I sat in the front row of seats surrounded by many others. I didn't deserve to be this close. I didn't want to be here in the first place but I knew the others would need my support. As everyone got up and surrounded the casket, I stayed in my seat and stared. I received many disbelieving looks but it didn't matter to me. I honestly didn't give a if I was the only ing person here not ing crying my eyes out.

Daesung grabbed my wrist and pulled me up with him. He wiped his eyes with the tissue in his other hand. As we approached the open, white casket, he began to pull back.

"I don't think I can do this," he said "He was my best friend, Ri. I don't want to see him like that,"

I pulled him along anyways. If he got me out of that chair, we were going to see a body. People cleared the way for us and we walked forward. All he did was lay there. I don't know what I expected though. He was dead. Daesung cried loudly beside me and I held him around his waist as his legs gave out. T.O.P took my place and led Daesung back to his seat.

I stayed a little while longer and examined the body. Neatly prepared in his best tux. The flower sitting in his pocket was a single pink rose: Ji's favorite. His skin, much paler now, was in great contrast to his black mohawk.

Actually he only looked like he was peacefully sleeping. How sweet; I wanted to slap him.

The groups began wandering back to their seats and I followed suit. When everyone was back in their seats and relatively quiet, Jiyong went up to the casket. He placed a few items in but I couldn't see what they were. Next he said a quick prayer, which was inaudible to us, and closed the casket. He went to the podium beside the casket and got himself together; he was obviously distressed.

After a moment, he started to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen," he began, his voice shaky "I can't speak for the rest of you, but I'm here to mourn the death of Dong Youngbae."

His failed attempt at a joke only succeeded in getting stressed cries from a few people in the crowd.

"Okay, look. What is there really to say here? I'd just be telling you stuff you already know. We all know that YB was incredibly shy and extremely talented. We know he was a momma's boy," he gestured to Young Bae's mother who sat beside me "We know that he was an irreplaceable member of BigBang,"

Daesung gave my shoulder a squeeze and nodded beside me. YB was an important member to our group but we probably would just fall apart now. I knew we were over the minute I'd heard the news.

"In all honesty, he was one of the most sincere, caring people I knew. He was concerned about everyone and everything. Hell, he treated Gaho like his own dog."

I rolled my eyes. Seriously getting bored. I don't give a damn about how great he was. He ruined my life. A small laugh escaped Ji's lips.

"I remember once we were at an airport and we were being bombarded by fans left and right. We were all trying to get away but YB stopped for one little girl and gave her his favorite hat," he had finally began crying.

"I can't stay up here much longer, but let me tell you this: Young Bae was an amazing person and although he has done some things that weren't right,"

You're damn right he has. As a matter of fact you're sugar coating that statement.

"I'm extremely lucky that he chose to dedicate the last two years of his life to me. No person here is more fortunate than I to have known him and I will miss him the most."

He choked on the last word of his sentence and rushed off stage to his seat beside T.O.P. I couldn't even focus on the rest of the funeral because I wanted to go comfort Ji the whole time. Hearing his pained cries and not being able to hold him was slowly torturing me. The event seemed to drag on even longer than it should've and I couldn't go anywhere. I seriously couldn't go anywhere, even if I wanted to. Daesung's grip on me was too tight.

They were finally lowering the casket into the ground and people were tossing flowers towards it. They were all pink roses. Even after death he had to rub it in my face that he'd stolen Ji from me. The mourners started heading back to their vehicles. My friends all came to me to tell me that they would be leaving soon. I told them to go ahead without me and that I would find another way home.

I circled the spot where my hyung had just been buried. A smile crept upon my face as an evil thought popped up in my head. I could dance on his grave. Why not? No one was around to see me. I stepped onto the mound of freshly disturbed dirt and dragged my foot across it.

I jumped once a laugh escaped my lips. I continued to jump on his grave while laughing like a maniac. I began spinning around in circles while laughing and then stumbled back.

I had been expecting to hit the ground but I realized I had fallen into a set of arms.I quickly turned around and looked into the face of my ex lover. I huffed and held my head high, hoping that I didn't look as embarrassed as I felt. I just had to play it cool.

"I think I've been drinking!" I yelled and instantly regretted it. So much for playing it cool, Ri.

He leaned forward and put his nose in front of my mouth. "You don't smell like alcohol."

I mentally slapped myself for not coming up with a better lie.

"Why were you standing on YB?" he asked.

"Was I?" I looked back at the spot I had just jumped on multiple times and my mouth formed into the shape of an O. "I honestly had no idea!"

I wonder if he sensed I was lying because of the skeptical look he gave me. I never was good at keeping things from him or anyone for that matter. I just wasn't good under pressure.

"Why are you still here? Everyone has already left."

"What is this? Twenty questions? Stop interrogating me!" I blurted.

He held up both of his hands and took a step back from me.I scratched my head and went to take a seat; No one had removed the chairs yet. He sat beside me and we had a moment of silence until he asked me how I'd been. What was I supposed to say? My life had been crappy since we had broken up but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing what he'd done to me.

"I'm over you, you know!" Really? I hate the fact that I always say whats on my mind even if it's involuntary.

"I never said you weren't, love." he said exasperatedly while rubbing his temples.

"Well if I'm annoying you maybe I should just go." he rolled his eyes and I stood up to leave. As I was walking away from him, I realized he'd done it again. I looked back and saw that he was still sitting there, staring at the place where YB had been buried. Of course I had to go back. I heard him mumbling to himself about how stupid he was and what a big mistake he'd just made.

"I am such an idiot!" he groaned into his hands.

"Well I can't really argue that." I interjected into the conversation he was having with himself.

I placed my hand on his shoulder and bended down only to see his tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. I dropped down on my knees beside him and pulled him into a hug.

"Ji," I tried to comfort him but he was tense in my arms. He tried to squirm away but I held tighter.

"What are you trying to do?" He sounded panicked and struggled against me.

"I just want to make you feel better!" If he didn't keep still, we would be holding another funeral really soon.

"Why?" he stopped fighting me. "You hate me, right? Just let me wallow in my misery."

"Ji," I unwrapped my arms from around his body so that I could hold his hands in mine. "You called me love again. How is it that my reaction to that for second time is late, too?"

A small smile appeared on his face and he shrugged.

"Do you love me again, Jiyong?" I asked. I was half afraid for him to answer my question because there was a 50% chance of him saying no and I didn't like those odds. On the other hand though, I felt like my stomach would come up if he didn't answer soon enough.

He took a deep breath and stared at a passing cloud, "I never stopped loving you." he whispered.

I resisted the urge to tackle him to the ground with kisses. I couldn't get too happy until I got some answers.

"Why the hell did you leave me then?" I yelled and slapped the back of his head.

He rubbed the sore spot that I had just hit and gave me an incredulous look. "It's a long story!" he yelled back.

"I don't know if I ever told you this but

"I've been told that I'm very understanding and a good listener. I also have nothing but time." I sat crossed legged on the ground beside him.

He smiled as I repeated the same thing I had said to him a couple of years ago. Then he started to talk.

"I left you for YB," he began.

"Obviously," I hissed and then tried to calm myself. I'd waited two years for this explanation. Now is not the time to scare him away.

"I left you for him because he was going through hard times then. He was causing himself harm and it killed me to know and not do anything about it."

I never knew. Why the didn't people tell me ? I could've helped! I could've triwed to help at least. Damn it, just shut up. I wasn't exactly the best advice giver so YB probably wouldn't have listened to me anyways.

"Nothing I said to him ever helped. I thought he was going to die because he was doing so much to himself." his voice began to crack and I squeezed his hand. "He finally told me the one thing he wanted: me. I couldn't say no. I've never been able to."

My heart dropped when I started to understand. He had only wanted to protect YB.

"I figured it wouldn't be so bad if you still loved him because you would want him alive,"

He had wanted to protect me. He had went through all that trouble so that we wouldn't be hurt. Well let me rephrase that. He didn't want us to be hurt as much as we could've been. He never even mentioned once how he felt about the situation but I could guess that it was pretty stressful trying to keep two people generally sane. I guess I understood why he did what he did. I can't say that I would've done the same because I'm honestly not that selfless but at least I understood. He stood up.

"Where are you going?" I refused to let go of his hand.

He shook his head and tried to free himself from my grip but I wasn't going to let him go. Not this time.

"Let me go Ri." I shook my head and smiled but he didn't see it because he wouldn't look at me. In order to save time, I just pulled him down to the ground with me.

"I forgive you," I kissed him and almost exploded with happiness. I had been deprived from the feel of his lips for so long. They were so soft. I was practically melting in his arms and I could've stayed there forever had he not pulled away. A new fired burned in his eyes as he jumped up, pulling me with him. He dragged me to his car and pushed into the passenger's seat.

"What the hell Ji?" I was laughing as he drove off at an incredibly dangerous speed. "Where are we going?"

"Marry me." he demanded and I laughed harder because I thought he was kidding. The dead serious look on his face shut me up.

"Right now?" he nodded. "Ji, I don't know what to say." I was taken aback by the suddeness of the situation.

"You love me right? Say yes."

"I don't know."

He slammed on the brakes and we skidded to a stop in the middle of the street. I screamed at the top of my lungs as cars swerved to avoid hitting us but crashed into each other.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he yelled, ignoring the car horns honking around us.

"I just don't know! This is so unexpected."

"Ri," he took my hand and kissed the back of it. "I love you. I have loved for a long time now and I don't want to risk losing you again. Please."

The look in his eyes told me that he wasn't kidding about anything he'd just told me. I could only nod. I had only imagined that he would propose to me. Not like this, but still. I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Now I was going to do exactly that. He started up the car again and drove through a space between the crashed cars as we heard the police coming. This was an interesting way to restart a relationship and I can't say that I didn't like it.

Almost got discouraged from finishing this because people love to make me mad. This was my stress relief though and I hope you enjoyed it! Now I need to go finish some other fics so I hope that gets done soon. Adios!