Chapter 12 – Butterfly

He sat with the broken pieces of his mask on the barber’s seat, staring into the mirror while the hairdresser snipped away at his hair.

“Aww, look at you cutie pie!” The blonde hairdresser known as Lu Han cooed. “You’ll be a stunner when I’m done with you. If eyes are the windows to the soul then hair is the frame to the face, I always knew you were a pretty boy. My senses are never wrong!”

He smiled politely and the hairdresser cooed again. Jongdae had insisted that he got his haircut at this place called Hair Fairytale because he knew a buddy who worked there and could get him a discount. All he had to do was ask for Lu Han because according to Jongdae, “He really knows his . He’ll make you sparkle.”

But now, he wasn’t so sure.

What bothered him more was that there was nothing wrong with his old hairstyle. It was long and bland and tied up in a ponytail most of the time, but it was exactly how he liked it. It meant no upkeep and no trips to the hairdresser and no special products he had to buy just to keep it in shape and if it got too much, he could just cut it himself. Exactly how he liked it. But change was good, right?

“I don’t want to be too sparkly, please” were the first words he uttered when he entered the store, eliciting a laugh from the bubbly blonde, and now that he was sitting here in the chair while Lu Han whisked the drape off him and presented his new haircut, sparkly wasn’t exactly what he felt.

“So? Do you like it? I bet you love it!”

He looked at the excitable man, then looked back at the mirror, analysing it. His shoulders slumped and he didn’t exactly know why. It was a practical cut, layered from the crown and shaved at the nape with a slight fringe, nothing to get in the way of his work. By all accounts it was a great haircut.

“Honey, you don’t like it?”

Glancing sideways, he noticed his hairdresser’s downcast eyes and little pout and the overall slump in his posture. He felt awful. Neither spoke for a while.

“It’s not me.” He said finally.

Lu Han deliberated on this for a while. “Too sparkly?”

He gave a wry smile. “Yeah. Too sparkly.”

“I can fix that.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think you can.”

Lu Han’s face fell. “Are you sure? I’ll even do it for free.”

He shook his head again. “Thank you very much, but I’ll have the bill now please.”

“Oh. Sure. That’ll be $15. Tell Jongdae I said hi.”

“Okay.” He turned towards the door. “It’s not your fault, Lu Han. I think you did a great job. It’s just… I don’t even know.”

Lu Han smiled at him kindly. “That’s okay, Yixing. I think you’re just more comfortable being a caterpillar instead of a butterfly, and that’s perfectly fine.”

He nodded slowly. “Probably.”

“Good. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

He walked around the town for a bit before stopping at his lab, where a surprise awaited him. It was Jongdae, with bags and bags full of clothes and a cute eyelinered man standing beside him. “I enlisted the help of my good friend Baekhyun to give you a makeover. He does my stage costuming and makeup. After you’re done, you won’t even recognise yourself!”

He scratched at the back of his neck, which felt oddly now that his ponytail didn’t swish at it. “I thought it was only going to be a haircut.”

“Nope! You told me the full deal.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah, you said change is good. Change is human.”

“Oh. I guess I did.”

Jongdae put a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to go through with this? Sometimes, change takes a while to settle in.”

He nodded. “No, I said I would at least try. Maybe I’ll like it?”

“Okay. Baekhyun, you’re up!”

Yixing tried shirt after shirt after shirt for the next few hours, and after that he was given different types of pants that he wasn’t even aware existed and tried them on too. Some of them were too loose and baggy, some were so tight that he wondered how anybody, much less a man, was able to walk in them. Baekhyun, who was wearing one right now, didn’t seem to have much difficulty. Alright, he noted, he would ask him for advice then.

After the pants came the shoes and again, he didn’t know so many different styles were possible. Then came the jackets, then the bags, then belts, then makeup, and he wasn’t very sure why makeup was even involved because it just seemed to be like wearing another type of mask.

“Oh sweetie, makeup’s not a mask. It’s only a mask if you use it wrong.” Baekhyun snorted, pulling out his makeup brushes. “If you do it right, as I’m about to show you, it accentuates your features.”

“But is it necessary?”

He was made to listen to a 30 minute lecture on why makeup was DEFINITELY necessary. He still didn’t get it.

After the whole ordeal ended, he was wearing a thin tank top with a shiny leather jacket over some tight pants and expensive sneakers. Baekhyun had styled his hair a bit so that his fringe curved to one side of his face, and they had lightly lined his eyes with black eyeliner of the liquid type. They were going to gloss his lips too but he managed to convince them they were not dry, ergo they didn’t need any moisturising.

“I thought the flaming gay man was a stereotype?”

Jongdae laughed. “Oh, he exists. Stereotypes have to start somewhere, right?”

He supposed that made sense.

“Now, off to meet your prince!”

“That sounds awful, please stop it.”

They only laughed at him harder.

When he arrived at Wufan’s house, he didn’t know what to do. He felt packaged, like somebody stuffed him in a box with a ribbon and then shipped him off with a user manual. How was he supposed to act? Was he supposed to be himself?

No, he had gone much too far to turn back now. Change is good, he reminded himself. Change is human.

He reluctantly rang the doorbell.

A barefoot Wufan opened it. “May I help you?”

Checking to make sure everything was still in its place, he smoothed out his outfit and then looked up.

His boyfriend did a double take. “Y-Yixing?”

He nodded shyly.

“Is that really you?”

It’s now or never.

He leaned up and caught his partner in a passionate kiss. “I’m ready.”

Wufan’s face lit up. “Well then, come in.” He gestured inside.

A butterfly who doesn’t know how to fly is not a butterfly at all, just a caterpillar with shiny wings. He ignored it. Do you want to fly now, butterfly? Yes. Then why are you still standing outside?

Wufan gave him a puzzled glance.

“ me.”

Wufan carried him towards the bedroom all while kissing him all over. “Gladly.”

He had everything he wanted now.

Then why did it feel like he was still wearing a mask?

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Author's notes: Super super late chapter! I have no excuses. Have you given up on me yet? Haha

The next chapter might or might not come, so don't get your hopes up just yet. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me even though I've been completely unreliable about the whole thing. To the new readers, welcome! Oh, and just a note about the makeup thing: in countries like Japan and Korea, makeup for guys is actually quite normal and subtle (not like the exaggerated case here in this chapter, which is normally reserved for celebrities and idols XD). They have a section in the makeup department just for males and usually to make a good impression in job interviews and the like, some men learn how to wear it by taking a course.

I've read all your comments and want to thank you for your encouraging support. So thanks guys! You guys are awesome! :)