Chapter 04

THE MOST ABSURD EXO STORY IN THE HISTORY

So Sehun was hopelessly in love with Luhan. A week had already passed by since they had been at Luhan's house and since the last time he had been able to see the love of his life. After that day, Sehun became a walking corpse; he was walking into walls, refusing to eat, lockin' himself up in his room, watching cheesy love movies and listening to PSYs Gangnam Style all night long and daydreaming... it was all hopeless and Kris and KrisAh couldn't help but worry about their son's condition, so that they even tried to install a camera into his room to make sure he wouldn't commit suicide, but Sehun caught them redhanded and destroyed their surveillance system. 
 
It was really late and after walking countless circles in his room, Sehun finally fell asleep.


Sehun was lost in a desert, in the middle of the EXO planet. There was nothing but endless amounts of sand as far as his eyes could see. He was about to die because of the lack of water and food. He kept on walking, it was so hot, hot hot hot summer. "How the hell is there a desert here? And how did I come here?!" he thought as he was crawling on the ground. 
 

"Ohooo Sehun, look over here... I am here!!!" 


Sehun raised his head abruptly. He was sure that he had just heard a voice. Not just an ordinary voice, a voice sweet like candy. A voice that could not be from this planet... The way that person called his name melted his whole heart more than the heat of the desert.

Then Sehun discovered the source of the angelic voice that filled his head and his whole body. Luhan was standing on a hill, wearing a purple bathsuit only, holding a Hello Kitty toy in his hands and touching himself ily and wavin' at Sehun and makin' signals to come to him. Was he trying to seduce Sehun? Sehun's blood gathered up all in his pants and he stood up quickly and ran to Luhan's side as fast as he could. No, he was not just running, he was literally rolling up the hill like a buffalo. Sehun used to be in the Teen Buffalo-Rolling Team, but he got kicked out of the team 'cause he was the laziest ever. Not that he wasn't talented, he just hated to move himself.

"Luhaaaaaaaaan ~~~" 

As soon as Sehun reached where Luhan stood, he looked at him, his heart beating down to his stomach and then down to his.... you nam saying.... and he started to sweat, losing the ground under his feet, his tongue hanging out and panting like a dog.
 
"Sehuuuunnniee... I was waiting for you" Luhan winked which made Sehun lose all his control.

"Luhaaaaaaaaaaaaan ~~~ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" just when he reached out his hand to touch Luhan's perfect tiny belly, the cutiepie Luhan turned into a huge scary icebear. An icebear in the middle of a desert, nothing is impossible in the exo planet. So Sehun started to run...run and run and run and then "WHAAAAAAAAAAT THE HEELL!!!" he bumped into another thing and the icebear disappeared. The sun was shining directly into his eyes so he couldn't see well and he stepped a little aside to see what he had bumped into.

A tall boy, around 1.85m, wearing a blue tanktop and Gucci sunglasses, showing off his wushu skills. After he was done with his performance, he bowed and took his sunglasses off. What a poser. His eyes were really intense, it almost hurt to look straight into them. Everything seemed perfect... except for the long white beard, which looked like from a cheap Halloween costume and seemed out of place. WHAT THE ?! Why does have a white beard?! The boy looked at Sehun, Sehun looked back at him, the boy looked, Sehun looked back,...

Then he finally stepped closer to Sehun who was still looking at him, confused, but the stranger didn't lose track and just put his arm around Sehun shamelessly, making him feel more uncomfortable. 

"Finally we met!" The boy spoke and smiled for the first time. Okay, Sehun had to admit, his smile was cute. Compared to his tough look, his smile made him look innocent. 

But Sehun still gave him a confused look. He didn't really feel at ease around people he didn't know.

"Don't look at me like this! I walked all the way to here to find you! Why the hell are you even dreaming about this place?! Couldn't you chose a more... well... comfortable place to dream? A restaurant or something, there isn't even a place to eat..."

"Excuse me what?" Sehun loosened himself from the boy's arms surrounding him. "You are the one appearing in my dream, I can't even remember inviting you, and now you complain about the location -"

"Whatever, Sehun, I am here to help you" he said as he put his sunglasses back on.
 
The boy knew Sehun's name... and who was he? Was he a boy that had grown a beard and dyed it white to look edgy or was he actually an old man caught in a young man's body...Sehun kept looking at him. This guy was seriously weird... 

"Oh right, I haven't introduced myself... my name is TaoTao, Gucci Gucci, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, Prada...but basic es wear dat so I don't even bothaaa" he laughed and shook his head. Had he just tried to be funny?

"WHAT?" Sehun felt like he was getting trolled. Can I just please wake up? It is getting too weird, I need to wake up ASAP!

"But you can simply call me Tao... I am a dreamcatcher. I heard about your love story and I am here to help you to win over Luhan's heart. We don't have time to lose..."

"A DREAMCATCHER?!" Sehun bursted out. Tao raised one of his eyebrows and then started to laugh.

"But not just an ordinary dreamcatcher... come with me!" Tao looked around and then pushed Sehun forward using both of his hands.

"Now sit!" A bench appeared from nowhere and the two boys sit down against all Sehun's confusing. Was he still dreaming or was this reality? How came he didn't wake up yet and it all felt so real? Sehun was sure there was nothing here just some seconds ago where the bench was now. Tao guy was so weird and secretly scaring Sehun.

Tao leaned closer to Sehun and whispered "I can also do magic... I can do many things!"

"You don't have to whisper! There is nobody around and we are in a .... dream...."

Tao leaned back and gave one of his cute smiles that reminded of a small puppy.

"Smart kid" he said making a "\\//" sign. "I have many advices to give to you. Luhan will be yours soon. She will-"

"Luhan is not a she. She is a he!" Urgh and that guy said he knows about my situation? And just because I said he don't have to whisper doesn't mean he has to now scream...weirdo, his cute smile is no use. His smile it not even cute, its scary!

Tao raised one of his eyebrows and tried to catch up "She is a boy? Are you gay?!"

Sehun looked pissed at Tao. Sehun was not gay!  "No I am a Luhomo"

"Luhomo... Understand. Whatever... first we need to get out of this dream. Can you please lean your head closer to me?"

For a moment Sehun just wanted to stand up and walk away. He looked around. Sand sand sand sand and more sand and slowly sighed. There was no way to run away and his body was strictly fighting against waking up.

"Why should I lean my head to your direction. What if you are just waiting for a good opportune to tear my head from my body. What if you are a murderer... I mean by the look of you, I wouldn't be suprised!"

But Tao didn't even blink with an eye which weirdly reminded Sehun of his father. "If you want to get Luhan, do as I say!"Tao ordered.

By the word Luhan, Sehun's heart immidately started to melt. He would do anything for Luhan. He wouldn't even care if this Tao Gucci person would tear his head into thousand of pieces. For Luhan he would get the stars from the sky, turn the exo planet into a paradise just for him... because the truth was;

He'd catch a grenade for Luhannie
Throw his hand on a blade for Luhannie
He'd jump in front of a train for Luhannie
You know he'd do anything for Luhannie

He would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through his brain
Yes, he would die for Luhannie, baby

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!" Sehun framed his head with both of his hands and pressed his eyes close because of the pain he felt. Tao really did kill him. He was dead. This pain was the proof of it. He must have squashed his head... Sehun slowly opened his eyes and tried to see something. DARK! HE WAS DEAD! He didn't see anything... peep peep peep... he heard something. Was God calling him? Was it time for his confessions? Was he really dead before he could get with Luhan? He was ready to complain to God and tell him how unfair that all was... till he realized that he was actually sitting on his bed in his room, checking his body several times that he was complete. Sehun reached to the night lamp to turn on the lights and then wiped the sweat from his head with the back of his hands. "Thanks God it was just a dream! But why this pain it- WHAAT THE ACTUAL-"

"Hey! Nice room!" Tao grinned.

 

Note: okay lol. this chapter is such a fail hahahaha i was in such a "hurry" but i still wanted to update. now finally Tao is in the story too... next chapter Kai will also appear and other exo members... xD

i didnt checked the grammer. i bet there are loads of mistakes... but...who cares!

 

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cloudyseoul
who wants this story to be updated? lol

Comments

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NoBodY_KnoWs_Me
#1
I want this story to be update ^^
NoBodY_KnoWs_Me
#2
Update soon
Fiza98
#3
Chapter 4: I actually played this story a little bit, with dolls! XD It's unique and really funny! XD
Milchfrau #4
Thankyouthnakyouthankyou! *runs off and cries on a cliff
Milchfrau #5
Please update soon! Dying right here...
irai999
#6
Can't...stop...laughing...ha ha XD!
cloudyseoul #7
omg my readers are the best!!! i loveeee your comments! haha will update soooon!
Milchfrau #8
I ____ing love this. Seriously. Update or I will smack yo .
Kirsten
#9
D____O What is this f***ery!?
Hahah
IM READYYYY~~