Joon's POV

     It was the last class of the day finally, and I was starting to doodle in my notebook. Whenever I got bored, I always doodled or I teased others. But, I knew no one in this class, so there was no one for me to tease. Doodling it was. My day was going fine so far, but I was still tired from being out so late last night. At least everything was fixed now. I didn't have anything to worry about. 

"Joon-ah, can you tell me what the quadratic formula is?" My math teacher was standing over me, staring at my drawing of a unicorn and stars. Could this become anymore humiliating?

I struggled for words, fiddling with my pencil I forced out any words that would come, "I...It's..." Everyone in the class started snickering and whispering to their friends. So, it could get more humiliating. 

My teacher snatched my notebook from under me and held it up to the class, "See, class? This is what is not acceptable. Please pay attention, Mr. Lee."

     She slapped the notebook back in front of me and I bowed to her as she walked back to the front of the class. "Alright, that project is due by the end of this week. That gives you four days to complete it. Please, get started as soon as possible."

I gathered my books off of my desk and slid them inside my backpack, zipping it up and walking towards the door. I turned around and faced the teacher, "I'm going to the bathroom." This was a lie, but my teacher and classmates fell for it. So, I didn't make a big scene about it.

     Once I was out of the classroom, I took a deep breath and ran outside to the balcony, a place where I could be alone to think. It was freezing outside, and I didn't have a coat to wear, so I took a seat on the railings that outlooked the school and began my thinking. Last night was such a terrible night for me. Jonghyun and I had ran miles to escape those thugs. I kept telling Jonghyun numerous times before to never go out alone past  eight o'clock. He never listened to me, though, he said I sounded like his dad. Jonghyun thought he was right about everything, and he hated to be told what to do. One time, he even got mad at me because I told him how to properly fold a shirt. I just wished that sometimes Jonghyun would change his ways and open up to the world, but I knew that this would never happen.

     My mom always tried to talk Jonghyun into joining classes somewhere. Not an anger managment class, but a talent class where they had tons of activities set up for you to figure out what your talent was. My mom enrolled me in a talent class, and I chose dancing and art as my talent. Whenever I danced I could feel my anger and worries escape my mind. It was like no one was watching me. I loved the feeling of my feet moving to a beat, and I loved the way people watched me in amazement. It made me want to dance more. Sometimes I think I was born to be a dancer, but sometimes I thought my dancing was terrible and that I was only fooling myself. My mind was like this a lot, negative and filled with unwanted thoughts. I wanted to keep dancing until I couldn't dance anymore. That was what I was going to do. I often went to open dance studios where anyone and everyone could come to dance freely. Seeing those dancers out there moving and having fun only inspired me more to dance.

     Art, on the other hand, was different from dance. I'm a skecther, and a painter. Whenever I drew, this meant that I was happy and I wanted to express myself in a different way. I often drew things like comic characters, and people around me. My mom told me never to draw a woman in my sketchbook or on my art easel. She told me that this meant I was in love. I never took her word for it, but she was the only woman I have ever drew in my book. I love my mom, and I care for her a lot. I love drawing her as well, because her face was like a model's face. She often denied this, but she loved when I came running down the stairs with a new drawing for her to hang up.

"Umma! Umma! Look! I drew another picture of you!" I ran down the stairs, sliding beside my mom on the couch and holding up a large canvas of my mom, I was seven years old. 

My mom cheered and clapped for me, smiling and giving me hugs and kisses. "Aigo, Joon-ah! This painting is the best painting I have seen in so many years!" I knew she was lying, because she was staring at a canvas with scribbles and lines and dots all over it. But, I didn't care, as long as she hung it up and aknowledged it everytime she walked in. I gave my mom a long hug.

I whispered in her ear, "Umma, saranghaeyo."

"Joon-ah! Lee Joon! Joon Lee! Yah!" Snapping me out of my flashback, Jonghyun was standing below me on the platform, waving up at me to get my attention. Whenever I didn't hear him calling my name, Jonghyun would call my name in different orders, and he even would spit some of my nicknames like "Fake Muscles". 

I flashed Jonghyun a quick smile and hopped down from the balcony, it was the first balcony, so it wasn't as high. "Jong! HyunJong! Dino! Rawr!" I roared in Jonghyun's face, teasing him back. I gave him a slap on the back of his head and laughed, ruffling his hair like he was a child. 

"Where have you been? They told me to come looking for you. You lied and told them you were going to the bathroom?" Jonghyun' face turned serious and so did mine. 

"Ah, yeah. I had to get out of class. It was so boring...I even started drawing unicorns on my notebook. That's how bored I was." I thought for a second and added, "Why did you come get me, though? Weren't you all the way on the other side of the school? How did they reach you?" 

Jonghyun's serious face suddenly cracked and turned into a bright, open-mouthed, smile, "I'm just ing with you, man! I was bored in art class all alone, so I figured you were out here." Jonghyun stared at the schoolyard and scratched his head, "Should we...you know, leave before everyone turns into a search team?"

Jonghyun and I both laughed, starting to walk towards the main street. "It's always relaxing to come out on the balcony and think whenever I am alone."

The mood suddenly changed, going from a goofy setting to a sentimental, honest talk session, "Is it? You know, Nicole told me she liked to come out whenever she wanted time to think."

"Nicole?"

"Oh, that's right, I didn't introduce her to you. You zoomed off too fast this morning. Nicole is new here, she's an exchange student from Los Angeles in America." Jonghyun continued talking, "I met her this morning by her locker. I showed her around. She's a keeper, man. I think I should talk to her more often."

I furrowed my eyebrows and chuckled, slapping Jonghyun on his back, "You like her? You should have gotten her number. Do you have any classes together?"

"All of our morning classes, but I also walk her to her afternoon classes. It's too soon to say if I like her for sure or not, and it's way too soon to get her number. She would definitely think I'm a stalker. I want a relationship like you and H-..." Jonghyun's voice slipped off and he quickly changed the subject, "Do you like anyone this year? There are tons of cute girls that are new here."

I shook my head in response to his question. "No one..." I bit my lip and suddenly my eyes were glued to the ground. I couldn't stop thinking about her. That smile she had always gave me, that baby voice she always used when she wanted something. It was all too cute for me to handle. I missed her, but I knew I couldn't have her back. Not after what happened last year during Christmas break.

"Oppa! I...can't come with you today." I was standing there, holding a bouqet of flowers, her favorite, blue roses. I was also nestling a box of chocolates and a card.

"But...it's Valentine's day...and normally on Valentine's day we take a long walk and exchange gifts. We've been doing it for the past year, come on, don't be ridiculous!" I slid the door wider and stepped in. I quickly regreted this decision when I noticed Hyunseung staring up and me from the couch. He didn't have a shirt on and his hair was messed up. Hyunseung was a Junior like me, and he was known to play all of the girls at my school. But, I didn't know one of those girls happened to be my girlfriend, Hyuna. Before I thought about it, I immediately threw down the flowers and chocolate, chucking the card at Hyunseung and running my hands through my hair. I couldn't believe my eyes. My girlfriend was cheating on me...on Valentine's day. I wanted to hit her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I couldn't hit the one I loved. Instead, I slammed my fist into the wall, leaving my knuckles bloody and swollen. I didn't care about the pain, because it wasn't the only pain I was feeling at the time.

"Yah! Joon! Are you listening to me man?" Jonghyun must have still been talking when I was thinking deeply about an event I didn't want to mention. Instead of answering him, I just ran off down the street, disappearing behind my apartment door. 

I could hear Jonghyun's cries behind me, "Joon! Joon-ah!" I ignored him, I didn't want to be next to anyone at this time. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to cry alone in my room, I couldn't show my emotions to anyone, so I kept them lingering inside of me, and saved them for when I was alone. I missed her so much, and during this last year, I have become a bad person. I wanted to change, but I knew it wasn't possible for me to do.