At the SMent main building

When we met at home

"Wait, what?!" said a loud voice.

"Thats, right, i want you guys to take a 5 week break, in a town in America." a deep voice said.

"Ok, first, why do we have to do this? and second, where are we going?" said the loud voice.

(outside the room)

"Oh!!!! we're going to be taking a break!" a voice with a musical note to it said.

"Really, Taemin, be reasonable, why do you think so?" said another voice.

"I don't know! that's what i'm trying to hear! so please be quiet, hyung!" said Taemin.

(back in the main room)

"Ok, so, forget why we're doing this, but, we're going to a city in North Carolina? And where exacly is this city?" said the loud voice.

"Jonghyun...sigh... you're going to a city called, Hickory." said the deep voice."

"Never heard of the  place..." said Jonghyun.

"That's why we wanted you guys to go there. And i really hope no one hears of this... we must keep it a secret! Do you understand? You too, guys! Yes the ones listening at the door!!!" said the deep voice.

the door creaks open...

"Ahh, Manager Ma, how did you know?" said Taemin.

"Ahh, how could he not know?" said a really deep voice.

"I see you know what goes inside the head of a manger, Minho." said the manager.

"Yes, I sent Taemin to see if what i thought was correct... I see that i was correct!" said Minho.

"Ok guys, go and pack up!"

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Comments

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oliviardo
#1
Chapter 5: your poster is fabulous! its so pretty! continue the story, because I think your central idea is interesting and should be expanded on. practicing and other's input is what gets you to good writing.
big-bang-SHINee-SNSD
#2
Chapter 5: Update soon!
Kjerena
#3
Chapter 5: What HaruSensei said about the plot is sort of true, I think. Who will she get entangled with? Maybe Jonghyun? Or Taemin?
But I like it! :D so PLEASE update!
PS: Raul is not her first love, right? The guy who they saw at the amusement park together with Jongyuns 'girlfriend'?
HaruSensei #4
These are just my opinions though. I hope it helps and if not, sorry :)
HaruSensei #5
Well hi! I read the story. I think the problem is the character introduction that you haven't done well. I'm pretty confused about what the plot even is about. There's not such a really clear setting either. Maybe you shouldn't change the font when you're trying to state the POV either but that's just my opinion.
kpoploverlee2
#6
SO, when I was reading this to my sis, and she said all this was uncoordinated...... can someone else give me their opinions