Author: candyforlove

Story Title: You are my Oppa (Brother) ! [EXO K Members]

Requested for: Review

Reviewer: iceceam1234

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Title [4/5]

I found that your title was a little... awkward, but it was informative and I liked how you put '(Brother)' for people who don't know what oppa was, but I found that the title wasn't very interesting or eye-catching enough (in my personal opinion) for me to ever catch my eye. I also think that you could probably just put [EXO K] instead of adding the 'members' part, or just get rid of it and tag 'exok' for your story.

Foreword / Description [8/10]

There's a few mistakes on your foreword and description, and I really don't like how HUGE your red words are. They're eye-catching, but too eye-catching for my liking. I would have probably went to the previous page and not read the story. I also think it would be nice if you gave them a little piece of your writing style in the description because people usually read the foreword to see if the author's writing style and if the storyline would be interesting. Just... give them something to gain interest in your story.

Grammar and spelling:

Now I am doing the counterparts too.

This will be a series of one shots for each EXO K member.

There's a few more, but I didn't put them on because they were pretty obvious. Run spell check on the foreword and description too.

Total [12/15]

Originality [25/30]

Brotherly love isn't really what you find often in the AFF story list. The stories were decent enough in originality, though they were a little bit cliché, they weren't horrible. They are just one-shots, so there's only a limited amount of things you can do, so it's understandable. I also liked a lot how you make all of the one shots really different from each other.

Storyline [28/30]

I liked all of the story lines for the one shots. They were all quite unique on their own.

Grammar / Spelling [15/20]

Now, this is where I dock some points off. There are quite a few spelling mistakes, and grammar mistakes that have taken place in your story. First off, sometimes, you forget to put 'I' in capital. I suggest that you read it over and edit it a few times before posting so that you can avoid little technical errors like that. Also, when a person speaks, you don't put a period in the end, you put a comma, unless it's indicated that the person is speaking before the quotations take place. For example:

“The dog is gone.” He said.

“The dog is gone,” he said.

He spoke in a soft whisper. “You love me.”

He spoke in a soft whisper, “you love me.”

It's a little confusing, I know, but once you understand it, it's easy. Also, if it's just the person speaking, like :

“You need to go.”

Without anything saying who it was that said this sentence, there's a period at the end.

Also, 'oppa' has no capital.

Finally, please don't put more than three periods in a row because it is an incorrect use of grammar. Instead, say something like:

“He told me that he loved me...” Eunha paused.

Speed / Flow of Story [14.5/15]

Since all of these are one-shots, the flow for all of them were a hair too fast for my liking, but they were great.

Total [82.5/95]

Writing Style / Neatness [12.5/15]

I found your writing style a bit too formal for such a casual story. It would be better if you used contractions in your writing for words like, does not and you are. If you're so formal, it makes the story seem very rigid and cold to the audience, as if it was a regal paper of some sort. Also, I personally do not enjoy 'you' stories, because of the '~~~~ah' thing, but you didn't use it very much, so it was okay. I personally find that if you're going to use 'you' that you should try to avoid using '~~~~' as much as possible because it distracts the readers too much.

Characterization/ Development [14.5/15]

I found the characters very normal and interesting to read about. They were very brotherly, and they were all the kind of brother that you wish you had.

Overall Enjoyment / Captivity [8/10]

I enjoyed it a lot. The one shots were all very sweet and cute, and they were all very fun to read about. There were a few times when I trailed off and went to work on something else, but I came back to it and finished it later on. You did a good job!

Total [129.5/150] [86/100]

Notes from the Reviewer: It was good! I think you should try writing in third or first person next time though. A lot of people hate 'you' stories. I think if you had a really awesome story line you could build on, it could become a really well-written and amazing story. Fighting!

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Author's note:
I would like to thank iceceam1234 for reviewing my one shots and LaitaoP for approving my review application.

If anyone of you would like to have your review done, please visit

Prodigious! Graphics and Review Shop — 『o p e n !』

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Hello my dear friends,

It's candyforlove here. TA-DA! I have my first review done and it's amazing. I was so excited to read it when i found that my review was done. As you can see, my one shots isn't anywhere near perfect.

As mentioned above, there are lots of mistakes that i made while writing. But i will not change any mistakes made. I will keep it as the way it were. This is so because when i read these one shots in the future, i would be able to know what mistakes that i did and what i have learnt from this.

By this review, i hope that i can improve my writing skills and be better in the future. :)

To all my subscribers and those who have commented, thank you so much for your time to read my one shots. I really appreciate it although my one shots is not as perfect as some one shots out there.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! :)