Chapter 8 – Dandy Radio

“What do I do? What do I do!!!” Yuri is frantic and I can’t help her because I’m on the verge of freaking out completely as well. Then, she grips my shoulders and looks at me desperately. “You’ve got to come with me. You have to,” she pleads.

“How are you going to get me into the show with you?”

“You can be a special guest or something. Yeah, a special guest!”

I watch as Yuri slips off the precipice of her sanity and begins talking to herself.

“Yuri ah, calm down. Calm down. There’ll be a way out of this. There will be.”

Oh my gosh. This is the girl who has my body right now. Just. Kill. Me. Now.

“Please stop talking to yourself. People are going to think that I’ve gone mental or something.”

“But…” Yuri waggles her hands, her eyes wild, “but…b—”

“Stop.” I stick my open palm in her face and silence her instantly. I heave a deep sigh. We are in so much trouble that I can’t see a way out of this.

BOOM!

A cloud of rainbow sparkles descend around us in the cramped little toilet cubicle that we squeezed into to hide from our hyper friends, Tiffany and Sooyoung. The small toilet cubicle feels even tinier with the arrival of someone that I don’t particularly feel like seeing—Hyoyeon, the useless fairy.

“Hi!” Hyoyeon greets us with a bright smile that does nothing to lift my bad mood, despite her being comically sprawled across the toilet seat. Upon realizing the position that she’s in, she grumbles as she tries to rearrange herself to look a little more presentable. “I really need to practice my landing a bit more.”

“You need to practice casting your spells on the correct objects, that’s what you need to do,” I snap.

“Woah, woah. Don’t me so mad. Don’t worry, I’m here to help!”

“If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t need your help in the first place.”

And all this time, Yuri is just staring blankly at Hyoyeon, rendering me no help at all. Argh!

“Now, now, girls. I’ve already been helping you along the way.”

“Oh, you have, haven’t you?” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Of course! I’m not a fairy for nothing! Last night, while you two were fast asleep, I sacrificed my sleep to cast a spell on you!”

“WHAT?” both Yuri and I shriek in horror.

“What spell?” I ask at once. “What did you do to us!”

Hyoyeon grins slyly and chuckles. “Calm down. Relax. My dad and I cast a connection spell on you two. That’s how Yuri knew which level to press in the elevator.”

My eyes open wide. Oh yes, I had been wondering about that until Sooyoung pounced on us with the terrible news about the radio show. So, that wasn’t a of luck?

Hyoyeon seems to be able to read my mind and she grins even wider and pats her chest proudly as she explains, “I put the spell on you for emergencies like that. In extremely intense situations, you will be able to subconsciously sense each other’s thoughts.”

It is only then that Yuri gasps. “Yes! I had this sudden strange urge to press the ninth button and I don’t even know why…”

Hyoyeon nods, looking pleased with herself. “That was me! You’re welcome!”

“Well, why can’t you just let us read each other’s thoughts completely so that we can empathize with each other and break this spell?” I question.

Hyoyeon shakes her head immediately. “That spell is too dangerous. Wise fairies from long ago have learnt of the perils of reading thoughts and have banished the spell from the book. Besides, knowing one’s thoughts doesn’t mean you’ll be able to understand and feel for another.”

“Then they should have banished the spell that got us into this mess as well!” I fume.

Hyoyeon pouts and hangs her head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Hyoyeon,” Yuri speaks up suddenly as she pats the crestfallen fairy’s shoulder comfortingly.

I look at Yuri incredulously. What does she mean, it’s okay?! It’s not okay. Nothing is okay.

“We’ll figure it out together. Just, don’t run away again, okay? We need you to help us.”

Hyoyeon perks up a little and smiles again. “What kind of help?”

Yuri purses her lips and looks a little embarrassed.

“What is it? Don’t be shy to ask.”

“Well, is there some sort of spell to help me with English? I have to go on a radio show later today and Tiffany mentioned something about speaking in English.”

“Oh my gawd, yes!” I snap out of my daze of incredulity and grab Hyoyeon’s arm hopefully. “Can you help her?”

Hyoyeon looks a little unsure as she nods. “Actually, the spell book has something for that…but it’s difficult to cast and…and…I’m not very good at English myself.”

“What does your English have anything to do with it?” I ask, feeling clueless.

“Well…the spell…is in English and I’m bad at reading English.”

“Where’s the spell book,” I ask impatiently. “I’ll teach you.”

Hyoyeon brightens up immediately and whips out her iPhone and starts tapping on it.

“Ya! What are you doing? I asked for the book.”

“It’s an e-book. There you go.” Hyoyeon taps her phone with a flourish and shows me the e-book of spells. “We fairies keep up with the times very well, you know. Were you expecting some kind of big, dusty book that’s all frayed at the edges?”

Yuri and I nod dumbly and Hyoyeon laughs at our stupefied looks.

“Well actually, there is a big, dusty book that’s all frayed at the edges but they keep it safe from harm in a magical space. The wise fairies transferred all the spells and incantations from it into word documents which we used for a while. But now, with this e-book app, everything works so much better!”

“Right. So, the spell,” I remind her before she gets carried away with what sounds like a lengthy account of how wonderful the e-book of spells is.

Hyoyeon taps her phone and some words pop up. “This is it. It’s very long,” she groans.

I take the phone from her and begin reading,

“For whichever language you cannot speak,
You shall receive the knowledge that you seek.
So thereon, thereafter and thereby,
English will be what your tongue goes by.”

I look up from the phone and stare at Hyoyeon. “That’s not long at all,” I say.

“It’s not long if you’re good at it. But it’s way too long if you’re not,” she whines.

“I’ll teach you now. Quick, Yuri needs this. I need this.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll do my best to learn it,” Hyoyeon promises and I start reading each line to her slowly and deliberately. She listens to me twice then nods and says, “Okay, I think I got it.”

Hyoyeon takes a deep breath and Yuri and I watch with our breaths bated as she begins the incantation.

“Porr weecheberr lenguijji yoo kennot shpeek,
Yoo shell lessheep der noolejji dat yoo sheek.
Sho dereon, dereappter ann derebai,
Ingulish will be waat yor tang gosu bai.”

I blink. Oh gosh. That sounded horrible. Was that even English?

Meanwhile, Hyoyeon looks extremely satisfied with herself as she beams at Yuri. “You should be able to read and speak English a lot better now.”

“Is the spell less effective if you don’t pronounce it properly?” I ask.

Hyoyeon scrunches her face a little and shrugs. “It will be affected but I’m not sure about the extent of it.”

I don’t have a good feeling about this but there is nothing else I can do. There is no time to coach Yuri in English and this spell is the only lifeline we’ve got.

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I’m nervous, to say the least. Hyoyeon’s spell didn’t sound too convincing and I’m not sure how much English I’ll be expected to display. Fortunately, Sica is here with me. I suggested inviting her along as a special guest and luckily for us, Tiffany thought it would be a good idea. But as we walk through the radio station’s lobby, I begin to feel jittery and butterflies are flittering all around my stomach. The only thing that keeps me from freaking out completely is the piece of advice that Sica whispered just before we entered the studio: Let Tiffany do the talking.

It sounds like a good idea and I plan to do just that. Sica is a quiet person anyway, based on what I’ve seen so far. She didn’t talk a lot during our dinner date. She was quite the patient listener and I enjoyed her company that night.

Our relationship has entered a weird place, however. Now, I have her body and I don’t have my abs. Our world has turned upside down. But a voice inside me tells me that all is not lost yet. I just have to get through this radio show and somehow teach Sica how to save lives and we’ll be fine. I hope.

Nerves aside, being in a radio show seems to be quite fun. The production crew scrambles around to make sure we have headphones and microphones that are working and we are given some sort of a script that states the flow of the show.

“Jessi.”

“Jessi.”

“Jessi!” Tiffany nudges me hard and I look at her, wondering why she’s nudging me. She gives me a piercing look and it’s only then that I recall that I’m supposed to be Sica.

“I’m sorry, what’s the matter?”

“Daydreaming as usual, huh,” Tiffany gently chastises me with a shake of her head.

I flash a sheepish grin and say, “I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, Tiffany casts an odd look at me.

Opps. Did I do or say something wrong?

“Yes? What’s the matter?” I ask quickly, trying to distract Tiffany.

“Try to look and sound interested during the show, okay? Please don’t daydream.”

I nod and promise not to daydream and Tiffany still looks a little doubtful but the arrival of the DJs disrupts our conversation.

Sooyoung, who has been restless since we left the office, is already stumbling across the room to shake their hands.

“DJ Sunny! I’m so happy to meet you! I’m a big fan of yours!” Sooyoung is very exuberant and from what I can see, DJ Sunny is a little taken aback by her over-enthusiasm. It probably doesn’t help that Sooyoung is towering over the petite DJ.

DJ Sunny manages to smile despite everything and shakes Sooyoung’s hand as she asks, “What’s your name?”

Sooyoung looks as though she’s about to faint when Sunny asks her for her name. “I-I’m Sooyoung.” She stutters a little and I have to stifle a giggle. Sooyoung is funny. She was all hyped up on the way here but now that she finally gets to talk to DJ Sunny, she stutters.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Sooyoung.”

Sooyoung is rendered speechless right there and then. All we can hear from her is a squeak before her face turns completely red.

DJ Sunny seems to be amused by Sooyoung’s reaction and she giggles, which doesn’t help things at all. Sooyoung is now literally drowning in her joy, that much is evident from the look upon her face.

“Sunny just giggled,” Sooyoung whispers to me and all I can do is smile and pat her back comfortingly. Poor Sooyoung is a goner, I can tell.

Another girl, not much taller than DJ Sunny appears before us with a strange smile on her face that makes her look like she’s hiding a secret or something.

“Hi, I’m Taeng DJ. Thank you for coming on our show. We appreciate it very much.”

“It’s our pleasure to be on your show. Thank you for having us,” Tiffany replies politely as they shake hands.

I notice how their handshake is a little longer than the average and raise a curious brow. What’s going on in here? I look at Sica who is standing just behind me. Oh, I should introduce her!

“And this is Si-Yuri,” I stop and correct myself quickly.

“Siyuri…?” Taeng DJ repeats after me, looking unsure.

“No, no. Her name is Yuri.”

“Ah, hello, Yuri. It’s great to meet you too. Are you a writer for Girls too?”

Sica shakes her head. “No, I’m only here as a special guest for today.”

“Oh! Wow, a special guest! Sounds exciting!” Taeng DJ chirps with a wide smile. “Well, excuse us, we have to get ready for the show now.”

With that, the two petite DJs step into the little room where the ‘live’ broadcast will be recorded.

“Oh my gosh, I can die happy now,” Sooyoung declares as she gazes at DJ Sunny through the glass window. “And I’m never ever going to touch anything else with this hand,” she says as she raises and stares at her right hand in wonder.

“Why not?” I ask.

“Because DJ Sunny shook this hand.”

Tiffany and I can only stare at Sooyoung in incredulity and shake our heads but two seconds later, Sica bursts into laughter and slaps my back hard as she laughs.

“Wow, you’ve got the same kind of late reaction that Sica has,” Tiffany remarks and Sica stops laughing immediately.

Opps.

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“Hello everybody, I’m Taeng DJ.”

“And I’m DJ Sunny.”

“It’s a lovely afternoon and we’ve got a great show lined up for you today.”

“Summer’s right at our door step, knocking on our door as we speak and it’s time to head for the beach to cool off!”

“But before we head for the beach, there are a few things we need to do.”

“Really? What do we have to do?”

“We have to study.”

“Study?!”

“Yes, study. We have to study the fashion and the trends of beachwear so we have with us today, two writers from the lovely Girls magazine.”

“Hi, I’m Tiffany from Girls.”

“Hi, I’m Jessica from Girls.”

“Welcome and thanks for coming. I’m sure you’ll be able to offer us many fashion tips for this summer. Would you like to tell us which column you write for in Girls?”

I panic slightly at the question fearing that Yuri might not know how to answer it but much to my relief, Tiffany answers for Yuri.

“We write for the fashion column in Girls. And this summer, our focus is on beachwear so we are here to share what we’ve observed and analyzed over the weekend at the beach.”

“That’s wonderful. You’ll be able to share many tips with our listeners today.” Taeng DJ smiles at Tiffany. “I also heard that the both of you are fluent in English and are in charge of the English interviews for your magazine.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Ooo, can we hear some of your English? There’s nothing more attractive than a girl who speaks English well,” Taeng DJ adds.

I grip my chair hard. Please, let Yuri speak good English. Please! Hyoyeon’s spell had better work!

“Sure!” Tiffany agrees enthusiastically. “Hi, this is Tiffany and I hope that everyone listening in to this fantastic show will enjoy the show and learn something today,” she says in English with an American accent and the two DJs make ooh and ahh sounds as they gush over how lovely her English sounds.

“That was really nice, Tiffany!” Taeng DJ exclaims. “You sound so good! And Jessica? Let us hear your wonderful English too!”

It is Yuri’s turn. I bite my lip. Stress.

“Hi, I’m Jessica.”

So far so good.

“I am so happy to be here today. Please enjoy the show.”

Wow. Maybe Hyoyeon’s spell is working after all!

“You are must love us!”

What. Was. That?!

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