It all started the winter Jongin was five years old. His family had just moved to a new neighborhood, and he was starting kindergarten at a brand new school, where he didn’t know anyone.

            His sisters had brushed his hair for him that morning, telling him, “Don’t worry, Jongin-ah. You’ll make friends in no time. Now hurry up! You don’t want to be late.”

            Jongin let his sisters fuss over him and even kiss his head goodbye before taking his mother’s hand. His mother dropped him off in front of the impossibly large building, where all the kids were gathering. There were two teachers trying to organize everyone, separating them into groups and ushering them inside. Jongin stood to the side, waiting for the teachers to tell him what to do.

            Someone bumped into his back, and Jongin turned around to see who it was. Instead, he got a snowball in his face. The melting snow trickled down Jongin’s shirt, and messed up his hair that his sisters had so lovingly brushed.

            Jongin cried.

            The boy that had thrown the snowball was about Jongin’s size. He didn’t come over and say he was sorry.

            The teacher eventually found the crying Jongin and took him inside, helping him dry off his face and hair. She asked him who had thrown the snowball. Jongin hiccupped and pointed at the boy.

            The boy’s name was Sehun, and he turned out to be Jongin’s neighbor. Their mothers thought it would be a great idea if they had playdates at each other’s houses because Jongin didn’t know anyone.

            Sehun was protective of his toys, and at first, he wouldn’t let Jongin anywhere near them. Jongin had sat on the floor, not knowing what to do, and Sehun had sat on his bed, glaring at Jongin.

            Five-year-old Jongin hated himself because Sehun hated him.

            When Sehun fell from the top of the slide on the kindergarten playground, Jongin was the first person to run to him. Sehun was crying, and Jongin saw that he had skinned his knee and both palms. The younger didn’t resist when Jongin put an arm around his shoulders, steadying him, helping him walk back to the teacher.

            Sehun insisted on going home with Jongin that day, even though he had refused in the past. Then he insisted that Jongin come over so they could play with his toys. Sehun let Jongin touch his toys for the first time.

            It turned out that Sehun was introverted and shy, not hostile as he had seemed originally. He warmed up to Jongin throughout the years, and always was there when Jongin needed him. Sehun never made fun of Jongin for being ‘girly’ because he took ballet and jazz, and defended him when other people decided to tease Jongin.

            Jongin knew he could depend on Sehun for anything.

            Sehun, in his own way, supported Jongin when he told the younger that he had been accepted as a trainee and SM Entertainment, but Jongin got the feeling that Sehun didn’t really know what Jongin was talking about. He didn’t seem very interested either, so Jongin didn’t make a big deal about it.

            The first time Sehun made Jongin break was when Jongin became a full time trainee. They were in 8^th grade, and everything was easy then. Sehun didn’t understand why Jongin couldn’t hang out with him after school.

            “Hyung, where are you going?”

            “I have to go practice.”

            “But you already went this week.”

            “I have to go every day, Sehun-ah.”

            “But why? Why can’t you just skip a day?”

            “I want to debut, and I have to practice.”

            “But hyuuuuung. Don’t you love me more?”

            Jongin froze at Sehun’s choice of words. Sehun might use ‘love’ easily, but Jongin didn’t. Especially when it came to Sehun.

            But all he said was, “Of course I do, Sehun-ah.”

            “Then stay for today!”

           Sehun hung on to Jongin’s arm, and Jongin wanted to hate the younger for doing this to him. But he couldn’t, because it was Sehun.

            And Sehun was Sehun. He just couldn’t say no.

            When they were in 10^th grade, Sehun was recruited by SM Entertainment, and Jongin had been ecstatic that his best friend would be joining him as a trainee. Their mothers had smiled and turned miraculously blind and deaf while they ran through their houses, screaming in excitement.

            Sehun had grabbed Jongin’s hand.

            “Hyung, now we’ll be together again!”

            Jongin felt how soft Sehun’s hand was, how it fit perfectly with his. He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat.

            Jongin quickly learned that Sehun was a natural. Even though Jongin had been dancing since 3^rd grade, Sehun caught up easily. His body moved effortlessly with the music, and Jongin often found himself watching Sehun instead of dancing himself. Sehun’s dancing was different; it was magical.

            Jongin never meant to worry Sehun with anything, certainly not his injuries. But nevertheless, Sehun was the first one there when Jongin collapsed from the added effects of exhaustion and back pain.

            “Don’t move, hyung, okay? Stay still.”

            Jongin could only groan, his back and head throbbing.

            In the background, he heard Joonmyun swear under his breath.

            “Keep talking to him,” he ordered Sehun.

            Sehun obliged.

            “Jongin hyung, remember the time when we dared each other to eat those spicy peppers? I could only eat two but you ate ten, and then afterwards you drank almost a gallon of water, and I laughed at you because your face was so red. And the time at school in fifth grade when the all of the girls sent us valentines on Valentine’s Day? You were jealous because I got more candy, but I shared it with you. Oh, and remember the time when we snuck into the park at night and climbed the trees? I almost fell, but you pulled me back and yelled at me to be more careful. And when–“

            Jongin felt something freezing touch his back. He cried out, trying to twist away from the cold. Sehun clutched his hand, squeezing it tightly.

            “Relax, hyung, it’s okay. It’s just one of Tao hyung’s muscle creams. It’s okay hyung. It’s okay.” Sehun’s voice was a whisper now, and his mouth was right next to Jongin’s ear.

            “Hyung, remember when you helped me that day on the playground? When I fell and skinned my knee and my hands? No one else helped me, but you did. Remember when you told me that you were going to be a trainee here? You thought I wasn’t listening, but I was. I always listened when you talked. Always.” His lips were almost touching Jongin’s ear; Jongin could feel the shadow of them. He had all but forgotten the pain.

            Jongin opened his mouth to say something, but right then, Joonmyun spoke up.

            “Jongin? Can you move?”

            Sehun hastily moved away from Jongin, letting his hand go. Jongin closed his empty hand into a fist.

            Joonmyun called to him again.

            “Jongin-ah?”

            “I’m fine, hyung. I don’t know if I can get up, though.”

            Joonmyun wound an arm around Jongin’s shoulders, helping him stand. Jongin winced at the spasm that went through his head and gingerly tried to stretch his back. He stumbled, and this time, it was Tao that caught him.

            “Don’t try to move your back too much, it’ll just irritate it.”

            Tao had years of wushu under his belt, so Jongin decided to trust him. He saw Sehun out of the corner of his eye, standing in the corner, Luhan’s arm around his waist. The pang of jealousy Jongin felt was worse than the pain.

               That night, Jongin had stiffly lain in bed, trying to clear his mind and just sleep. But whenever he closed his eyes, all he saw was Luhan’s arm draped around Sehun’s waist. He gritted his teeth, forcing a scream down his throat. The house was silent, still, when Jongin faintly heard the front door open. His eyes flew open, his heartbeat quickening.

            There was no reason for anyone to be breaking in to their house, so Jongin told himself that it was merely one of his sisters coming in for the night. There were footsteps headed for his door, and before Jongin could scream, the door flew open and Sehun rushed to clamp a hand over Jongin’s mouth.

            Sehun smiled at Jongin’s wide, panicked eyes.

            “You thought I was a serial killer, didn’t you?”

            Jongin tilted his head so Sehun’s hand slid off of his face.

            “Well, it is…2 in the morning. No one in their right mind except serial killers would break into a house at this kind of time.”

            “Ah, well. I guess that makes me a serial killer.” The twinkle in Sehun’s eyes made Jongin smile.

            “Why are you here, Sehun-ah? Did you miss me?”

            Sehun rolled his eyes, but nudged Jongin over so he could slide into the bed. Jongin moved to make room for the younger, and then they were in the same bed, just like they had slept when they were younger. Now, they were too big, and it was uncomfortable for both of them to be on the narrow bed, but Jongin didn’t mind.

            “Jongin hyung?”

            “Hm?”

            “Let’s go on the roof.”

            Jongin turned to stare at Sehun. Sehun was looking back at him, his eyes dark from the lack of light.

            “Why?”

            “Just because.”

            “Promise me you won’t fall off.”

            Sehun snorted. “I never fall.”

            Jongin glared at him.

            “Well, I don’t! And even if I’m about to, you’re there to pull me back.”

            Sehun could convince Jongin to do anything.

            It was only August, but windy. Sehun shivered and stuck close to Jongin, who just rolled his eyes. They climbed six flights of stairs because they didn’t want to risk getting stuck in the elevator, especially in the middle of the night. Jongin made sure that Sehun didn’t lose his footing in the dark, keeping an eye out for the younger.

            The roof of the building was flat, devoid of anything. Sehun immediately went to the edge, looking out at the city lights. Jongin instinctively pulled him back, knowing how clumsy Sehun was sometimes. Sehun laughed, and in the second that he did, Jongin lost his concentration on everything but the sound, and also lost his footing. They fell on the concrete, Sehun on top of Jongin. Jongin felt the slight pressure of Sehun on his chest before the younger scrambled up.

            “Are you okay, hyung?”

            There were a number of things Jongin could say to that. But he went with, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

            “Are you sure? How’s your back?”

            Jongin winced before he could stop himself. Sehun bit his lip and reached around Jongin to rub his back, where Joonmyun had applied the bandage. Jongin gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the spasms of pain that burst behind his eyelids. Sehun nibbled on his lip, looking uneasy.

            “Hyung, if it hurts, just say so.”

            “It’s fine.”

            “Hyung–”

            “It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt.”

            Sehun was the one that looked hurt.

            “Liar.”

            “I’m not–“

            “Yes, you are, and you know it.”

            Jongin was about to retort when another spasm racked his body. He stumbled, and Sehun caught him, the younger’s arms encircling his body.

            “Hyung? Are you okay?”

            Jongin curled his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms. He felt something wet trickle down his wrist, and knew he had dug in hard enough to draw blood.

            Sehun hugged him tighter, and Jongin felt his heart tighten with it.

            “Hyung? Say something.”

            “I’m okay.”

            “No, you’re not.” Sehun’s lips were right next to Jongin’s ear. Jongin shivered before he could stop himself. “You’re not okay.”      

            Sehun ended up piggy backing Jongin back to his room, by which time Jongin had fallen asleep, his head resting on Sehun’s thin shoulder.

            And when he slept, he dreamed.

A/N: THE EDIT IS CRAPPY I KNOW UGGGHHHH but I'm too lazy to go edit something actually nice so >.<

thank you allllllllll :)