“You two are homoual,” Lee Soo Man repeated, as if he couldn’t believe it.

Luhan and Sehun nodded, their heads like lead. Luhan stared at his hands. He wanted to strangle someone. How could they find out? Stupid Kai. Stupid Xiumin. He was only afraid that he and Sehun couldn’t date anymore. They wouldn’t be able to show their love to each other anymore. They couldn’t tell each other how beautiful and how amazing the other person was.

“You two realize that being homoual is not good for your images as an idol. I’m afraid if you want to be ‘dating’...you will have to be removed from the company immediately, and you will be replaced.”

Sehun glanced at Luhan. They had to give up their dreams for each other.

“If you wish to remain a part of SM Entertainment, you two cannot date each other. Period.”

Luhan’s breath hitched, and he felt his grip on the armrest grow tighter. He wanted to be only Sehun’s. Only his.

“Make your decision by the end of the month, or you will be forced to be taken out of EXO. You two are dismissed,” Lee Soo Man finally said.

Sehun and Luhan stood up from their seats, and left the room in silence. Luhan wanted to stay in EXO so badly...yet he loved Sehun so much. He didn’t want to give up his only love for a freaking image..

Sehun took Luhan’s small hand into his, squeezing it tightly, for reassurance. “Luhan...I don’t want to stop loving you...” Sehun whispered. “Yet, I worked so hard for this dream to come true, and I’m living in it right now...” His voice cracked as he continued his sentence.

Luhan felt his eyes get teary, and his face get hot in confusion. “I want you so bad,” Luhan choked out, his cheeks now wet with tears.

“I do too, babe..I do too.” Sehun stopped and hugged Luhan tightly in the middle of the empty and quiet hallway. His eyes stared at the light on the ceiling as he heard Luhan’s quiet sobs against his chest.

✭✩✭✩✭✩

For the next week, people gave Luhan and Sehun dirty looks, called them names behind their backs or as they passed. Less and less fans attended the meets, concerts, and shows. They didn’t want to see gay people on their TV or laptop screens. Fans deactivated their accounts on EXO’s main fansite, and they were receiving hate messages in the mail.

“‘If you don’t break up with that Luhan soon, I’m going to come and get you’, ‘EXO doesn’t need gays to be called one’. Geez..these are harsh,” Suho said to himself, as he read some of the letters he had found tossed out in Sehun’s trash basket.

Kris and Xiumin sat next to Suho, going through letters and mail in Suho and Sehun’s dorm room. They were silent for the most part, and some gifts to Luhan included a small pocketknife that had a note, ‘Please go kill yourself, you ’. Kris just bent the flimsy knife and tossed it away.

“This is all my fault..” Xiumin mumbled, putting his face in his hands.

“No, it’s not,” Suho said, not even looking at Xiumin.

When they were done going through the mail, they took pile with the positive ones and put them in a separate bag. It was only one third of the fanmail they had received that week. The other two thirds were full of hate-mail for EXO in general and targeted mostly Luhan and Sehun. They tossed the hate-mail away and Xiumin went to throw the bag in the trash outside.

Later that night, Sehun went to check on Luhan before he went to bed. He poked his head into Luhan’s room, and saw that Luhan wasn’t lying on the mattress like he’d usually find his boyfriend every night. “He went to the bathroom, I think,” Xiumin said, from his bunk.

Sehun said thank you and went to wait at the bathroom door. “Luhan?” he asked, facing the white door.

There was no reply. Sehun frowned. “Luhan?” he pressed again. He heard a sniff, and then he banged on the door. “Luhan, let me in.”

He rattled the doorknob and it opened. He burst in, and saw Luhan at the edge of the bathtub with a small blade in his hand. He was about to cut his wrist, but Sehun rushed over and slapped the blade away from Luhan. “What the hell, Luhan!!?! You scared me half to death!” Sehun embraced Luhan tightly.

“Don’t do that ever again,” Sehun said. Sehun sat down on the edge of the bathtub, and sat Luhan on his lap. Luhan nodded, into Sehun’s chest. Sehun took Luhan’s wrist and rubbed the skin where the older boy was about to cut himself. “Why would you do that..” Sehun mumbled, pressing a kiss against Luhan’s wrist softly.

“I-I can’t choose..” Luhan answered, choking back a sob. “I want to be with you so bad...but..”

“I know...I haven’t made a choice either..” Sehun said, Luhan’s hair. “But we need to choose soon.

“I know you want us to be together forever, right...? Well, you also want to be a part of EXO, too. If we stay together, we have to sacrifice something we worked our whole lives for.”

“But even if we choose to break up, we’re giving up something that means so much to me,” Luhan said.

“Listen to me,” Sehun said. “If we stay in EXO, we can still see each other. We’ll be the best of friends. I will always be there for you.”

Luhan sighed. He rubbed his eyes. He had to make a choice soon.