Days became more and more restless, as Keito and Airi’s family hears worsening news from her doctors. Keito, with the help of his dad, has seek for more specialists even overseas and lately, they’ve been looking for some bone marrow donor just in case Airi’s doctor would resolve to that.

 

At the hospital, Keito decided to stay overnight and he and Airi were just talking about random things; their friends, school, all the other good stuff. Her mom was nice enough to leave some snacks for them to munch on and was trusting them enough to let Keito look over Airi by himself.

 

He was patient to give Airi anything she ever needs and was attentive whenever a nurse or a doctor gives a visit.

That night, Keito fell asleep on a chair besides Airi’s bed, their hands laced together.

 

The next morning, Keito woke up only to find Airi out of her bed and he heard something from the washroom. When he opened it, there was Airi, looking like she wanted to throw up but nothing’s coming out. Keito rubbed her back gently and soon Airi felt tired and asked that she goes back to bed.

 

Keito hasn’t seen her like this; this worse. Quickly after her breakfast which Airi barely ate, Airi said that she wanted to sleep so Keito just sat beside her and kept rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. Hearing her sound asleep, Keito just realized his eyes going blurry – blurred by tears. He brushed them off quickly and cleared his throat; he felt it drying up too. 

 

To see his cheerful Airi like this, it’s just like a knife stabbing him. “If I can switch places with you, I would…”

 

Airi’s mom soon came and she asked Keito to go home to get some rest since he looks exhausted. But Keito insisted that he stays for a few more hours.

 

Noontime, Keito grabbed some lunch down the cafeteria and when he got back to Airi’s room, things were all messy and Airi’s mom was on the couch, crying. He hurried to her, “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

 

Keito heard some glasses shatter and quickly turned to the washroom. It almost made him lost everything when he saw Airi slouched on the floor, her hand bleeding, and the mirror broken. He quickly helped her up, Airi struggling a little, and was just crying. When Keito got her out of the washroom, she pushed him away and shouted, “I’m tired! I’m so tired of all of this!!!”

 

“Airi!”

 

She cried harder and her mother tried to approach her, “Airi, sweetie…”

 

“I’m not getting any better mom… No matter what we do…”

 

“Airi please…” Her mother tried to hold onto her but she shoved her away.

 

“Look at me!” she gestured at herself. “I’m not getting any better!”

 

Keito tried hard not to let himself cry; he must be strong now. He knew Airi was holding all of her pain inside, and now that she’s letting it all out, he has to be strong and take in everything. “That’s not true, you’ll be okay.” Airi's mom pleaded.

 

“When mom? When?”

 

Her mother just kept crying. “You’ll be okay…” that was all she kept saying under her tears.

 

“Airi please…” Keito spoke, trying to get closer to her.

 

“Aren’t you tired of all this Keito?”

 

“...What?”

 

“You should be tired.” She kept a cold stare, her hands bleeding more, “I’m tired.” Then as if things aren’t worse enough, Keito saw Airi actually holding a piece of broken glass. “Let’s just end this…” she said faintly and brought the glass to her wrist. As she was about to cut herself, Keito grabbed her hand.

 

“Stop it already Airi!”

 

“I just wanna end this!” she cried, fighting off Keito but his grip was strong. Airi’s mother just watched in shock at what her daughter tried to do and begged her to calm down but Airi just shouted, “I’m tired of calming down! I’m tired of trying to be okay! I’m tired of everything! Don’t you see, I just want it all to end!!!”

 

To Airi’s surprise, Keito snatched her hand holding the piece of glass and pointed it to his neck. “If you wanna kill yourself, then kill me first.”

 

Airi was staring at him, her eyes all red and swollen, her face pale and weak. There was that look of shock and confusion on her face.

 

“You want to die Airi, fine! But kill me first!"

 

Airi stared at him and he can see clearly the shock and disbelief in her eyes.

 

"... You think this isn't hard for all of us?" It was probably the first time Keito had spoken to her this way; harsh and angry. "You wanna end this? Go on ahead, but put an end to MY misery first." he kept her eyes on him; not wanting her to look away even for a second. Keito hated everything that he said, hated how he made her feel, but somehow, she has to know that it's not just her who's fighting here.

 

Airi loosened her hold a bit, her figure shaking a little as if trying to suppress a cry.

 

"There's no point in me living if you're not..." His lines came out like  a whisper, and somehow, like a plea. 

 

Airi cried, she couldn't say anything. She just cried.

 

"If you’re tired Airi, then we are too. We’re all tired.” Keito said, “I’m tired too, so kill me!” His shout was strong, authoritative in a way and Airi was shaking. “I’m telling you Airi, if only I could, I would take your place.” She cried, “If I could, I’d take the pain. I can’t stand to see you like this.”

 

She dropped the glass and just cried harder. She pushed herself on the wall and slid herself down, still, just crying. As she hit the floor, she brought her knees closer to her chest and kept crying, blood on her hands just staining her white dress.

 

Just exhausted, Keito slumped in front of Airi and forced her to look up, “Airi…”

 

She kept crying, her face just a mess, but behind those tears, Keito can see that gentle Airi she’s always been.

 

xXxXx

 

More treatments passed and it’s as if by miracle, her doctor said that Airi’s actually having positive responses lately; Feeling more optimistic than ever, Airi went through her treatments with more patience and hope.

 

Sadly, Keito had to be away for a week since he needs to visit his mother in England; he tried to call but at times he does, Airi couldn’t really talk to him and also she kind of wanted to surprise him with her gradual recovery.

 

On the day of Keito’s arrival back in Japan, it’s also the day that Airi got another 'okay' from her doctor to go home; this time, she and her family are more positive since Airi has been regaining her color and for once, she wasn’t feeling sick anymore. All her tests give her a green light to being back home, so the Suzukis were very hoping that this is for real this time.

 

Yamada and Shida helped her when she got out of the hospital, with the promise of not telling Keito about her recent condition. Airi wanted to surprise him with her improvements, though small, she wanted him to feel that she's not giving up and that she's actually seeing a brighter light now on this struggle of hers.

 

As she got home, happiness was short. While Yamada was helping her dad with some barbecue and she and her mom were preparing some fruits, Shida called out to Airi and Yamada.

 

“Airi…” she started, her face pale. “Yuto called just now…”

 

“Are they on their way?” Airi smiled, expecting to have time with her friends again.

 

“Ano…” Shida looked at Yamada who looked at her confusingly and worried at the same time, then she continued, “Keito got in an accident.”