fragments.
Omma had left her cardigan on the chair, the pale pink one with the wavy hem; I managed to just about reach it. I covered my face with it as I breathed in deeply. I could smell her lavender perfume. I could make this pain stop forever. I could wrap the sleeves around my neck and tie them to the top of the metal bedstead, I would only have to lean forward. It would be like the game were you hold your breath for as long as possible. I reached round and tried to tie it, I could only do it with my right hand as I had the drip in my left. You can only take a life when there is a life to take.
‘Kyungmi are you cold?’ A nurse with a round open face was suddenly at my bedside ramming a thermometer into my mouth. She seemed concerned. She took my pulse and stared at me. Maybe next time Kyungmi.
‘You’re sweating, I’ll get you some ice.’ She took the cardigan from my hands and folded it neatly on the chair by the door, leaving her hand on it for a moment longer than necessary.
‘It’s a lovely pink, like a winter sunset.’
Comments are much appreciated <3
Cherrycupcake
22nd August 2012
05:21pm
22nd August 2012
05:21pm
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