“How can something so wrong feel so right all along?”

Few days earlier…

He was torn. He did not know when or how it started. It worked slowly and unnoticed. He did not saw it coming and he was taken by surprise when he felt that it was already there. That was when he realized that sometimes love is like death; it comes like a thief in the night. It seized the moment and stole his heart. The worse thing was he could not do anything about it. He had never been this helpless in his entire life. Don’t take him wrong. He tried everything. He busied himself day in and day out so that he could take it off his mind.

“Another day has ended.” Kyuhyun murmured followed by a sigh. With each passing day that he felt Victoria drifting farther and farther out of his reach, he felt his feelings for Seohyun grow more and more. He looked at the tiny hourglass hanging from his necklace. Like the grains of sand that falls at the bottom of the glass, he was also falling slowly for the girl sitting beside him. He furtively looked at her sideways and he noticed that she was also glancing at him.

“I’m sorry.” Seohyun muttered. “I should be the one helping you and not the other way around. You have been a great help to me but to you, I can hardly contribute anything.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. You tried your best. It isn’t your fault.” he said. He reached for her hand and held it momentarily as he looked into her eyes. Seeing her worried eyes, he gave her a smile.  “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Seohyun retorted.

“I’m okay, really.” Kyuhyun quickly replied.

“I’ve been with you long enough to memorize what each of your facial expression means,” Seohyun said.  That smile,” she released her hand from Kyuhyun’s hold and pointed at his face, “totally says ‘I’m-not-okay-but-I-don’t-wanna-burden-anybody-so-I’ll-try-my-best-to-hide-it.”

Kyuhyun chuckled. “Busted.” Then he hung his head low.

Yeah, she got his facial expression but not what he was actually feeling now. Because if she did, can she read the feelings he has for her written in his eyes? Can she see the confusion, the chaos in his heart? No, she still does not know everything.

------

He knew that what he was feeling was wrong. It was unfair.

It was unfair for Victoria. He had been unfaithful to her.

It was also unfair for Seohyun. She deserves someone better.

He did not know what to do. He was stranded, unable to move forward.

“I did not think that it would be this hard,” Kyuhyun told Yesung one midnight when he came to visit him.

“No one ever said that it was going to be easy.” Yesung replied. “I told you earlier that entering this deal has its repercussions… consequences… It can be good, it can be bad. It’s up to you.”

“I know. I just didn’t expect this kind of consequence.” Kyuhyun replied.

“Expect the unexpected, my dear.” Yesung said as he waved his farewell but he stopped in his tracks when his subject asked him a question.

“I can quit before the deadline, right?”

“Quitting already? I thought you are the type of person who does not give up easily.”

“You’re wrong. I am the type of person who fights but knows when to give up when the situation requires.”

“And that situation is now?”

Kyuhyun answered with a nod.

 “Are you sure? I’ll give you time to think –“

“Please…,” Kyuhyun held on to the timekeeper. “I’m begging you… before it’s too late,” he breathed. “I have been so selfish. I was only thinking of myself. I let myself believe that I have to come back because someone needed me when the truth is I was the one who could not accept the fact that I am already dead. I should not have ruined the continuum. I should have let it be.”

“But remember, it was Seohyun’s fervent wish that summoned you to have this deal. She was burden with guilt and hate… until you came and gave her a new start. I never thought that a righteous person like you will regret his good deeds. Do you regret jumping in front of that truck now?”

“I do not regret those.” Kyuhyun replied. “But I will surely regret hurting people that have been special to me. How can this happen to me? This is not what I wanted it to be.”

“One cannot always get what he wanted. There is a reason for that and seeking for that reason can lead you to new discoveries. Second chances are time of rediscoveries.”

Before Kyuhyun could even catch on to what he was saying, Yesung disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Back to the present…

“Second chances are time of rediscoveries,” Kyuhyun recited as he recalled the timekeeper’s last words that night. “..time of rediscoveries…” he knitted his brows as he thought deeply about it. “What is there for me to discover?”

Just then an old man had passed by him. He groaned as he stretched his back and legs. He looked like he just had a long walk around the area. “Sometimes there are just instances when you wanted to go to a particular place but people lead you to a different one instead.” The old man looked around him and smiled, “But this place seems better. I like it here.” The old man took his hat off and that’s when he noticed Kyuhyun.

“Hey there young man,” the old man greeted the younger one. “Have you experienced that too?”

Kyuhyun chuckled at the incidental metaphor. “I’ve been there but the problem is I cannot choose which place is better.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, what is the point of choosing if I could not stay permanently at the either of them?”

-----------------------------

A romantic candlelit dinner welcomed Victoria as she entered the hall. A nice music

plays on the background courtesy of a mini orchestra. Scattered rose petals led her to the lone round table at the center of the hall. The entire hall was only lit by the yellow flickering lights coming from the hanging Chinese lamps. The balcony was open and was overlooking at the mountain terrain outside.

Zhou Mi pulled a chair for her and they shared their dinner together. Victoria was silent the entire dinner until Zhou Mi kneeled on one bended knee in front of her. “Can we start over again? Please…”

“Zhou Mi, isn’t this too early? What will other people say?” Victoria told him.

“Let’s don’t mind them. We can escape and run away from all of these things if you want. I will do anything just say yes.”

What do I do now?

Is it time to move on?