“Hmm?” I stretched my arms behind my head, yawning loudly after. I was back in my bed. 

 

“How did I get here?” I mumbled under my breath. The nurse came in as usual and took care of things as she always does. She did her job in an awkward silence and speedily left as soon as she was done. My brows furrowed as I watched her intently. 

 

“What is going on? Today seems…different,” I whispered to myself in confusion. The time was only 10 AM, still early and bright. But something was off; something was out of the ordinary. 

 

I didn’t want to focus on it too much, I knew it would bother me. So I sat back and stared out of my open window, waiting and watching for anything worth my time. Not too long passed until a visitor showed up, or rather two visitors.

 

“Soohyun. Kibum. It’s been awhile,” I confessed in a hushed voice, sending them an eye smile. I really did, their company has been missed greatly.

 

“We’re real sorry. I hope we didn’t intrude,” Kibum says apologetically, Soohyun refusing to meet my eyes. I shook my head and motioned for them to sit down. There was an awkward pause before Soohyun spoke. 

 

“So Kevin, how has everything been treating you? Only tell me the good parts,” he joked. I missed his indirect teasing.

 

“Only the good parts? Then in that case I don’t have much to say,” I told him genuinely. He finally met my gaze, not looking into my eyes, but into me. He could see my sadness, my pain, my guilt; that was his job. He pushed himself up from his chair and held me in a long embrace, whispering into my ear.

 

“It isn’t your fault. It never was, and it never will be.”

 

I couldn’t pinpoint what he was talking about. Kiseop, Eli, everyone else? I got the feeling that he was addressing everything, and to me, that meant the world. He understood me, he respected the fact that I didn’t always want to talk about my problems, that was one of the many reasons I loved him. I held him back in silence, unconsciously shedding a few liquid crystals before wiping them away and lying back down against the hard mattress.

 

“Well… tell me everything,” I told them, and so they did. Kibum went on about his trip. Soohyun talked about the people he met, the monuments he saw and the topnotch restaurants he got to visit. It was nice to just listen again, not having to be trapped in my mind with thoughts I didn’t want to currently deal with. That was the best part of the company.

 

“Hello- oh. Am I interrupting?” Xander made his way across the room to hug me, and then the others. His smile grew larger as he listened to his friends happy welcomes. I too had a tiny grin plastered idiotically on my face, watching my friends interact with each other. I couldn’t help it. Alexander sat down on the foot of my bed, shaking it furiously.

 

“How are you?” he asked with excitement. 

 

“Fine,” I replied, giggling a bit. He leaned up to hug me tightly, which I gladly returned.

 

“There’s a surprise guest coming tonight you know…” he grinned devilishly. That wasn’t a good sign. However, I just assumed Mir had some stupid plan schemed up for tonight for all of us to eat together or play games or do something boringly fun in their minds, so I quickly shrugged it off. 

 

“Aren’t you the least bit curious?” Xander asked, this time with a louder voice. I looked him in the eyes.

 

“Not really,” I told him honestly. He began to pout and cross his arms as he got up and rested against the wall. 

 

“Hmph. You’ll be extra surprised then. But, just promise me you won’t get mad at me for it, okay?” Alexander’s words instantly struck me. Why would he be afraid that I would get mad? Who is it that he has visiting, or what does he have planned for later? The thoughts were scattered in my mind.

 

“I promise,” I said with a hint of doubt. What if I do get angry? What if it’s someone I loathe beyond comprehension? What if it’s-

 

“We brought a couple of films. They’re our favorites,” Kibum chimes in. Soohyun nods his head in agreement and their eyes stare at me with a twinkle. 

 

“Can’t I watch them later? I want to hear all about your adventures.” Soohyun and Kibum went on. And on. And on. They wouldn’t stop. I wasn’t cross, though. I thoroughly enjoyed their presence and stories, I felt like I was there. Riding on horses through the woods, walking along the beach on a breezy afternoon, taking a boat on the lake. I wish I really was there. 

 

Time flies as their tales grow longer and more in depth. My ears peeled because of peak of interest; they talked of butterflies. Monarch butterflies. The thousands they saw flying together across a field, low to the ground and never breaking apart. That was the appeal to me, their togetherness.

 

“It’s almost time,” I heard Xander whisper to Soohyun, who nodded in understanding. Kibum stands up and bows as he sends a goodbye and promises to come back soon.

 

“I should get going too, it was great seeing you again Kevin. Really,” Soohyun admits. He gives me a long hug and departs, leaving only Xander and myself.

 

“What is it Alexander?” I finally manage to question. He only smirks and finds his jacket as he leaves, following the others. I roll my eyes and fall back onto my pillow, rubbing my temples in irritation.

 

It isn’t soon after when I hear knocking on my door.

 

“What is it? You don’t have to knock, just come in,” I tell them.

 

“That would be rude,” the voice says back.

 

No.

 

Why would he do this to me?

 

“I thought I said I never wanted to see you again, Ellison.” The door closed quietly, I whipped my head away from the direction of him. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you, Kevin,” he replies in his hushed husky voice. My body shudders. It’s been so long since that voice has had this effect on me. The way he says my name makes me want to beg to hear it more.

 

“Then what was keeping you from doing so?” I asked rhetorically. He didn’t need to answer, because I already knew why. Mina. He stays silent until I feel something against my cheek.

 

It was a kiss.

 

But one that says, “I’m sorry,” instead of “I love you.”

 

I sit back farther to avoid him. That might have felt like nothing to him, but it was everything to me, and that hurts more than any needle.

 

He sits down in a chair across from me, arms resting on the sides, legs crossed and eyes locked onto me. What did he want?

 

“Well?” I questioned. The news I was dreading finally escaped those perfect plump lips.

 

“We’re engaged.”