Title: You are my Gege (Brother) !

Author: candylove

Reviewer: kpoplistener

Story Title: 2/5

It wasn't eye catching, and it wasn't that unique. Also, it should be "You are my Gege!" or "You are my brother!" Because usually, fanfictions don't have parenthesis in their titles. 

Appearance: 14/15

Your appearance was okay. You didn't use all the colors of the color wheel, which was good. 

Description/Foreword: 4/10

Your description was just the character list and your foreword was just like an author's note. It looked out of place and cluttered in my opinion, and too plain. Your foreword and description is not eye catching, and sad to say, it wasn't unique. 

Characters: 8/10

Characterization in Chapter 1

I like how Tao is portrayed differently than he usually is in stories. Instead of him being the crybaby or younger twin brother, he gets to have a mature role and take care of his childish twin sister. I like the change, and you presented him well. He cares for his sister very much, even waking her up to endure the boring lecture.

As for the OC, she was a bit to plain. What I got from her is that she’s lazy, childish and loves ice cream. A much overused OC in my opinion. However, you portrayed her well, so good job.

Characterization in Chapter 2

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  I loved Chapter 2. I admired how you portrayed Chen and his sister well. Chen was so regretful that he was born deaf and mute, and that he couldn’t protect his sister, it’s always the other way around. However, even though he’s deaf and mute, his sister and mother will love him as he is. They will never discriminate him like what the students in their school do. The way you wrote your chapter was so happy and so real that I cried. Yes, I cried. It was that good. Kudos to you.

Characterization in Chapter 3

I can somehow relate to Lay, since I’m very forgetful myself. I tend also to forget minor details and important things, mainly my homework or an upcoming project. Anyway, let’s focus on Lay and on the OC. As for Lay, you portrayed him very well. He maybe forgetful, but he has a warm and caring heart. Yes, he forgets, but he never fails to repay his sister back with his love. I like how the OC is very understanding, and also very tolerant. She cares for him, and he loves her with all her heart. These siblings are the best pair, in my opinion, next to Chen and his sister.

Characterization in Chapter 4

I was a bit disappointed with the scenes and characters here, but let’s focus on that later. As for Luhan, he really cares about his sister. To prove it, he even took her out without complaint and even introduced her to his friends. Some siblings hate being with each other and tend to drift apart. Luhan and the OC’s relationship is pretty stable, and they show how much they love each other.

Characterization in Chapter 5

I was happier with this chapter than in the previous one. I normally don’t like authors skipping months or even years, but you somehow made it work. As they grow old from when they were kids until they were adults, you narrated instances where they were still close and that they still care for each other very much. Even though they have already their own lives, Xiumin and his meimei are still the closest siblings in the world. I really like how their relationship grows as they grow older too. Then, at the end, they reminisce where they first played and met. In the backyard, while Xiumin pushed his loving meimei on the swing.

Characterization in Chapter 6

This was slightly different from the others, and I greatly appreciated it. Instead of the siblings liking each other at first, Kris left his little sister to be a trainee under SM. That’s when his sister started to resent him and forget him. I like how the OC didn’t immediately forgive Kris. He left for, for heaven’s sake, you can’t forgive someone who did something like that to you that easily. I liked how you resolved the situation, having Kris explain everything. Kris was regretful that he left without an explanation, and he vows he will never leave again. I really like how Kris still cares for his sister instead of forgetting her. It shows that he still cares and loves her. As for the OC, I didn’t like her, only because she didn’t forgive Kris easily. Don’t worry, I’m not docking points off of that. Sorry, but I’m Kris biased.

Originality: 20/20

This was my first time reading a series of oneshots, and it's unique. Not only becaue of how you formatted it, but also because of the content. Your oneshots are different from other fanfictions, and I liked it. 

Flow: 14/15

Your flow was okay, not too fast nor too slow. 

Grammar/Spelling: 8/10

Here are a few grammar mistakes I have found: 

“Promise.” Tao replied.

Correct: “Promise,” Tao replied.

“I would like a Cotton Candy ice cream please.” You said to the employee.

Correct: “I would like a Cotton Candy ice cream please,” You said to the employee.

It should be a comma, not a period. You only put a period after a word of the sentence if the next phrase or sentence is not connected to what you said. In this case, Tao replied, meaning he talked instead of doing some other action that is not related. Same with the next ‘You’ telling the employee what you wanted. 

Other than that, your grammar is perfectly fine. 

Bonus/Extra/Overall Enjoyement: 10/10

I enjoyed the story, and I want to read more of it. Your writing style is unique and nice to read, and I can see potential in you as an author. Great job. 

Total Score = 80/100

Author's note:

I would like to thank  talented1611 and especially kpoplistener for doing my review.

If anyone want to have their reviews done, please visit

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Hello my dearest friends,

candyforlove is here again. This is my second review and i was so excited when i read it. Like i said before, my one-shots i not perfect and there are many mistakes made. I like this review as it was very detailed about my weaknesses and strengths. I will not change any mistakes made here. I will keep it the way that i have done it. From this review, i hope that i can improve in the further and write better.I would like to thank each one of you who had read, subscribed and commented on my one-shots. I really appreciate your time to read and comment as well. It really made me very happy.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH! :)