Running? Really?

Whats your name?

 

“Hey” Kurogane questioned. 

I turned to find him once again running next to me, so I rotated back to my original position running faster to keep up.

“ Yes Kuro~ney how may I help you” I chimed simply.

“Your name.” He retorted.

“Yes? I hope you know it, we’ve been on this journey for quite some time now.” I stated with a sort of sarcasm only I could use, but seeing as it was Kuro~roo we were talking about, I’d only half hoped he would take my dodging of the question as a signal that I did /not/ want to answer. 

“Fine” He said in his low flat voice reserved for the very few times that he was truly upset. “Don’t tell me”.

After skidding to a halt behind an old dilapidated building to catch our breaths, mostly so Sakura could catch up, we sat in the dark alley way hiding from Rekord police.

Oh yah we stole the book of memories.

Well the source of the books power was one of the feathers we’ve been looking, so we had no choice.

Although the feather /did/ technically belong to Sakura, the Rekord police and central librarians weren’t very pleased with us or our little performance.

Our faces had been plastered all over the city even Monkana’s.

Flashing red lights on wanted billboards hovered over the city accompanied by this obnoxious siren which was being blasted all thought out the cities PA system. 

 

 

 

Authors note~~~~ So hey, I've finnaly updated this story so hoepfully I'll have the next part done today as well. If I can pull that off it will be quite an impressive feat. Anyway post a comment, they make my day ^^ Criticism is greatly appreciated it will only make me better.

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CharismaticFlameB-3
#1
/just read all 4 chapters.

Well.
It definitly improved ( A LOT ) after each chapter!
There some grammar mistakes like comma placement and akward sentences...
BUT.
I still think this did pretty well.
/cute sly-Kuro-poo gettin' Fai all mad! xD

You should write more! Like if you have another draft laying or a present idea you think is cool! ^^
MintyTop
#2
Well... I'm not entirely sure how this fandom is, but it is very short. Each chapter that it. You could always use a little more descriptive words. How does the atmosphere feel? What are the main characters thoughts? What color is the skies, grass, buildings? Gloomy or bright and nice? You should work on the grammar a little bit more.

Grammar, being descriptive and the length of each chapter.
That's all I think.

ouo; Other then that it's good!