Day 243

 

 

“Shhh… he might hear us and wake up! Try to be real quiet or else-”

 

*CRASH*

 

“Woops!”

 

“Damn it Mir!” It was Hoon’s voice. Too late for me, now that I’m awake.

 

“Mmm…hey everyone. Leaving me so soon? No goodbye?” I teased. They smiled and decided to sit back down.

 

“They didn’t even bother to wake us up to leave last night! Guess they are just getting used to our company, aren’t they Xander?” AJ asked with a tiny grin. Alexander nodded and playfully rubbed my head. I smacked his hand away and stretched as I looked at the time.

 

“Dear lord. 12 already?” I said shocked. 

 

“Yep. We just woke up too though…fun night!” Mir replied back with a smile that reached his eyes. He knelt to the side to clean up whatever it was he broke, probably some ugly hospital mold or something. Afterwards we talked about the conditions in the hospital, what I liked and didn’t like etcetera, etcetera. They finally listened to me for once, and didn’t even interrupt me at all. They were changing, in a good way.

 

“Food? Seems kind of ty if you ask me…” Mir said with a grimace as he played with the breakfast the nurse brought me. I laughed at him as I took a huge mouthful of whatever it was.

 

“YUMMMYYY!” I joked. I described my usual diet and how I had no idea what half the stuff I ate even was, but I didn’t seem to mind that much.

 

Before we even knew it, it was 3 o’clock and they had to leave for the day. I waved goodbye as they left giggling about our previous topic. The nurse finally made her appearance again and went along with her daily routine. Nothing hurt today.

 

My face didn’t scrunch up in pain, my arms didn’t shake from the intrusion of a needle, it was just another day. She left and I quickly found something to amuse me for awhile. A television show. I noticed it was based off that book I read from before, the one Kiseop brought me.

 

Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks, they went unnoticed for quite sometime until I decided to lie back down. Then they fell quicker, one right after another, as I thought of him.

 

This great day was turning out to be not so great after all. I felt that I needed to see him, one more time before I went to sleep. I called in a doctor to ask for permission, now wasn’t the time to try and be rebellious. He agreed and they slowly took the monitors off and the needles out. Once I was good to go, I stood up straight and tall and began to stride down the halls. It was a long and painful walk to his room, but once I arrived my heart broke.

 

He was in the same state as I remember days ago. Nothing new. No improvements. 

 

I felt myself shatter into a million pieces. 

 

“Kiseop? Come on…”

 

I whispered his name more and more as I grew closer to him. His machines beeping at a steady pace, he chest moving up and down steadily. 

 

The opposite of my own.

 

I took his hand into mine and squeezed. I squeezed the damn remaining life out of it. I wanted his warmth, I needed it. I whispered into his ear.

 

Memories.

 

All of the great and fun times we had, telling him never to forget them.

 

I didn’t want him to forget the times where I hurt myself and he was always there to help me, to get me out of harms way. There were times I was in trouble and he talked me out of it. There were times when I was scared and alone, and I never contacted him but he knew. He knew I needed him and he was there.

 

He knew every little thing he possibly could about me. But there was still so much I didn’t know about him.

 

He didn’t want to “burden me” he says. Well I burdened him his whole damn life and he never once complained. 

 

Not once.

 

If only he knew he had my shoulder to cry on. How much closer could we have been then? Would he have seen my feelings then?

Would he understand then?

Or would the same thing have happened, only for these past couple days to just repeat themselves and make everyone miserable?

This kid…He doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him. He is too great, too kind and caring to leave the world this way, only having someone as ty as me to be there for him.

 

When I really think about it… I wasn’t even there.

 

There was so much secrecy to him, he was so shut off from me… I just wish there was a better reason than because he was trying to protect me, not to bother me.

 

It doesn’t seem valid for how amazing he really is.

 

And when I think about it as I am… Eli will never match up to what Kiseop was, especially to me. Never. Once a best friend always a best friend.

 

Once the love for a best friend, always the love for a best friend. 

 

I got comfortable on the floor as I squeezed his hand closer to my face and held it there, rubbing circles with my thumb on the back of it. 

 

I dozed off with Kiseop in my arms and silent tears falling at his bedside.

 

 

_______________

 

A/N

...........

*cries*

I have been gone so long I'm not even going to bother trying to make it up.

Forgive me TT.TT

2 freaking months. TWOOOO

I need to get my together. Sorry guys!!

Hope you continue to stick with the story. Because it will get better~ Promise~ ^-^*

*Sorry if you see any mistakes, pretty sure I got all of them*

Love you~

Till next time~

~ Parkkimi