4.We are

DAMN.

Seungri was standing there, looking at him, waiting for his replay.

Even in that moment with an unusually serious look in his eyes that shouted frustration, Jiyong could nothing but notice one more time just how handsome Seungri was. Maybe he was so conscious about it because he had just admitted with himself that he liked the maknae. But he knew that it had to stop there.

“Seungri... I resolved everything. I cleared my mind and now there's nothing that disturbs me, so you can stop worrying” he said with a smile that he hoped was as brighter as possible.

“Can I? Because hyung you are avoiding the topic again, when you promised me that you were going to tell me everything!” exclaimed Seungri and it was far evident that he was upset.

“Well there's no need since now the things are perfectly fine!”

“How can I be sure that it won't happen again? That you are not going to get mad on your own and then pick on me again?”

“It won't happen again” replied Jiyong. He knew he was being mean but it was not the case to tell Seungri the truth wasn't it?

“Jiyong!”

“Seungri why you can be satisfied with the fact that is all resolved?”

“I can't.”

“You are being immature”

“Says the man who can't maintain his word” replied the maknae with sarcasm.

“Seungri-ah! Now it's all okay! Believe me!”and with that Jiyong hugged Seungri trying to prove himself “see, no more awkwardness!” Seungri looked at him furious.

“Whatever hyung!” and with that he walked away.

Jiyong sighed. How come things turned out so bad?

Seungri was pissed off for the entire week. He avoided Jiyong like he was a plague and it was clingy with Seunghyun as much as possible. Jiyong couldn't say anything about it, because certainly Seungri was being childish but he knew he deserved it. But he didn't know what to do to fix it. Telling him the truth was not an option. It didn't make any sense, because it was not like they were going to date and live happily after. Pfft. Like that could happen! He didn't have a clue about love between two men and he was not going to scare the maknae about something they couldn't resolve.

“Enough!” Jiyong was in the studio working alone on a new song, when Seunghyun just entered the room.

“Hyung? “

“Jiyong is better for my sanity if you come back to reclaim your pet or else I don't' know what I'm going to do!”

“Ehm? What are you saying? Gaho is with my sister, how could he do something to you?

“Not Gaho! I'm talking about Seungri!”

“If he hears you calling him a pet, he'll freak it out!”

“Like he can win against me! Anyway do something, don't you dare change the topic.”

“What do you want me to do? I can do nothing.”

“You can! Your are afraid of doing it, that's the difference.”

“Since when are you my therapist?”

“Since the maknae is constantly attached to my arm! He even sleeps in my room!”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Well he tried to sleep in my room I just kicked him off”Seunghyun hid the fact that the idea of Seungri in his private space was too attractive to let himself take advantage of it.

Jiyong sighed.

“Jiyong you like each other, I know, you know... I think everyone in Yg building knows!

Jiyong nearly chocked with his own saliva.

“Like...? yes I like him, he's my favorite dongsaeng”

“C'mon I'm a dork not a fool! You know what kind of like I'm implying”

Jiyong's eyes widened then he buried his face in his hands. Seunghyun patted his back

“Well if it makes you feel any better, I like him too, you know”

“you what?” Jiyong looked at him, his face pale like a ghost.

“I said, I like h..”

“oh god, stop it! I don't want to hear it!”

“See? It's not a big deal admitting. Has something between us changed? Not at all.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am.”

Seughyun's eyes were sincere. He was not lying. Was he challenging him? Somehow Jiyong had the odd sensation that Seunghyun was putting him in a corner. He didn't like it. But he had no right to complain.

“Go fix it!” concluded Seunghyun and with that he walked towards the door to exit

“If it's true,why you didn't you do anything with Seungri?”

“Because in my case confessing would not change anything. Seungri doesn't like me in that way. For you is different. But... if you give up I can always change my mind.”

And with those words he exited the room leaving a troubled leader behind.

“What was that about?” asked Seungri

There he was. Walking down the streets of Seoul. It was dark and late in the night so it was difficult for people to recognize them. That evening Jiyong insisted to go out, he said something about their discussion. Seungri didn't want to comply because it was not like the leader had the intention to reveal something. But he said it was his treat and he really missed quality time with his leader. Going out with the other hyungs was not the same and the girls didn't fill his loneliness.

“You know, you cant' silence me with a fancy dinner!”

“I know Ri. Don't worry. I just want to spend some time with you and try to ease the atmosphere between us before..”

“Before what?”said Seungri with a cocky expression.

“You really don't want to make it simple hn?”

“Why? I don't think this time is my fault and I don't remember the enemy being pitiful when I'm at fault!

“The enemy is supposed to be me?”

“Only when you are jerk!”

“I'm still you leader and hyung!”

“Ok then jerk-hyung!”

“Seungri-ah...what I'm going to do with you!” said the leader giving up.

Seungri knowing Jiyong was not angry at him, laughed freely.

They were in an empty street not so far from their dorm, the night was quiet and they were alone.

“I like you Ri, I really like you a lot!”

“I like you too hyung!”

Jiyong sighed.

“yes I know, but for me.. is different... I really like you.”

Seungri was caught a little off guard but he replied immediately “ and I really like you too”.

“Do you understand what kind of like I'm talking about?”

“Of course, what kind of like are you talking about?”

“Aish!!”Jiyong with no hesitation grabbed the sides of his face and before Seungri could push him away, he pressed their lips together. Seungri froze in the spot and hold his breath. The lips of Jiyong were thin, wet and soft. It was weird to notice all those details. It was weird also kissing his leader. The reality just hit him. And he freaked out. He pushed violently Jiyong away.

“Why do you have to do that?!” shouted Seungri.

“I know.. it was weird, wasn't it?”

“Hell yes!”

“Well I didn't know how to explain myself.”

“I got the point! It was not necessary to do a demonstration!”

“You what?”

Seungri sighed “I like you too Jiyong. In that same way.” They stared in each other eyes, Seungri blinking furiously as usual. But Jiyong somehow knew he was saying the truth.

“So why you freaked it out?”

“I am straight. It's not that out of the blue I want to be kissed by a guy even if it's the guy that I like!”

“You know, that doesn't make sense at all!”

“I have to mentally prepare myself before! With you.... after all we passed trough, all of a sudden... just be considerate!”

Jiyong wanted to laugh but stopped himself. Hearing Seungri asking someone to be considerate was really something. But he didn't reply because he understood him. It was not simple for two alphas males to jump in the gay path.

“Hyung...”Seungri turned serious all of sudden “ It was because you realized you liked me that you avoided me?”

“Sort of” admitted the leader “my mind was a mess and somehow I couldn't stop thinking about you. It was kind of annoying you know, I couldn't focus on anything and you were so careless, so oblivious. I know it was not smart of me but you are one of my best friends, my precious dongsaeng. I always liked you but it never crossed my mind that I could like you to that extent. That I could desire you.

“Ahh! Hyung! For me It was the same. And I realized an age ago!”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Unfortunately not! Do you remember that time when I had the habit to go clubbing a lot?”

“Yes I remember, I never saw Yang ceo so angry like that time.”

“whatever... well I was so afraid that was something wrong with my masculinity that I wanted to prove at myself that I could still do a woman. And I could. But that didn't erase the amount of liking I have for you.”

Jiyong was startled. Only Seungri could confess to a man after admitting that he went fooling around with women. But then didn't it make the confession much more valuable because even those women couldn't compete with him? Jiyong stopped himself from blushing. He was the leader for the sake of God.

“so after that realization, I ended up talking with Youngbae hyung. It was not on purpose. Somehow he figured it all out by himself. I think he's a mentalist or something... well he helped me a lot to accept the fact. So once I accepted it, I tried to act normally. I thought, and I was not wrong about it, that you weren't still at that point and there was the possibility that you would never achieve that point. So I never fantasized about it, like it was simple to fantasize about it, after years to thinking about women, to swing that way for you...even though I had to admit that time when you were wearing heels in the secret garden parody I nearly fainted for over excitement!”

Jiyong was speechless. It was funny knowing how Seungri dealt with his same issue. He faced in his own personal way, of course, but he didn't run from it. He sure had grown in a fine man.

“I'm ashamed of myself. You did so well compared to me. I nearly screw it up instead.”

“I always knew that among us I was the smarter!”

“Shut up” said Jiyong slapping lightly his arm. Their eyes locked. It was like an electric current connecting them. Now that their feelings were on the surface what was suppose to happen?

“Jiyong... I don't know If I am able to do it...I desire you, but I have no idea of... how to do it...?”

“Me neither. When I was young I used to think that my soul mate would be a woman but somehow it ended to be you. I knew that for years. We go along so well that maybe it can't be helped. We are meant to be, I know now like I knew back then, however even though I liked you I tired for our friendship to be enough. But I was wrong. It's not enough. We are beyond.... I was a jerk because I was scared and I'm scared even now. I don't know how to proceed, I feel like a beginner. But you know, people say that I'm good learner. Do you think we can learn together Seungri?”

“I think there's only one way to know.”

And with that was Seungri's turn to caught the leader off guard. He pressed their lips together. Firstly it was a shy touch of lips. Their previous kiss was awkward and one sided. Now they were trying to adjust themselves to each other. He found himself liking the sensations of Jiyong's lips, he wanted feel more so he put a hand around his waist and pressed their bodies together. Cocky impatient, thought Jiyong. So to not be less Jiyong pushed his tong inside his mouth. Seungri froze for a second but only for a second. He tried to lead the rhythm of their tongues. He had to admit that Jiyong was skilled. He didn't let go. Neither of them let go. Minutes later or maybe hours, they stopped. They stared at each other for a long time. Seungri's lips ached for the pressure of the contact but he could care less.

“How was is it?”Jiyong asked him, a grin on his face.

“I think... I think I can get used to it. But I have to try more to be sure” and with that Seungri grabbed Jiyong again for another kiss' session.

They continued kissing in the desert street under the light of a lamppost.

BIGBANG AND THE GAY RUMOR- END

NdA: re-edition!

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