He’s got the blues. It doesn’t scare him. He has them all the time; bleak periods of time when everything feels depressing and he’s not sure of the last time he was happy. He listens to sad songs and sings along. It’s Big Bang’s Blue, right now. One lyric repeats itself over and over in his head. Singing my blues… He draws the word ‘blues’ out as G-Dragon does and ignores everything else.

Nobody comes near him. They say he’s in a foul mood and unbelievably grumpy. They tell everyone to stay away unless they want their heads bitten off. He thinks they don’t understand. They try to, but they don’t. His personality lends itself to extended periods of melancholy; theirs do not.

It might be how long he’s been waiting to debut. He was supposed to debut in a huge group called Super Junior, but they’re still going strong with no word of him ever joining. His music teachers think it’s a waste of talent, and grumble about it, sick of teaching stick thin girls who can barely reach the notes who debut as soon as they’ve got one song down. They don’t want to teach boys who are meant to be dancers, and yet only appear to be good at one dance.

He’s unhappy about it, but there’s nothing he can do. He passes by the others in his class, who give him wary looks. Maybe it’s not totally unwarranted. He did snap at Jongdae a little too hard yesterday.

He’s sick of being left out and sick of being unhappy about it. His nearly-band members met him once, to see how he fit. They left with laughter and assurances he’d fit right in. Ryeowook and Jongwoon thought their voices worked perfectly with his, and Sungmin made plans to go drinking with him some time. And then nothing happened after that. There was some talk of sub groups that he might be added into, but they all fell through.

And now he has to watch some bazillion member group debut out into the adoring public. EXO-K and EXO-M. He’s not too old to be in either, and yet they still bypass him. Every time, it never works out and he’s beginning to think he’ll never ever debut. Not even as a solo singer. People never even notice him, except when he snaps.

When he has the blues, he thinks about breaking his contract and going back to university and doing Law, like he was supposed to. But he can’t. His parents might be able to afford the fees his breaking his contract will cost, but they won’t be happy about it. It’s been year after year of nothing already. They’re constantly asking when he will debut. He doesn’t have anything to tell them.

He’s cried about it, once or twice. He sacrificed so much to get here, and they just leave him. It wasn’t like this when he auditioned. He can remember. They looked approving, like they’d seen something they wanted. There’d been murmuring, whispers of bands they could slip him into. Talent that couldn’t go to waste.

But they have let it go to waste. And now they’re debuting a load of members, some who’ve been here a shorter length of time than he has. It’s okay, some of them have been here a while. He knows that Yi Xing and Kevin (or Yi Fan, he’s not entirely sure what the kid’s name is as he’s Chinese-Canadian) were afraid that this was their last chance. He does not begrudge them their good luck.

Except he does, and he knows it’s really not fair.

***

It takes another couple of months for something exciting to happen in Kyuhyun’s life. He spends most of his time on his laptop. His thinking is that he should just spend his time becoming a master at StarCraft if they’re never going to debut him. Sometimes he misses vocal training and dance classes. It’s deliberate; it’s his ‘ you’ to the company. If they aren’t going to do anything with him, why bother trying to learn to sing to the best of his ability?

They can reprimand him, he really won’t care.

That is, until they call him in for a meeting. This is it, he thinks. They’re letting me go. As he sits outside an office he hazily wonders if another company like JYP will take him, and he curses at the idea of having to go through auditions again. He’s too old; at twenty-four, he’s getting a little long in the tooth. They want to debut eighteen year olds, not people like him.

But instead, when he walks into the office, he is greeted with smiles. Kyuhyun, they say. We’re going to put you in a duo. You’ll debut in China.

He blinks. It does not make sense to him, as they talk of his new partner and how they are aiming at the Chinese market. His voice will go wonderfully with this Zhou Mi’s, they tell him. They’re aiming to break the Chinese market once and for all, with EXO-M having not long debuted, and this new duo.

He can only thank them desperately. He knows he sounds like he’s choked up, and it’s because he is. It’s not very dignified as he shakes their hands vigorously and promises to be the best damn singer he can be, but this is his chance. His parents won’t have to worry anymore; he can justifiably call himself a singer and his sister won’t roll her eyes at the title.

But he saves the real tears for when he gets back to his room. He shakily presses play on some ridiculously loud metal song and sobs out of sync with the beat. His throat tightens and his cheeks grow puffy but he doesn’t care. No one can hear him, and that’s all he needs.

He’s no longer redundant. Nothing but that matters.

***

The man he is supposed to sing with is tall, whippet-thin and Chinese. He speaks very broken Korean and smiles in place of speaking actual sentences.

Kyuhyun begins to wonder if they will ever get on.

He is mercurial; grumpy and sarcastic. Zhou Mi is perpetually smiley and barely speaks an understandable word of Korean. Even the Chinese members of EXO-M were better than this, and a couple of them (Kris/Kevin/Yi Fan – he’s still not sure of the name) were absolutely e.

But their new manager suggests they go eat together, ‘get to know one another’. Kyuhyun cannot disagree because he is unwilling to do anything to jeopardise this precarious promise of a debut.

He takes Zhou Mi to a restaurant he likes the food of, tries to be polite and not eat like a pig. Zhou Mi spends the entire night smiling at him and asks inane questions about the food. It’s the sort of thing that would be adorable if Kyuhyun was the sort of person who liked lost, gangling men. Unfortunately, he doesn’t, and so he is forced to grit his teeth as he corrects Zhou Mi’s pronunciation for the umpteenth time that night.

He can’t deny that Zhou Mi’s a nice guy though.

***

They’re told they have to move in together. They share the same room, a bunk bed each. Kyuhyun claims the top one first, and doesn’t even try to be civil about it. But Zhou Mi doesn’t question it, and only smiles at Kyuhyun again. It pisses Kyuhyun off.

They sing together, sleep in the same room, learn dances and eat at the same time. There’s no escape from the man. He doesn’t get how Zhou Mi can remain so damn cheerful when he can’t speak the language, and Kyuhyun’s own attempts at Mandarin aren’t going so well yet.

He’s trying, he really is. His teachers say his progress is good, considering he’s never learnt it before. But he’s nowhere near good enough to hold proper, fluent conversations yet, and Zhou Mi is chatty but Kyuhyun doesn’t actually think what he says makes sense, so he can only grunt in response.

Their voices to fit together, however. They complement each other, and the vocal teacher only ever corrects pitch and pronunciation. It’s never about their harmonising or if they’re not in time. It amuses Kyuhyun, because Zhou Mi concentrates so hard during this time, that his ears actually get a rest from the weird Korean -Mandarin hybrid Zhou Mi chatters in.

He spends most of his time either listening to Zhou Mi talk, or learning as much Mandarin as he can in his spare time. StarCraft has been all but abandoned, and this is what he regrets most. But he can’t afford the distraction. He has to be able to live and breathe the language in time for his debut. A small part of him also thinks it might make the awkwardness between him and Zhou Mi a little easier if learns it faster, too.

Another part of him thinks it won’t ever go. That worries him; he can’t afford to not like the other part of his duo.

***

In their fourth month of training, something does change, however. Kyuhyun comes into their shared room to find an unusually disconsolate Zhou Mi slumped on his bunk bed. His immediate thought is oh , because he’s really not good with comforting people.

He tries a cautious hey, and receives nothing in return. A shiver of shock runs through him because this is not normal and oh god, who broke Zhou Mi’s non-stop voice-box?

He attempts an are you okay? next. Zhou Mi shrugs and brushes wetness from underneath his eyes. A tear drips down his nose rather unattractively, and Kyuhyun is forced into the observation that it is quite big, and SM may want him to get it fixed. He says nothing about it, because he’s not that insensitive.

Kyuhyun sighs, and goes for the big guns. “What’s wrong?” he asks, hoping he won’t get a lengthy explanation he’ll have to try to care about.

Zhou Mi swallows, and all he catches are the words homesick and parents in Korean before the mumbling stops and he goes back down to looking at his long fingers. Kyuhyun rolls his shoulders.

“When did you last go home?” Kyuhyun doesn’t know why he’s curious, but he is. He hasn’t actually visited his parents in a while either, but he supposes it is different when your parents live in a whole other country and phone bills must .

“More than a year ago.” Zhou Mi manages to say it in Korean.

Kyuhyun grimaces. That’s a long time. A very long time. He doesn’t know if he could cope with being away from everything he knows for that long, but suddenly he realises that is what he’ll have to do, soon. He moves to sit next to Zhou Mi on the bunk bed. Not because they’re really friends yet, but, well, he can’t leave the poor guy like this. He’s emotionally awkward, not totally oblivious.

Hesitantly, he reaches an arm over Zhou Mi’s shoulder. To his surprise (and semi-panic, if he is honest), Zhou Mi makes a strange, choked sound and lays his head in the crook of his neck. If it was any other situation, Kyuhyun would move away, but he can’t. He can’t be so cruel as to leave someone so upset alone.

He thinks that some of his rudimentary Mandarin will be helpful here. “It will be okay.” He mutters in Mandarin, patting the shoulder his hand rests on. Zhou Mi nods.

“Thanks.” He whispers back in Korean.

It makes Kyuhyun smile.

***

Zhou Mi does not mention the episode the next day. Instead, he offers to help tutor Kyuhyun in Mandarin. He tells Kyuhyun it will probably help the both of them, and Kyuhyun accepts the help. Anything that makes him sound more fluent is a bonus. Besides, it might help them debut quicker, and he’s pretty sure that’s a priority high on both of their lists.

He learns that Zhou Mi appears to be friends with every Chinese trainee in the industry, and so a lot of their evenings (when Kyuhyun just wanted to stay on the couch, and maybe drink his way through a bottle of wine by himself) consist of gaggles of very pretty Chinese people nattering with Zhou Mi. But they do tend to bring alcohol, so there’s that.

Sometimes he thinks these impromptu parties are helping his Mandarin so he tries to hold conversations with as many of them as he can. Other times, he thinks it’s just a massive disturbance and would rather be at home. He never brings his own friends over, although he has quite a few. He prefers to go out somewhere with them because they’re his friends, and he’s a little paranoid they might like Zhou Mi better if they meet him.

Because everyone seems to love Zhou Mi, and Kyuhyun appears to be the only one not completely under his spell. But they don’t have to live with him, he thinks. They don’t have to deal with his over-helpfulness and never-ending smiles all the time. He’s aware he could just try to spend all the time he doesn’t have to be with Zhou Mi out, yet he doesn’t.

He hasn’t quite figured out why yet.

***

Seven months into their training together, Kyuhyun is pronounced fluent enough to debut. He knows he’s not, really, but they assure him he’ll pick it up easily enough once he’s actually in China. They have a song composed for them, and apparently Zhou Mi has had a hand in the lyrics. They spend weeks learning it, along with the dance that goes with it, and Kyuhyun attempts to hear Zhou Mi in the lyrics.

He can’t. They’re a bit mournful, about the pain of lost love and such, and it surprises him to think that Zhou Mi may have hidden depths. Perhaps there is more to him than the smiles?

He’s not sure whether or not it’s a good idea to find out.

The company are meticulous about their image. They get new hair-cuts and hair colours, and scrutinise Kyuhyun’s body. Zhou Mi is thin enough; it is Kyuhyun they consider dieting to anorexia. Fortunately, they decide not to go that far. He’s told to eat a little less and work out a little more, and that they’re keeping an eye on him. He’s not allowed to eat as much as he usually does.

Kyuhyun resents Zhou Mi a bit for this. If he wasn’t so damn skinny, Kyuhyun wouldn’t look bigger next to him, and he wouldn’t be forced to stop eating. If Zhou Mi weren’t so good at dancing, Kyuhyun wouldn’t look like he had two left feet next to him. Even the one thing he thought he had over others, singing, doesn’t look quite so impressive next to Zhou Mi.

They tell him he has to be respectful towards Zhou Mi when they debut on TV shows; he’s got to call him ‘gege’ on air in China, hyung if they ever debut in Korea (which they are apparently considering for next year). Kyuhyun’s never thought about the fact that Zhou Mi is actually older than him; to be honest, the fact that Zhou Mi’s such a unicorn fairy sometimes makes him seem younger.

It feeds the resentment. He’s never been very respectful anyway; being forced to call a man he’s still not sure about ‘gege’ seems like more of an issue than it is.

When Zhou Mi’s horde of friends throw them a congratulation party (or maybe it’s just for Zhou Mi; Kyuhyun kind of feels like an afterthought) some of them get quite pissed and corner him at one in the morning. They tell him he’s got to look after Zhou Mi, because he always pushes himself too hard and sometimes forgets to eat, so make sure he doesn’t kill himself okay? Kyuhyun eyes them blearily for a minute before muttering ‘Whatever’ and wondering if his friends have done that to Zhou Mi. He thinks not; they know he’s okay as long as you don’t let him get too drunk and find someone to fix his computer when it breaks before he has a panic attack.

It’s another hint that there’s more to Zhou Mi than the smile. And Kyuhyun still doesn’t want to deal with that. He’d rather keep Zhou Mi in his designated file of ‘annoyance’.

***

Their debut is delayed by two months, in the end.

What happens is that Zhou Mi strains his vocal chords, and is therefore not allowed to sing in case he damages them anymore. Kyuhyun seethes quietly for the first month and refuses to talk to Zhou Mi properly. They were so close, so ing close to debuting, and then he ruins it.

He doesn’t consider the fact that Zhou Mi has probably done this because he was trying to be perfect for their debut. No, all he can see is that Zhou Mi has postponed his chance again, and he’s been waiting too long to be okay with that. He doesn’t think that maybe Zhou Mi feels the same way, or that maybe Zhou Mi could be even more worried because he’s older than Kyuhyun and will have even less of a chance of another debut if this one doesn’t work out.

Those thoughts only come to his mind when, once again, he finds Zhou Mi looking unusually upset on his bed. Kyuhyun is even less accommodating than the last time he found him like this.

He sighs, rolling his eyes. “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t even try to hide his impatience.

To his utter shock, Zhou Mi seems sort of…angry himself. “Go away.” It’s in Mandarin, and for a short second, Kyuhyun wants to know if he realises he’s not said it in Korean, before stepping back.

“Fine.” He snaps back in Korean. If he’s going to act like he’s on his period or some , Kyuhyun doesn’t need to deal with it.

He almost doesn’t hear the sob as he storms away to leave. He whirls around, not prepared for the sight of full-fledged tears. He wants to leave, to go be angry somewhere else, but he can’t. He can’t because leaving someone to cry like that is one of the worst things you can do, despite how angry you are.

The bed dips down when he sits next to Zhou Mi. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t have a clue what to say.

“Go away.” Zhou Mi says again, this time sounding unsure. “I don’t want you here.”

Tough, Kyuhyun thinks. They have to stay together if they are going to be a duo, and he just…doesn’t want to see someone cry like that. “I don’t care.” He tells him in Mandarin.

Zhou Mi wants to push him away, to tell him to off and leave because he’s clearly pissed about their debut being delayed. He wants to tell him he’s just as angry about it, because he’s worked so damn hard and being a singer, an entertainer is all he’s ever thought of being. He wants to yell at Kyuhyun for just being naturally perfect at singing, because the reason his voice is strained is because he practised so hard to be as good, maybe even better.

“It’s alright for you.” Zhou Mi mumbles in shaky Korean. “You sing perfectly without trying.” He can’t think of anything to say, and he already regrets saying that. He shifts to the right, so Kyuhyun’s not so close.

Kyuhyun laughs. He knows he shouldn’t, but the short splutter of laughter is the only way he can think to respond. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He is slightly flattered, to tell the truth, but it’s still annoying to hear that.

“It’s not.” Zhou Mi responds sullenly. “And you don’t even like me, why the are you here?” Kyuhyun is taken aback by the venom.

“It’s not that I don’t like you…” He tries. It’s not a lie, but it’s also not true. He’s somewhere between dislike and disinterest, and he doesn’t think Zhou Mi’s ever known anyone who didn’t like him.

Zhou Mi makes a rather uncouth noise. “Kui Xian, admit it. You don’t like me. And you’re pissed at me for ruining our debut.”

Kui Xian. It’s his Chinese name; the name he will go by in China – a name he will become familiar with. It sounds a little more exotic coming from Zhou Mi than it did his manager.

A/N: Uh. This has been a work in progress for a very long time. Again, I do intend to finish it. Just not yet as I have no inspiration for anything. ._.