Yoseob sat beside me then my hair

"I know you miss him. If theres ever anything that bothers you. Talk to me"

I leaned limply against Yoseob and stared blankly at the white colored walls

"You have me"

"Yoseob. Could you read this journal with me?" 

Yoseob smiled warmly at me the took the mini blue journal in his hands

"Hyemi ah

I found out that i'm going to fly to heaven really soon

Did you ever know that i had a disease? 

Today to save myself from having to tell you this I had a friend help me out

I should have became an actor... I sure did fool you

I would never betray you. I wished that you knew that

Maybe I deserved it…i wasnt good enough for you

For many days I have been fighting the urge to call you 

Because i know theres no point when I wont see you anymore

Just know that I always cared and loved you truly

I couldn’t tell you this in person…so i'm sorry

Forget everything about me and live a happy life

However life without you...while you have another man comforting you

I cant help but feel like i have been stabbed several times and is hanging onto the rope alone

Dangling by myself in the midst of nowhere, useless without you" 

Yoseob hesitated 

"Keep reading" I sniffed

"These past few days I've been laying here on this white hospital bed 

with you visiting me frequently

It brought many thoughts to my mind

I wonder if you would be happy

How much did I ever mean to you, Hyemi ah?

You, being the kind angel you were, could easily find someone to replace me

would i just be a forgotten memory?"

I looked down to avoid Yoseob from seeing my tears

"Today i noticed Hyemi, your eyes were puffy and red

Have you been crying?

Dont be sad...It makes me feel bitter watching you being upset about something

It hurts me ten times more than my headaches just to watch you be sad

I hope this beautiful angel of mine will not suffer and will always be happy. Even when i'm gone

I wish that she could understand how much i love her

I would never ask for anything more than her love

PLease let me live just a couple days longer, so i could have more time to look at her

So when i'm dieing i could still remember her face

I once thought that i would be able to forget her

I wanted to forget the look in her sparkling eyes when she looked at me

I wanted to forget her beautiful smile

I wanted to forget her comforting touch

because she was no longer mine

But THats Impossible for me to do

She drives me insane, i cant forget her"

"Lets just stop here. Alright?" Yoseob muttered, his voice was now gentler and I could see the sadness in his eyes

I wrapped my arms around yoseob

"I miss him" i sobbed

"and he misses you too. I'm sure he misses you too"

Yoseob stood up and walked into another room to pick up a phone call

while he did so i continued to read the last few pages Myungsoo had written in

then i came across one,  one that ripped me apart

I can barely control my hand, writing has become so hard

But my every thought of Hyemi has to be written out  

Hyemi is the only girl i will love forever

I wish for her to recieve all the happiness in the world

Please dont ever let her even release a single tear drop

That man, Yoseob, I see that he loves her, My Hyemi

I wish that he treats her well and they live happily in the future with a family of their own

Even if i had to trade her memory of me with her happiness i would be willing

because it's enough for me that i could remember all our memories for her

PLease dear God. Please hear my plead

I love her

I held in my cries into a whimper 

I gently ran my finger over the splotches of blood stained in the edges of the page

How could i ever forget someone like him?

~

A/n: awwwhh...Myungsoo...