2. Seungri

That was definitely a mess, thought Daesung while exiting Youngbae's room.

He tiptoed till the kitchen where Seunghyun was. He was waiting for him, since he had offered to speak at least with two of the three exiled: Youngbae and Seungri. Less than a hour before they had locked themselves in to their rooms with the intention of no going out till the next morning. As for the third- Jiyong- he was surely outside, smoking his life out. Seunghyun told him to leave the leader to him. Daesung agreed. Because he knew there was something in the relationship between those two beyond his understanding. Or well. Seunghyun was maybe the only member of Bigbang that their leader had always found difficult to yell against.

“How was it?” asked Seunghyun with real concern. Daesung sighed.

“Can I have ice cream too?”

“Is it so serious?”

“Yes, it is.”

Seunghyun mumbled. He understood Daesung but it was his ice cream.

“Oh c'mon hyung! I need it!” cried Daesung

“Ok, ok. But only for this once.”

“Thank you!”

“And remember tomorrow to buy me some because I think the next days are going to be a nightmare and I'm not sure ice cream will be enough to cheer me up!”

Daesung nodded. Seunghyun was right.

That was definitely a mess, he thought as his mind went to the earlier events of the night.

….

1 hour before.

…

“Who is gay?”

There, in the doorway, was standing the mohawk guy. Youngbae.

He was smiling.

Seunghyun dropped the spoon and Jiyong nearly fainted. Of course the guy didn't know anything... yet.

“Youngbae!” exclaimed in a ridiculous high pitched voice Jiyong “You are back!”

Youngbae stared at the leader and his best friend. Then he sensed the atmosphere all around. Something was wrong: Seunghyun had the most serious -and ridiculous- face he had ever seen, Seungri had his mouth fully open, barely breathing. As for Jiyong, he was definitely nervous. The only sane was Daesung but that was not a good sign. Daesung giggling was a good sign. Daesung quiet...it was not.

“Well... I turned my phone on and found out missing calls from Yang ceo and from you. Then I read the message where you said to come back. And well... here I am.”

“So fast!”

“You said it was urgent.”

“Weren't you to your hometown hyung?”interrupted Seungri, “ how you managed to come back so quick?”

Jiyong was going to yell at the maknae for stealing the words of his mouth but then he caught Youngbae's expression. Youngbae was glaring at Seungri. And Youngbae never glared without reason.

“Yes, how you manage to comeback so quick?” asked Jiyong. One point for the maknae. Youngbae didn't reply.

“Youngbae?”

“Does it matter? Isn't enough I am here?” said Youngbae in a defensive tone

“Well... yes, but why can't you tell us?” replied Jiyong. What the hell, Youngbae? The perfect and composed Youngbae was hiding something?

“Where were you? Were you at you home town or not? I called at your parents' house but nobody answered me”.

“Did you call at home?”

“I had to find you!”

“What's going on?”

“Why nobody answered me?”

“My family was on a trip” said Youngbae unwillingly

“I told you so” whispered Daesung to Seunghyun. A glare from their leader made them shut up.

“And you?”

“I was not there...”

“Where were you?”

“What's going on? Why is so important where I was?”

“Why did you lie to us?”

“I just changed plans, what's the matter?”

“Youngbae!” shouted the leader.

“Jiyong”shouted him back.

“Ok ok, I think it's enough” interrupted them Daesung “now calm down and let's try to resolve this.” The two stopped shouting but still continued to glared furiously at each other. It was really awkward because they always had an excellent relationship. Neither of them had ever lost in that way their manners.

“Daesung for the third time: what's going on?” asked Youngbae trying to figure something out. He didn't want to mess the things with Jiyong, he was his best friend. Even though in that moment was acting like a jerk. Could he at least give him more credit? How he was supposed to answer when he obviously knew nothing?

“Aish, how could I explain...”everybody went silent until the maknae spouted out:

“hyung I'll explain it to you, you know the tv news found out that you actually are g...”

Jiyong in that exact moment jumped over Seungri to cover his mouth with his hands, Seungri still trying to blabber the true out. Youngbae stared at them. What the hell!?

“Seungri- ah, not in this way...”whispered in his ear. Seungri stopped immediately, not because he agreed with the leader- the way to explain the things to Youngbae could not make any difference- but cause his tone managed to cause goosebumps all over his body. Once Seungri became still, the leader released him immediately. Why had he enjoyed the contact so much? Maknae maknae. the mantra.

“Haven't you heard... something strange?” Daesung asked Youngbae, like the scene between the leader and the maknae never occurred.

“No, have I?”

Daesung sighed and Youngbae began to sweat. A sighing Daesung meant a catastrophe.

“I think it's better if you watch by yourself, actually I recorded the reportage for you.”

Everyone stood in silence as they watched the reportage again, this time with Youngbae. Jiyong could barely stand the sight of his best friend, breaking down piece by piece as the show went on. The worst was when the video was shown. It was a miracle Youngbae didn't faint, because he was pale like a cadaver. Seunghyun went towards him a patted his shoulder in a intent of wake him from his trance moment. Youngbae blinked and looked down unable to look in the others' eyes. Jiyong would have wanted to say something, whatever could be useful, but his mind was blank. He felt a little guilty for questioning Youngbae earlier, but he was the leader and he had to know.

Despite hating himself for having to interrogate him in that moment, he asked again “Youngbae where were you?”

Youngbae sighed than look straight in the leader's eyes, like he wanted to tell him all but couldn't. But then his face changed to determination. He clutched his hands and said. “I have to talk with Yang Ceo “ and with that he rushed out of the room to the balcony to speak privately on the phone.

Everybody was speechless. Jiyong unable to stay still, began to walk up and down the kitchen. But when he passed for the hundredth time by Seunghyun, the man grabbed his writs and said “ Ji.” Jiyong stopped, letting his hand slide in Seunghyun's hand.

Seungri blinked furiously at that scene. Daesung saw Seungri blinking while staring at the duo. What was he saying earlier?Youngbae was not the first candidate to play into the other team.

But then Youngbae came back in the kitchen. He seemed to have regain some consciousness.

Jiyong walked towards him in a rush and asked “so?”

“Tomorrow I'll go talking face to face with Yang Ceo. You don't have to worry. I'll resolve this...”

“So...is it's all fake?” asked Jiyong the hope evident in the tone of his voice.

“It's not” declared Youngbae, and everyone could notice how much it was costing to him admitting that “BUT, it's not how it looks like”

“Than what is it?”

“I can't tell you now, sorry guys” and with that Youngbae tried to leave the room.

“Wait Bae, aren't you going to explain it to us? to me?”

“Not now.”

“When then? We are worried for you.”

“Mianhae,.. It's not my intention being a burden”

“Youngbae!”

“Ji, trust me and let it go for now, please!”

Jiyong was hurt, it was evident to all of them.

“Do you really can't say anything more?”Asked kindly Daesung.

“I want to talk with the Ceo first.”

“It's ok hyung, we understand!” said Seungri putting an arm around Youngbae.

“Thank you Ri” replied the dancer with a sweet smile.

“I want you to know that whatever it is, for us it's not a problem. You can be as gay as you want!” and he smiled

“Seungri!” exclaimed Jiyong, terrified. What was the maknae saying?

“Hyung I really can't get you! Why are you so against it?” said Seungri to Jiyong.

“Ri it's not like that...” began Daesung.

“Wait Daesung hyung I want him to answer me!” replied Seungri with anger in his tone.

“It's not like that Seungri! I just want to resolve all this mess!”

“It doesn't seems so! You are more worried about the ual orientation of Youngbae than bigbang!

“What are you saying!?”

“then what if Youngbae hyung is gay? Are you going to ban him from big bang?

“Of course not!”

“Then what are you angry about?!”

“Don't you get it? The press is going to eat us alive!” Jiyong shouted.

“We can deal with it. We are strong together.”

“Oh c'mon don't be silly!”

“I'm not silly for accepting whatever tastes Youngbae has!”

“He's not Gay!”

“How do you know? Maybe he never told you because he was afraid of your reaction. Weren't you freaking out just now?”

“Well of course!”

“See? You are homophobic!”

“I'm not!”

“You are.”

“Youngbae is not gay!!!”

“STOP! Can you please stop arguing about me like I'm not even here!” shouted Youngbae. The two stopped but they still had awful expression. Seungri seemed... there weren't words to describe it. He blinked furiously, a habit of him when he had strong feelings to contain. As for Jiyong he was lost. He was missing something but he didn't know what. Daesung wanted to face palmed himself. It was not good. Besides they were not arguing about Youngbae but about themselves and what worse they didn't seem get it.

“So...” continued Youngbae “ Ri, thank you, really, but it's not the case. I was in that park yes, and I lied, but I'm not gay. But thanks for your support. And you Ji... You know me. If I'm not telling you now, it's for a good reason. Can you please give me more credit? Aish. I'm tired now. I'm going to bed. Good night.”

And with that he disappeared from their sight.

“I'm going too” said Seungri in a cold tone. But he closed the door of his room with a noisy shut.

Daesung and Seunghyun stared at the leader

“What?”

“Nothing!”said in unison Seunghyun and Daesung

“I'm going out to smoke” said Jiyong and left.

Daeung sighed for the countless time.

“Maybe it's better if I go talk with Youngbae and Seungri.

“That's a good idea” replied Seunghyun “but leave Jiyong to me.”

“Ok” and with that, he went to Yougnbae's room. Seunghyun walked towards the balcony to catch Jiyong. He was seated on the floor smoking nervously. Seunghyun seated too in the other part of the balcony

“Are you ok Ji?” asked kindly

“I don't know.”

Silenced fell again. But Seunghyun had to ask:”Ji what happened with Seungri?”

“Drop it hyung. I don't want to talk about it.”

“Lately between you two... it's kind of weird...”

“I know” said Jiyong with a sad smile, but he couldn't explain to his hyung he was jealous of him and Seungri. And the mantra part? He himself didn't understand what was going on his mind. And now Younbae's issue and that unbelievable discussion with the maknae. Were they really talking about Youngbae?

Seunghyun went near him to put an arm around his shoulder. Than with his hand ruffled his hair.

“You are smart. You figure it out a solution.”

“What if I'm not?”

“Well, you have a hyung that is the smartest person in this world!”

Jiyong laughed.

After talking with Youngbae, Daesung could understand the secrecy of his hyung. And approve it. Like always, Youngbae was kind and considerate. Maybe too considerate. And naive. But well somehow the things turned out that way. As for Seungri, he could do nothing than trying to comfort him. Because only Jiyong could resolve that. It was time. Maybe it was not the right time, with Youngbae 's issue but life was seldom fair.

He continued eating ice cream in the silence of the dorm.

The next morning came too quick.

Neither of them could sleep well. Even though for Seunghyun the cause was that he overslept the day before. Details.

Daesung stood up first to do breakfast. Sitting in silence while eating, they all seemed a bunch of zombies. After breakfast they went to their rooms to prepare themselves for their schedules. Seungri who usually seated near the leader in the van, pretended to seat near Seunghyun. None dared to say something against. Seunghyun was more comprehensive than ever, even though usually was not his habit to succumb to the maknae's demands. But Seugnri had an expression on his face that made him quiver. Jiyong glanced to them, the ghost of jealousy behind his eyes. Then he met Youngbae's eyes and his heart dropped another inch down. But Youngbae tried to smile at him. At least he was not angry with him. He smiled back. They were best friends, despite the awful situation.

Once they reached the Yg building, Youngbae took the lift as soon as possible. He was impatient to speak with the Ceo and explain himself.

The practices started without him. It was like everyone wanted to forget the facts trying to exhaust themselves. But when Youngbae went back to basement everybody stopped at his way, even the trainees. Youngbae wanted to hide himself. Damn the gossip. Daesung went to pat him trying to comfort him. It worked.

On other hand Jiyong was not so relaxed. He knew Daesung knew something from the look of complicity the two shared. Why on the earth Youngbae put him aside? But then what affected him the most what that he was not focusing on Youngbae completely. He was thinking of Seungri. Again Seungri. Maknae maknae.

He had to admit that maybe the arguing was that harsh because there was an unresolved issue. He was not a fool. He had kind of guessed the source of his mantra. But even if he could force himself to admit what he was afraid to admit, it didn't mean that everything between him an Seungri was going to get fixed. Damn his feelings. They were Jiyong and Seungri! Tom and Jerry.

When lunch break came, everybody wanted to go near Youngbae for the so awaited explanation. What did he tell to Yang Ceo? But Youngbae said only “later” and to Jiyong “after practice Yang Ceo want to talk with us.” Jiyong froze inside but somehow he managed to nod. Youngbae tightened his grip on his shoulder. They said “sorry” at the same time, causing an hilarious and cathartic laugh. Jiyong wanted really to talk with him, but he had to respect Youngbae's wish. He could wait for the end of the practice. Since the atmosphere was getting lightly better, the rest of the group relaxed too.

Seunghyun tried some jokes and began to tease Seungri, but even if the maknae was smiling, Jiyong knew he was faking. He was blinking again. He had to resolve his issues with Seungri.

They all went to the lunch room, staying beside Youngbae like a defensive squad, trying to protect him from the stares. Once they finished they still had time and Jiyong went out to the balcony to smoke and in the process he grabbed Seungri's hand and dragged him out with him. Seungri tried to protest but Jiyong look at him directly in the eyes, with that intense gaze of his that could make ice melt. Seungri blinked furiously but stopped to oppose to his leader. Once they were out in the fresh air, Jiyong felt better. He stared at the maknae who was stubbornly refusing to look at him.

“Seungri-ah” called him, putting a hand over his shoulder. Seungri avoided his touch.

“What do you want to talk about?” Jiyong tried not to seem hurt from his refusal and replied:

“About yesterday... I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't want to give you the impression that I'm homophobic. I was really, really, worried for Youngbae hyung. I still am. Can you understand that?

“I understand.” said him atone.

“But you are still angry at me” remarked the leader. “I'm sorry Ri.”

“ are you sorry for yesterday's discussion?”

“Yes” said Jiyong perplexed.

“Only for that?”

“For what else?”the leader said in confusion.

The expression of Seungri's face changed drastically in one of pure anger and... pain? The heart of Jijong ached.

“Seriously what's wrong with you Jiyong?” he shouted purposely dropping the hyung part. Seungri began to walk non stop and for a moment Jiyong feared that he was going to leave. But he stayed. Furiously looking at him.

“You left me behind.”

Jiyong's breath stopped. Damn. So Seungri was concerned. The worse part: he was hurt.

“You ignored me, scolded me without a reason, you treated me like I was.. aren't we suppose to be friends? To be united? Have you an idea of how I was miserable? I did nothing to deserve such a conduct!”

Jiyong could not stand that anymore; he walked towards him and than embraced him in a tight hug. Seungri tried to free himself but Jiyong hugged him more tightly.

“Mianhae.”

Seungri stood in silence, not refusing him but neither hugging him back. Well Seungri was always stiff towards demonstrations of affection.

“What's going on hyung?” whispered Seungri. Jiyong released him from his hug than put his hands of each side of his face and looked straight in his eyes to be sure to be listened.

“I still like you Seungri. I like you a lot. You are, and will always be, my favourite dongsaeng. I just have too many thoughts in my mind.

“ which thoughts hyung? You know you can tell me.”

“Yes I know, but I have to figure it out on my own...”

“Will you stop being a jerk meanwhile?”

Jiyong laughed, hugging him again, Seungri this time hugged him back.

“I never intended to. Miahnae. I didn't mean to worry you.”

Seungri sighed. Jiyong was revealing nothing but at least he found out that his hyung still liked him. Whatever was in his mind,it could wait. Jiyong was an example for him, the wall to climb over. He really liked his hyung. At a certain point he was not sure of the nature of his liking but he was sure that despite his stubbornness and pride, he was not able to live without having him by his side, teasing, mocking him yes. But loving him too. He always felt himself loved by his hyung and he didn't want that to stop.

“Ok hyung, let's leave this aside for now. Yougnbae hyung comes first” but from his tone it was evident that once that issue was resolved he would have come and pretend a fully explanation from Jiyong. Jiyong nodded and released the maknae from his embrace. Jiyong smiled at him. Seungri shrugged in discomfort, like every time his hyung was in a sentimental mood. Well, despite the appearance he was embarrassed.

“I let you smoke hyung” said in the end, beginning to leave. Jiyong nodded and pulled out of his pocket the cigarettes.

“Ah hyung!”the maknae called him before definitely leaving “Seunghyun hyung is cooler and gives me presents while you are stubborn and steal my clothes; Daesung hyung is kinder and cooks for me tasty meals without having to ask him asking while you are demanding; and Youngbae hyung is at least more considerate while you are with no mercy and more important he always cleans my part when I don't want do it...

“Seungri-ah if you want to piss me off” started Jiyong.

“But despite that I like you the most and you are my favourite hyung. So feel privileged!” ended Seungri, a grin on his face, before leaving.

Jiyong laughed loudly. How he was going to get angry to such unkindly words when they contained such a cute confession? It was while he was laughing like no tomorrow, when he started to realize that somehow along the way he ended not only liking, but loving that impossible kid.

Author's note: re- edition! <3