I was completely happy as I lay beside my lover, no, my partner, my boyfriend. His head rested on my shoulder and our fingers were intertwined. It couldn't possible get better than this! I shivered as the cool air from the A/C blew on me and tried to snuggle closer to him. Well, maybe it could get a little warmer.

"Hyung?" he asked

"Yes, love," I answered absentmindedly

"Are you cold?"

"Just a little." It was silent and I closed my eyes, beginning to drift off to sleep. Seungri sat up beside me.

"Wait a minute! What did you just call me?"

I didn't even bother opening my eyes when I responded, "What did I call you when?"

"Just a second ago!"

. I hadn't realized what I'd done when I did it, but now that it was brought back to my attention, I realized I was screwed. No matter how I looked at the situation, we were going to have to talk. I was afraid of that.

"Jiyong? Do you love me?"

I snorted, "What would make you think that?"

"You called me love! You wouldn't say that if you didn't love me, right?" I didn't respond. "You know that I love you, don't you?"

He was trying to guilt me into saying it but I wouldn't give in. There was no way I could be in love. I barely let myself feel attracted to people, so there was no way I could love anyone. Right? What have you done to me, you bastard! He called my name again softly and I still didn't respond. Only when he tried to get out of bed did I say something.

"Yah! Where are you going?" I held onto his hand and the lamp beside me. He tried to hide his face but I could still see that he was crying. I sighed and pulled him to me.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just difficult for me to explain."

He pulled out of my embrace so that he could look me in the eyes.

"I've been told that I'm very understanding and a good listener. I also have nothing but time."

How did I know that things would end like this? Him getting what he wanted and me making a fool of myself. I knew that before this night was over, I would've told him everything and I don't think I can face him after that.

"Do you love me, Jiyong?" he asked again

"What is love, anyways?" I answered his question with my own question.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Let's try something else then. How do you feel about me?"

I pondered over this for a second and then I carefully answered him "I tend to push all thoughts of you to the back of my mind."

I was satisfied with my answer and then nodded at him. He looked confused and ready to slap me. I repeated what I'd just said under my breath a couple of times before I understood what was happening.

"No offense!" I yelled He raised an eyebrow and I began explaining again.

"You see, I don't want to think about you unless I have to. When I think about you, you just take over everything on my mind and I can't focus on anything else. That makes it kind of hard for me to work, you know."

He gave me a look, urging me to continue. I laid back on my pillow and got comfortable. I focused on a spot on the ceiling before I kept talking.

"Those moments when I do let myself think about you, though, I can't help smiling. Ever since we've been together, I've been really happy. I haven't thought about taking pills without reason or hurting myself. Random things will remind me of you and my day only gets brighter because of it."

This probably sounded really sappy, but I couldn't stop now.

"I get excited just because I get a text from you yet you make me frustrated when you take so long to respond."

I heard him mumble a sorry.

"However, everything is okay when you finally do text me back. And when I get to see you? I don't even know how to describe it! I don't want to share you with anyone else and I just want to hug you and kiss you all the time. I want to go on and on about how amazing you are but I'm afraid that I might push you away."

I turned to look at him now and I grabbed his face in my hands.

"I love your smile and laugh. I love the way you act like a little kid when you don't get what you want and how you rudely you act towards people when they do something you dislike. There's so much I could tell you that I love about you but I'd be too embarrassed to even look at you again if I did. The point is, I feel very strongly about you, but I'm not quite ready to say that it's love. Please accept that, okay?"

He nodded and smiled widely at me.

"I love you," he whispered

"And I really, really like you," I said

He laughed and I leaned in to kiss him.