It cannot be him can it??!!

Our fate..
Soo pov—I wake up early as I was very eager to meet my oppa's best friend. I went downstairs only to find my younger brother who is Choi Min ho eating his breakfast gloomily. "Yah, Choi Min ho why are you up so early?? Something happened??"I asked him curiously. He nodded his head and said, "Yuri wants to break up with me because she mistaken that I was cheating behind her back.." "with??" "Krystal.." "Explain it to Yuri that you are innocent, I know how much you love her bro, I think I will talk with her and try to change her mind, arraso??" he nodded while letting out a tear drop.. I walked to the hospital that I work at gleefully, putting out the thoughts of Min ho and Yuri's problem and thinking about the person that I am going to meet very soon. "Anneyoung Soo young ah, anything good happened to you?" asked hyo yeon unnie. I shrugged my shoulders and gave her a 'I do not know' look and she just giggled. I changed my outfit into my uniform and tie my hair and ready to meet and do a good nurse. Haha! You are too excited Choi Soo young! I wandered to myself. I climbed up to the stairs and opened the door wih a tag said "Cho Kyuhyun". When I entered the room, a peaceful body was lying on the bed and breathing softly. Oh my gosh! Did I mention to you that he was damn handsome?? When I was preparing for his medicine, an agenlic voice caught my attention, "Seo hyun ah, please don't leave me.." and tears started to flowed out.. A tingled pain was in my chest, yeah since he is damn handsome he might have a girlfriend right? Why are you disappointed Choi Soo young, it is not as if you have fallen for him!
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byunkeyk
#1
Chapter 10: Please update soon.
Va_asianloverz
#2
Chapter 10: please update soon
chosandy1
#3
Chapter 10: idiot kyuhyun, he just broke sooyoung heart. keep updating
haeraa
#4
@21diadems: yep, English is not my mother tongue. For spelling mistakes, sorry! Don't worry, you are not naggy! I know someone who is more naggy than you—my mother. (The word 'naggy' does not exist in dictionary) thanks for the compliment!! Anyway, since I updated, yours turn to update!!!
HelloPinkPlanet
#5
Chapter 10: yay! finally an update! X3
I think your writing got a lot better now, as you try to explain the situation a little more than you used to do.
But what I just noticed is...you have quite a few spelling mistakes and sometimes you're jumping between the tenses...It's probably because of English not being your mother tongue(?), but maybe you should let someone proofread your chapters?
I know that I'm making lots of spelling mistakes too and sometimes I overlook many of them by accident, so I might also look for a proofreader, but I think it would help the reader so that he doesn't get distracted so often while reading
*sighs*
I'm always just nagging...I'm sorry...
haeraa
#6
@21diadems: don't worry, your comment doesn't sound negative to me and I really happy that someone had pointed out my weak areas where I could improve on.. :D
@Chocolate_loves: there will be tons of kyuyoung moments but you just have to wait for this stupid author to update LOLzzz...
And lastly, I am sorry to say this I won't be able to update until October 3rd because of my exams and wish me good luck because in Singapore it is really important for us the primary schooler. Thx a lot and really for all my fellow readers! :D Mianhae but please support me and please try to understand mt bad English and bad writing. After all I am just a teenager. Thanks alot once again!! Oh holy ____! I had blurted out so much things!! So sorry!!! >.<|||
Chocolate_loves #7
Kyuyoung moments plz
Also longer chs plz
Update soon
HelloPinkPlanet
#8
nuuuuuu! >.< don't say this. I think your story is quite charming...and also...my stories are far away of being perfect...but as time goes by your writing style will improve, so don't think that your story isn't nice or the story of someone else is way better^^

and about this chapter...well...it's really short...but ok...mmmh...but it's a little...choppy? I don't know if you know what I mean but I think you should try writing out more so that the sentenced are more linked to each other...
Right now your story is more like a listing of the things that happen. Just try out linking them^^

mmmh...I'm really sorry if it sounds that negative, but I think this will help you improving your writing style. Cause after all the plot of the story is really good *thumbs up*
shanaa12
#9
ooh, short chappie -,-
haeraa
#10
Thx 21diadems but I think yours story are much more nicer! Mine is0.000000000000009%nice but yours 100% nice! —.— (V)