Bankruptcy and Threat

Juna’s POV

“Now.. I’m sure you know why I asked you to come here,” I drawled. I tapped my foot for a good effect.

Key glanced at Onew. He shrugged his shoulders in return. Uneasily, Key looked back at me.

I slowly made eye contact with each of the SHINee members, making sure that fear is instilled in every member before I ask my question.

“So… Who is the one who is interested in Mae So?” I suddenly asked.

All eyes turned to Key cautiously.

Aha.

He cleared his throat and looked away.

Why wouldn’t he acknowledge it? Ah. Is it because of me?

Well… It doesn’t matter either way. I need money now. And since they were idols, and they are obviously under my control, why not grab the chance to make money?

“I need you guys to work for me. If you say no, I’ll kill you. If you say yes, well, you won’t die. You’ll just be in hell,” I requested sweetly; a sweet, innocent smile plastered on my face.

Key’s POV

Damn you, Juna! What are you trying to pull?! Stop making use of my obvious pathetic feeling for your own use!

“So… Shall we say yes or no?” Onew carefully asked the other members.

“No,” me, Jonghyun, Minho and Taemin replied in synch, firm on our stand.

Fury flashed in Juna’s eyes for a second as the two-lettered word left our mouths.

“Yes,” we changed our answer meekly, afraid to incur Juna’s wrath.

Sheesh, whoever she is to control what we want to do. But damn… This girl sure is scary…

“Good,” her head bobbed up and down in approval.

She twirled around and walked out.

Our bodies relaxed and slumped against the cabinets as we breathed a deep sigh of relief.

“Kibum... How much problems are you going to give us? If you hadn’t hacked into that guy’s credit card account, maybe we wouldn’t have ended up in this situation. AT ALL,” Jonghyun hyung emphasized.

I smiled sheepishly as I remembered that heartstopping10 million dollar pants. Tax wasn’t even calculated yet.

“YAH. It was worth it. Besides, I simply used my talent to get the money. How was I supposed to know that guy was part of SM’s top authorities, hmm?” I refuted. “Besides---”

“Okay, okay, we get it. Stop nagging,” Onew grinned a cheeky smile before escaping with Taemin.

“Tch. Sure. Leave us alone to fend for ourselves, why don’t ‘cha?” Jonghyun mumbled before I turned my attention on him.

“YAH. Onew talked back to me. ARE YOU GOING TO BE THE NEXT ONE TO DIE?”

Jonghyun shook his head vigorously and scrambled for safety.

Only Minho was left.

“Key hyung... Relax. What’s up with you? You usually never get upset at all these stuff.”

I stayed silent as Minho walked past me.

“Give some thought. Whatever personal thing that’s bothering you, solve it first before you start to hurt somebody,” he gave me a pat on the back before exiting the kitchen himself.

I made a decision. I’m gonna solve that problem. The problem is... I don’t know who is the guy that stole the company’s money.

Minho’s POV

“Stop right there,” a voice shouted from behind me.

“Hey, Juna. Long time no see,” surprise laced my voice as I smiled at her, memories came flooding back. I held my tongue before they start spilling out of me.

She gave me a scowl.

“I almost couldn’t recognize you. What have you done to your personality? I can still recognize your face, but somehow, you changed…”

“Ok, whatever. Just spit it. What do you want to know?” He asked.

“Ha. Funny. I was mistaken. You haven’t changed at all. All right. Tell me, what did Key do?” her voice changed from the fake ectasy to a sarcastic and deep tone.

“You eavesdropped on us eh. I’m sure that you already figured it out from the conversation earlier. You just want confirmation, am I right?” I mused, an eyebrow raised slightly in doubt and wonder.

She stayed silent.

I smiled and tattled off.

FLASHBACK

“Minho-ah~ Can you lend me some money?”

“… How much...”

“Not much, just... 1,200,000 won...”

“If you’re trying to fool me, you’re a fool yourself. What debt have you gotten into this time?”

Key scowled. “Tch. Nothing gets past you nowadays. I’m still better though. I want to get this pair of pants, but it costs like--”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Well, you asked. So can you lend it to me?”

“No.”

“Fine. Whatever. Remember that rich man’s credit card account I hacked that time?”

“You’re not actually thinking of taking advantage of that poor guy, are you?” suspicion deepen my already low voice, “Dude! That’s like a man’s lifetime’s worth of money!”

“Whatever~” He stubbornly said in English.

“Fine. Do whatever you want.”

I don’t believe that you’ll actually do it.

A FEW DAYS LATER

“BWOH?! SM’S BANKRUPT?! WHY? HOW.” My manager screamed into his cellphone.

Onew’s face dropped with the chicken halfway into his mouth, Key stopped flipping through a fashion magazine, Taemin stopped poking Onew to give him some chicken. Jonghyun was... away in his room.

Shin Se Kyung had broken up with him…

I guess she found out before us.

I was just staring at manager hyung.

Everything happened at once.

Onew continued to devour his fried chicken, it’s just that this time, it’s like somebody had pressed the fast-forward button on him.

Taemin pounced on manager hyung, pestering about his 5 bottles of milk daily.

Key jumped on the manager, nagging about his allowance for new clothes.

I dashed to him, concerned with what exactly happened.

“What is it?”

Manager hyung nodded and tried to say something, but whoever was it at the other end had hung up.

He scowled at Taemin and Key as he pulled them off him, “Why do you only care about yourself?”

At this time, Onew chose to make his appearance.

“Waeyo?” I asked with disbelief.

“I needed to finish my chicken faster so I can come over. Why? Is it surprising?” He gave me a shrug and repeated my question to Manager hyung.

“Guys.. Some guy hacked into one of the higher-ups’ credit card account and got 1,200,000 won out of it. It was his lifetime earnings. Even less than that, actually. So he took he company’s money to pay it off. Rules are rules though.. So I have no idea what happened to the guy, but it had been confirmed that the one who hacked into the account is around this area. Be careful, guys. I have some things to settle first.”

With that, he left us with his phone pressed against his ear.

“KIM. KI. BUM.” Onew’s voice thicken with anger.

Wow. Onew got pissed. I had been wondering if he was a 100% cucumber. Guess not.

“WHY ME?! IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN ME!” Key protested.

“Did you take 1,200,000 won from that account?”

“Ye--”

“Do you live around this area?”

“Obvio--”

“THEN THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY. YOU ARE THE REASON WHY I CAN’T HAVE MY DAILY KFC NOW.”

END OF FLASHBACK

I saw Juna nodding her head in sympathy but she caught herself doing it and stopped immediately.

“Now you know. So would you kindly promise me that you won’t spill the beans?”

She gave me a cold, calculating look before leaving.

That’s her way of promising. I’ve known her long enough to know that.

--------

It’s O.V.E.R. Finally. For this chapter XDXD

Hope you liked it. I don’t know what is Minho’s relationship with Juna, but I need comments! Comments give me ideas to what to write next XD

So please comment? ._.

~Aimeki o^o

Edited. ^^ Kekeke. Do subscribe to this story!!! Will be demoralized in updating if there aren’t subscribers. Current subscribers, don’t unsubscribe and readers please subscribe. ^^ Saranghae. ^^

~Jin Ae (ONEWLOVE)

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Rini6189 #1 Mar 16, 2011 18:18:41

Being a former mafia leader, Juna can be intimidating when she wants to be. I wonder what kind of scheme Juna has up her sleeves. xD In US dollars, a million two hundred thousand is a ridiculous amount for just a pair of designer pants. Onew seems overly frustrated about having to part from his "beloved" chicken. The thing that leaves me puzzled is who could be the culprit if Key is not responsible for the theft. I am curious about Minho's relationship with Juna. Maybe they've know each other since childhood? Past nextdoor neighbors? There are so many possibilities to consider. Even more mysterious is that he probably had a dark past that somehow involves Juna. xD I may be overthinking it. I'm just throwing in this idea for fun. 
 
@ ONEWLOVE: Of course I'm not thinking of unsubscribing. I am getting into this story. ^^ It's too good to miss out.

Rini6189 #2 Mar 16, 2011 17:41:11

Chapter 9 mistakes (Part 3): 
 
20. Onew continued to devour his fried chicken, it’s just that this time, it’s like somebody had pressed the fast-forward button on him. 
Correction: Onew continued to devour his fried chicken. Though, it’s just that this time it’s like somebody had pressed the "fast forward" button on him. 
 
21. Taemin pounced on manager hyung, pestering about his 5 bottles of milk daily. 
Correction: Taemin pounced on Manager hyung and pestered him about his daily five bottles of milk. 
 
22. Key jumped on the manager, nagging about his allowance for new clothes. 
Correction: Key jumped on the manager and nagged about his allowance for new clothes. 
 
23. I dashed to him, concerned with what exactly happened. 
Correction: I dashed to him, concerned about what exactly happened. 
 
24. Manager hyung nodded and tried to say something, but whoever was it at the other end had hung up. 
Correction: Manager hyung nodded and tried to say something, but whoever it was on the other end had hung up. 
 
25. He scowled at Taemin and Key as he pulled them off him, “Why do you only care about yourself?” 
Correction: He scowled at Taemin and Key as he pulled them off him and questioned, "Why do you only care about yourself?" 
 
26. Rules are rules though.. 
* Comma before "though" 
 
27. Onew’s voice thicken with anger. 
* It's "thickened" since you're writing this fic in past tense. 
 
28. I had been wondering if he was a 100% cucumber. 
* "hundred percent" 
 
29. I saw Juna nodding her head in sympathy but she caught herself doing it and stopped immediately. 
* A comma is needed before the conjunction "but." 
 
30. She gave me a cold, calculating look before leaving. 
* The comma is not necessary here since it disrupts the smooth flow of the sentence. To sort out this confusion about whether the comma is needed, try replacing the comma between two adjectives in your mind and think of whether it sounds awkward that way to you as you say it aloud. (Example: stupid brown chicken)

Rini6189 #3 Mar 16, 2011 17:39:45

Chapter 9 mistakes (Part 2): 
 
10. “Give some thought. Whatever personal thing that’s bothering you, solve it first before you start to hurt somebody,” he gave me a pat on the back before exiting the kitchen himself. 
Correction: "Give it some thought. Whatever personal thing is bothering you, solve it first before you start to hurt somebody," he advised. Then he gave me a pat on the back before exiting the kitchen himself. 
* Refer back to #9 regarding separate paragraphs. 
 
11. “Stop right there,” a voice shouted from behind me. 
Correction: “Stop right there!" A voice shouted from behind me. 
 
12. “Hey, Juna. Long time no see,” surprise laced my voice as I smiled at her, memories came flooding back. 
Correction: “Hey, Juna. Long time no see,” I greeted her. Surprise laced my voice as I smiled at her and memories came flooding back. 
*Dialogues are always separate from paragraphs. 
 
13. I can still recognize your face, but somehow, you changed… 
Correction: I can still recognize your face, but somehow you've changed… 
 
14. her voice changed from the fake ectasy to a sarcastic and deep tone. 
Correction: Her voice changed from a fake ecstasy to a sarcastic deep tone. 
 
15. You eavesdropped on us eh. 
Correction: You eavesdropped on us, eh? 
 
16. I’m still better though. 
* A comma should be put before "though." 
 
17. suspicion deepen my already low voice, 
Correction: I questioned with suspicion deepening my already low voice. 
 
18. Onew’s face dropped with the chicken halfway into his mouth, Key stopped flipping through a fashion magazine, Taemin stopped poking Onew to give him some chicken. 
* You forgot to add the conjunction "and" before "Taemin." 
 
19. I was just staring at manager hyung. 
* "Manager" should be capitalized since it's the title they refer to him as though it's a name.

Rini6189 #4 Mar 16, 2011 17:38:18

Chapter 9 mistakes: 
 
1. And since they were idols, and they are obviously under my control, why not grab the chance to make money? 
Correction: Since they are idols and they are obviously under my control, why not grab the chance to make money? 
 
2. “I need you guys to work for me. If you say no, I’ll kill you. If you say yes, well, you won’t die. You’ll just be in hell,” I requested sweetly; a sweet, innocent smile plastered on my face. 
Correction: “I need you guys to work for me. If you say 'no,' I’ll kill you. If you say 'yes,' well, you won’t die. You’ll just be in hell,” I requested sweetly. A sweet innocent smile was plastered on my face. 
 
3. “So… Shall we say yes or no?” 
Correction: “So… Shall we say 'yes' or 'no'?” 
 
4. “No,” me, Jonghyun, Minho and Taemin replied in synch, firm on our stand. 
Correction: “No,” Me, Jonghyun, Minho and Taemin replied in synch; firm on our stand. 
 
5. “Good,” her head bobbed up and down in approval. 
Correction: “Good,” she uttered as her head bobbed up and down in approval. 
* Bobbing is not a verbal action. 
 
6. How much problems are you going to give us? 
Correction: How many problems are you going to give us? 
* "Much" is used to refer to a certain amount or number of something and a limit or a restriction of the amount is implied. (How much money do I owe you?) "Many" is a broad term that doesn't refer to a specific amount of something and there's no limit involved as though it's immeasurable. 
 
7. I smiled sheepishly as I remembered that heartstopping10 million dollar pants. 
Correction: I smiled sheepishly as I remembered that heart-stopping ten-million-dollar pants. 
* Numbers should be spelled out in writing. 
 
8. “Okay, okay, we get it. Stop nagging,” Onew grinned a cheeky smile before escaping with Taemin. 
Correction: Onew responded to cut me off. He grinned a cheeky smile before escaping with Taemin. 
* The second sentence should be written as a separate paragraph from the dialogue.

Rini6189 #5 Mar 13, 2011 05:59:49

@ ONEWLOVE: The poster looks nice. It seems that you friend must've done a good job in putting it together. Way to add your "color" into the story. Colorcoding things do make it nice to look at and it also makes the page less dull. Yellow is hard to read on a bright or clear background. Any color except yellow should be fine.

Rini6189 #6 Mar 2, 2011 11:08:30

@ Aimeki: I see. Foreigners do tend to have a hard time speaking English fluently. Whatever you need help understanding, I'll do my best to explain it to you. Quotation marks ("") are placed before and after the dialogue, the part that the character is speaking. In that sentence, a question mark is an example of a punctuation mark. The other known punctuation marks are periods, exclamation points, apostrophes, commas, hyphens, colons, and semicolons. Not all punctuation marks are used at the end of sentences. The third Chapter Four mistake that I pointed out should be invalid. In a dialogue or a quote, the punctuation mark at the end should always be placed before the second set of quotation marks. It's something that my an English teacher of mine in high school mentioned. You'll also notice this in English books/novels where the authors wrote the dialogues and quotes. 
 
Since Mae So doesn't know anything about guys from not being in school, she won't be able to judge them before getting to know them. Having a nonprejudiced mind, she seems to be a carefree person. 
 
I hope you're learning from the mistakes that I pointed out. 
 
Studying is first on your priority list when you have upcoming tests. Good luck! ^^ 
 
Yep! Your co-author definitely did a good job on it. 
 
@ ONEWLOVE: Hi! I don't mind the change in style. Different can be good. The combination of your efforts make for some good and better chapters to look forward to reading.

Rini6189 #7 Mar 2, 2011 11:04:12

After reading this chapter, it turns out that my previous perception of Juna is wrong. She actually wants to help Mae So with improving her image. It is nice of her to go through such lengths for her. From the intimidating aura that she gives off around Key and the rest of the guys, she acts like an overprotective big sister towards Mae So. It gives me the impression that Juna might be threatening the guys with something if things don't end up well between Mae So and them. That's something I'd expect coming from a former mafia leader.

Rini6189 #8 Mar 2, 2011 02:09:59

Chapter 7 mistakes (Part 3): 
 
16. She trimmed it to reach my shoulders, compared to my old long waist-length hair. 
Correction: She trimmed it to reach my shoulders, which is a contrast to my old long waist-length hair. 
* "Contrast" refers to how one thing is different from another. 
 
17. I pulled a what-the-hell-are-you-serious look as she pointed to the fitting room. 
Correction: I pulled a "What the hell! Are you serious?" look as she pointed to the fitting room. 
 
18. "You look like you died and got revived through a very painful method." Key joked. 
Correction: "You look like you died and got revived through a very painful method," Key joked. 
 
19. He plastered on an enthusiastic smile when he saw Juna standing near the kitchen entrance, tapping her feet on the marble floor. 
* The comma is not necessary here. 
 
20. "Don't make me wait." She muttered loud enough for Key to hear with a dangerous edge and entered the kitchen. 
Correction: "Don't make me wait," she muttered loud enough for Key to hear with a dangerous edge and entered the kitchen. 
 
These are all the mistakes I've found for you, Aimeki. It's a little less than what I saw last time. You're getting a little better at writing. Maybe you have your co-author, OnewLove, to thank for it.

Rini6189 #9 Mar 2, 2011 02:04:44

Chapter 7 mistakes (Part 2): 
 
10. "I think a change of apartment is necessary." He continued. 
Correction: "I think a change of apartment is necessary," he continued. 
* In this case, the dialogue should've ended with a comma instead of a period because there's a subject (he) after it. 
 
11. She'll be so different that no one can recognise her at all. 
* In American English, it's spelled "recognize." If you're writing in Australian English, then the spelling is correct. 
 
12. Something stuck around my mind the whole time we were "shopping". 
Correction: Something stuck around my mind the whole time we were "shopping." 
 
13. The hair stylist pulled and snipped my hair into many different angles. 
Correction: The hairstylist pulled and snipped my hair in many different angles. 
 
14. For someone so small size, she really do have a lot of energy. 
Correction: For someone so small in size, she really does have a lot of energy. 
 
15. When the stylist held the mirror in front of me, I took a look at my hair and I have to say, Wow. 
Correction: When the stylist held the mirror in front of me, I took a look at my hair and I have to say, "Wow."

Rini6189 #10 Mar 2, 2011 02:03:11

Chapter 7 mistakes: 
 
1. I complained, as I struggled against her strong hold on my wrist. 
* The comma is not necessary here. 
 
2. "A Makeover," Juna unnie said non-chalantly. 
Correction: "A makeover," Juna-unnie said nonchalantly. 
 
3. Juna loosen her hold on my wrist as she stopped. 
Correction: Juna loosened her hold on my wrist as she stopped. 
 
4. Polka-dots with a frumpy granny dress? 
* It's written as "polkadots" without a hyphen since it's a noun in this sentence. 
 
5. I didn’t have time to read her expression; she grabbed my wrist once again and dragged me behind her. 
Correction: I didn’t have time to read her expression. She grabbed my wrist once again and dragged me behind her. 
* These phrases are better written as two separate sentences because of different subject pronouns ("I" and "She"). 
 
6. I stared into her back as she dragged me, nervousness emitted from her back. 
Correction: I stared at her back, which emitted nervousness, as she dragged me. 
* To combine this into one sentence where you don't repeat the same words, you add the phrase after the repeated words in the second phrase ("her back") and insert the commas to make it seem separate from the first phrase since it's serving as an interruption from the main point of the sentence. 
 
7. Worry started to fill me but she looked back and gave me a smile. 
* A comma is needed before the conjunction "but." Without a pause there, the sentence doesn't seem to flow smoothly and that makes it a run-on. The phrase starting from "but" to the end of this sentece is called a dependent clause. 
 
8. It just that… 
Correction: It's just that… 
 
9. "For me to know and for you to find out," he chided. 
Correction: "That's for me to know and for you to find out," he chided.