Title: Bet on it
 

Author: iiRAWRyoo

Reviewer: winter_stars
azn-forever.blogspot.com
 

*reviewer’s note: if some of my comments you feel down on, I’m sorry i wasn’t meant to make you feel down, just writing ways that you can improve*

Title 4/5
It is short and straight on, the way you capitalised the ‘bet’ and ‘it’ made it eye-catchy

Foreword 4/5
The Characters from the beginning was introduced but wasn’t specific enough, you could have gain points if you introduced them separately. Your teasers made the story interesting, and had a little twist, which makes the readers curious, so you had extra points from that.
 

Poster/BG 6/10
The poster wasn’t really eye-catching because it was just a picture, it would have been better if you the title of your story was on it and a bit more decoration, would make it more original and linked to your story. Another is that you should have had the poster where khun was with Yoona and taec was with yuri since that was you first ending and you alternate ending you should use the current post. I know asian fanfiction don’t do backgrounds so i won’t take points down for that.
 

Plot 17/20
The plot was interesting in ways how you made things twist around, which would make readers curious of what is going to happen next. The thing that brought your points down, that there is no actual plot written, you had the MV, but you could have written it in  your own words too, just incase readers can’t use youtube, or internet for youtube to load, but then overall the plot was good.
 

Characterization 12/15
How you made a twist in the story I thought was interesting, at first it made me thought that teac will go with Yoona and Khun with yuri, more directly from the poster, but then you made it to teac with yuri and khun with yoona, with this twist it made you gain points, because it was unexpected, but could have thought it was a possible outcome
 

Creativity/Originality 14/15
It wasn’t original so you kinda lost marks from that, but the way you created a story which is different from what i expected at first just from the MV was real creativity. How you made a 4 year old act like a mature kid, to me I think was really creative, and sort if funny in some ways. How they began with the bet, and turned out falling with each other, is not something i haven’t seen before, but how you charaterised was interesting. How you made an alternate ending was also good, to me i think the readers would want to know both outcomes, or they can choose to read either, so how you ended it was good.
 

Spelling/Grammar 10/10
Through reading this fanfic, i didn’t find any spelling and Grammar mistakes xD
 

Flow 5/5
The Flow of this story was good, and steady. You didn’t have a lot of skipping parts, like few days later…, because of this it was much more easier to read and to understand.

Writing Style 10/10
Your writing style was easy to understand, and wasn’t complicated at all, so to all ages the would understand
 

Overall enjoyment 4.5/5
I didn’t give you full marks on this because at some times it went a little boring, if adding cliff hangers it might gain you the extra half a point, to make the readers curious, but other than that i really liked it <3
 

Total 86.5/100