It’s quiet. That’s all she can think, as she sits on the bed and slowly pulls off her tights. It’s the end of the day; she finished work late tonight, something she usually hates, but something that has become almost a blessing as of late. Joonmyun barely even recognises her presence when she comes home – what’s the point of prolonging the amount of time they have to spend together? It’ll just break her heart that bit more.

If he was here, and they were back to where they were before, he’d be tugging off her tights for her. He’d do it roughly, stupidly, and then there would be huge ladders down both legs and she’d chastise him for ruining yet another pair of tights. But then, he’d kiss shut and she’d forget to care because he was Joonmyun and because she loved him so much that the ruined tights were really rather insignificant.

If he was really here, she reminds herself, he wouldn’t even be in the room with her, let alone actually deign to sit next to her. He can’t even look at her – why would he dare to touch her in a way that a husband touches his wife?

So she balls up the tights and throws them in the corner of the room, arms wrapping around her legs as she presses her face into her knees to stop the flow of tears. She doesn’t want to cry. She doesn’t need to cry, and the rational part of her is telling her it’s probably just the hormones but she really doesn’t give a . Why is it that, as Jongdae and Yixing’s relationship deepens, her own falls apart?

Her heart hurts because it’s not fair, and yet – for all his cruel ignorance – she still understands just why Joonmyun is so angry. She knows – even if it pisses her off to see him act so goddamn hard done by – that this is big. She might be playing the saint, she might be doing something good – but Joonmyun is very sure that this is a betrayal and she can’t quite convince herself that he’s wrong.

Because maybe it is. Maybe it’s wrong to have their baby before she even thinks of having his. Maybe she doesn’t deserve his sympathy because she’s broken his heart. Perhaps she should have paid attention to the doubts in the pit of her stomach, but what’s done is done.

She can’t take this baby back, and she won’t. It’s not hers, no, but she’s been entrusted with the task of bringing it to life, and even though her heart is slowly breaking from the knowledge that Joonmyun may never forgive her, she can’t believe that it’s not worth it.

Sometimes, other peoples’ smiles are worth more than your own happiness, and this time, she knows it’s true. Jongdae and Yixing are her friends; they deserve to be able to have their own family, and it just so happens that she can provide them with a way to have one.

But in her heart of hearts, she knows that she’s ed up big time. She’s slowly begun to realise that she chose the wrong time to play the hero; that she’s ripped a hole in Joonmyun’s heart and it’s already started to fester.

And all she can do is wait for him to come home like the faithful little housewife she isn’t. She knows he’s out drinking; she knows this because it’s something she would have joined him in, before. But now she can’t drink and he can’t look at her – they’re at a stalemate, and there’s no hint of reconciliation.

She thinks his silence is what hurts the most.

This is meant to be the first of fifty ficlets, inspired by the prompts in this challenge. I may come back to it one day, because the world I'm trying to create with it is an interesting one. Essentially, the main pairing is Suho/OC, centred around the fact that the OC has become a surrogate mother for Jongdae and Yixing. The idea is, that as Jongdae and Yixing become happier, Suho and his wife's relationship is almost destroyed because he can't stand the fact she had someone else's baby before she had his. I liked the idea of another couple almost ruining another in a way that wasn't romantic at all.