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If only I get myself to tell you…but, if you know the truth you will probably run away. And now, that was what you did…

“Boss, we…we still can’t find him.”

It was been two weeks since this kind of answer was been given to me. I knew the real reason now, what had made Jaejoong took a quick decision to leave. I had sent off my men to investigate it.

Also in this two weeks I had live in such a miserable life; only felt restless and deadly worried as the image of him covering in mud near the dirty area like the day I found him back then, kept playing on my mind, as I know this guy had no one else to rely on beside me. That was really a cutthroat torment to me.

“Keep searching him!” I let out another frustrated rage.

“But boss…we already searched him all over the place…I mean the whole city. But still-”

“I don’t care even we need to looking for him all over the country or the whole world! Just find him, damn it!”

“Yes, boss!”

My solely work for these past few weeks was only kept searching him at every single place that I thought he would resort to. But still, there’s no sign of he had heeled there. Only when the dawn breaks in, I would come home and found myself slumped down on the bed that only left with the scent of him.

Boo, where have you gone?

Seemingly he had really determined to leave me this time.  How could he?

But…I couldn’t blame him for his sudden leaving this time. It was my fault. My fault that I couldn’t get myself to tell him one important thing. And when he had known this thing from other’s mouth, this kind of outcome was exactly what would happen. But still I never thought he would decide to go this far when he knows the truth…

I’ll probably never break free of this guilt.

*

[Flashback of five years ago….]

“Boss, I’m sorry! I can’t drive you home!”

I stepped out from the club after ended the drinking party with my clan. Donghae, one of my men who used to take the task to drive me home, apologized and bowed slightly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked while thumb rubbed my dizzy head. Ugh, how I hated this weakness of couldn’t handle alcohol well! But I need to keep an impersonator look in front of my men.

“I just got a phone call that told me my…my dad just pass away.  So I need to rush back home. I’m sor-”

“It’s okay, you can go now.”

“Thank you, boss!”

 I never knew the consequence that would come afterward. In that snowy evening…I got into an accident because of my impaired driving that influenced by alcohol.

That was actually the starting point which had destined me to meet…..my angel.

The dizziness that I felt had instantly wear off as the strong sound of crash shook me through the silent road. Pulled up my bleeding head from the steering wheel, I noticed what had happened…

I coughed as only the blurring and smoky sight covering my eyes. I got out from my car and went to the car that I had crushed into.

My heart had almost stops beating as the woman that was in bloody face slumped weakly on the driver seat. She was in semi-conscious as her hand reached out, seemed asking my help.  I quickly took her out from her car, as my nose catch the air that reek of gasoline. I knew what would happen next if we not get away from here.

After I brought her far enough from our cars, I kneed down and laid her injured head on my thighs. I was about to pulled out my phone to call an ambulance when she stopped me with her words of pleading.

“P-please…dial Joongie’s number…I…I need to speak to…my son.” She let out in a slow breath.

Her hand that tainted with blood held out her phone to me. I stared at the phone; dumbfounded, before proceed with what she asked me to. 

I searched the said name, dialed the number, and there, pop out the person’s face on that small device’s screen before I hand it back the phone to her. But suddenly, she groaned in pain and the phone slipped out of her hand as she was having a difficulty to breath.

“I need to take you to hospital now.” I said and was about to pull her up but another boom echoed as our cars exploded. I was paralyzed on my spot for a moment.

“It’s no use… I…I need to speak to my son…please. I…I want to say sorry to him for not able to be a good mother that he wanted. I…I also can’t celebrate his birthday today…I…” The woman struggled to word out in a shallow breath, there had tears streamed down from the slit of her eyes as she spoke those words, seemed she knew that she would not last longer.

For the first time in my life, I’m Jung Yunho, that had live a life with my stone and cold heart, never been affected by any word that had uttered to me, but this time…why I seemed feel the sorrow in these words that couldn’t reach the ears of the person which was supposed to hear all of this?

“Stop talking, you get weary even more.  If you want to see your son again, you sh-”

I couldn’t finish my word, as her hand that clenched on my coat limply dropped on the ground.

Her eyes had completely shut and… she had stopped breathing.

*

A month had passed since that accident happened. It took me few weeks to forget the things that had happened, seemed the woman’s last wish to her son kept bugging my mind before.

“Boss, here is the financial report for the last month.” The person that in charge to handle this famous underground club that I had just taken over; reported to me. I only pay my visit here sometime, since there were tens more area that were under my supervision.

“Where is the list of the activity that had been held here? Only numbers state on these sheets? Are you stupid or what? How could I know where all this money comes from?” I was started to fuming in anger when my ears caught the sound of chaos that came from the back of the club.

“What is that? You guys have creating a trouble again?” I could see the man’s face looked agitated as my blazing glare directed to him.

“Err…it’s nothing, boss. Just one useless guy that we newly hired as a host keep bring us trouble.”

“Then kick him out.”

“We can’t since he is the major attention here, the reason that had grabbing more customers to come to this club since last month.”

“But if he keeps bringing a trouble just throw him out. I don’t care! The important is I don’t want the place where I run my business become a mess because of that little piece of !”

“B-but boss…we can’t do that. He had been collateral for his father’s debt. His father had sent him off here. We bought h-”

“What the f**k. Since when I allow that kind of business in this club!” I felt my blood pressure was about to kick me off to chop this man alive. But there was something more that had distracting me as I heard a voice shouted,

“He runs away again, through the back door!”

“! Catch him!”

That had enough to make me turned my heel out of place. “Yoochun, bring a car and wait for me at the back area.” I ordered my right-hand man. I feel someone or…more than one would die in my hand tonight. I hated those who have a gut to create a mess in my place. I was trying to keep this place ‘clean’ as possible. It was simple, no ion trading, no slave trading, and no drugs dealing. But still there have some people who still dared to taint my business by doing this kind of work behind my back, just because wanted to pleasing me by their way of gaining the monthly income.

Rain started poured down harshly onto the alley pavement. As I headed to the back area of the club, I saw one boy had been chased by a group of man. It seemed he would break down or passed out in any time as he looked so weak, seemed had just been beaten up. As I thought, he stumbled onto the muddy road and had been harshly grabbed by those chasers.

“What’s going on here?”

 I voiced out once I stepped closer to them. That was the moment where I had been caught by a strange feeling as the boy that was still half-laying near my feet, looked up at me. At first, I thought his face was familiar to me, but when his big-doe like eyes kept stared up at me, seemed pleading for help just like…

Suddenly, the face of the woman that had let out her last breath in my held a month ago, flashed back into my mind. Also the picture of her son that she had on her screen phone...

I dazed on my spot. At that moment, I seemed been enamored by those big doe-like eyes for the first time. But something in those eyes just couldn’t be read, as it looked empty… That was the first time I saw him in the state that I wished I don’t want to see it again.

That fragile body of him shivered in the cold of night and his face smeared with tears; crying to be free.

Then a sudden realization knocked me. He had lived in the presence of people who had kept watching him with eyes full of nefarious intend, and never stopped to show him their beasty look.

How many days this boy was been tortured and had lived with feeling of pain and afraid?

That emptiness, but yet looked fearful and pain was actually caused by me.... That was the first time too when I had took into an action without spend a second to think. But…never once I regretted with taking him. As afterward, I found he was actually an angel that had been sent to me. He had brought a new light into my life and had turned me into someone that was totally different from the person that I used to be.

Day by day, I’m Jung Yunho who fear of nothing, instead being feared of, had slowly turned to feel fear for the first time…

Fear of losing him. That was a pathetic reason of why I had decided to keep him from knowing the truth.

[End of flashback]

*

I snapped out from my trance, once my phone vibrated. Grabbed the device I read the new message that had been sent to me. A gush of relief suddenly overwhelmed me as I read the text message.

Finally…I found you, boo.

*

[Jaejoong  P.O.V]

“Aww… a new cutie helper!” I heard one of the café’s customers uttered when I was cleaning the table behind them.

 “The café is about to close. So, please… the door to exit is there.” Suddenly a cold voice of someone spoke be