Gikwang

After we got in I felt the ferris wheel move us up. I looked next to me to see Sora waving to Yoora and Hyunseung. I looked down to Yoora and tried to keep calm. She gave me an apologetic smile and then got into the next cart with Hyunseung.

"So.... It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" asked Sora as she looked out the window.

"Yeah, it is..." I said looking out to the stars.

"So are you having a good time?" she asked.

I gulped down the brutal truth. What I wanted to say was that I wasn't having a good time. I was actually getting annoyed of her. But of course, I can't. Knowing that it's not the right thing to say, and because of Yoora.  

"Um... Yeah, I am. Are you?" I said nervously

"Mhmm. I've always wanted to come here as a date with someone. But never got the chance. Have you ever wanted to go somewhere with a girl before?" she looked at me.

"I've always wanted to go and watch the Banpo Bridge fountain like up with colors with the girl I like..." I said honestly. 

"Really? That sounds so romantic. You don't seem like that type." she laughed. I laughed too.

"Yeah, I really don't." I looked out the window and then looked out the window behind us and saw Yoora and Hyunseung. Yoora was looking out the window when Hyunseung said something to her. Yoora turned around and he kissed her. My heart felt like it was slowly crumbling. I saw Hyunseung quickly pull away and say something. As he was in the middle of saying something Yoora grabbed him by the collar and forcefully kissed him. Hyunseung reacted slowly but then eventually began to kiss her back.

"What are you looking at?" Sora turned around and witnessed it. I heard her gasp and saw he gawk at them.

I turned back around and so did Sora. She awkwardly laughed and said "Well.... that's.. yeah..." We came to a stop and we weren't at the very most top, about 3 carts away. None the less, the view was beautiful. But the beauty of this view cannot mend this pain.

Everything in this atmosphere felt awkward. I knew Sora looked at me a couple of times. I hope she wasn't expecting us to kiss. That would just take this 'date' overboard. After a few more minutes the ferris wheel began to move again. We slowly went to the very top, and slowly descended. I didn't dare to looked back at their cart.

Sora and I got off and I held her prizes. We waited until Hyunseung and Yoora came out. He helped her out gently and held her hand the whole time. They walked up to us and smiled. 

"So do you guys want to leave or...?" asked Hyunseung.

"Y-Yeah, I'm kind of exhausted." said Sora, and I couldn't of agreed more. "Alright, then let's leave." We started walking off the pier and to the parking lot by the beach. Once we got to the parking lot, we seperated ways.

"I'll message you sometime..." said Yoora to Hyunseung. He smiled and nodded to her. 

"Take care girls, drive safely." he said. They nodded and walked away from us to their car. Hyunseung and I walked away from them as well and to our car.

Once we got in, I stayed silent. Hyunseung took notice too.

"So... did you have fun with Sora?" he asked.

"U-Uh... yeah. She was really nice and fun..." It wasn't a complete lie.

"Did you have fun?"

"Actually... I did." Yeah, I'm sure you did. Especially since that kiss made your night. Hyunseung started up the car and began to drive me to my apartment. We stayed silent the whole way. Once he dropped me off, I bid him a goodbye and entered my empty apartment.

The image of them kissing was burning my brain. As if it were frying it. I shook my head and headed for the kitchen to get a drink. I took out a glass and some whisky. Just by looking at the brassy color of the alcohol, it made me want it. One cup led to another, and another. Soon enough, I was drunk. I didn't know why I got drunk. But it didn't help with the images of them in my head.  It actually made it worse. I stumbled up the stairs and collapsed onto my bed. Hallucinations appeared. 

Yoora and Hyunseung were kissing, laughing, being overall happy. I screamed at the top of my lungs, trying to get them away from me. All my fighting led me to weariness. My eye lids became heavier and I out. 

 

Yoora

2 weeks have gone by quickly since the double date. Sora still goes to the bar to talk to Gikwang. But she doesn't gawk, she actually tries to know him, and understand him. She calls me and tells me that they're having actual conversations now. I laughed at her when she said that. I was happy for her. I just wonder how Gikwang feels about it though. 

I haven't seen Hyunseung in 5 days. He's been busy with work that I haven't had the chance to see him. That's why today I'm going over to his house. It's not only because I haven't seen him, but because I want to talk to him about us. Honestly, I don't know what we are. 

5 days ago, we hung out. He took me to a movie and then took me to a restaurant. We had a lot of fun, I was so happy. But, he never said it was a date. I want to assume it is, but I really don't know. 

The elevator opened and a long hallway, with about 7 doors on either side, came into view. I looked down at my text message and re-read it: '#5239, 6th floor. Just walk in." I walked out of the elevator and looked at each number on the door carefully. The numbers got higher and higher, until  I reached a door ont he left with the number 5239 in gold. 

My hand touched the cold knob and turned it slowly. The door opened smoothly and the smell of Hyunseungs fresh cologne overwhelmed me. Footsteps echoed and came closer. I closed the door behind me and began to take my shoes off. I neatly placed them to the left and out of the way. When i came back up, Hyunseung was drying his wet hair with a towel. He gave me a smile and walked closer to me. 

"Hey, you came quicker than I expected." he pulled me into a deep hug. He was warm and smelled great. He lead my into the living room after the hug and we both sat down on the couch. 

I felt weird being in his apartment for the first time. "Don't be uncomfortable. I mean, it's just you and me." Hearing him say that made me even more nervous. 

His hand patted my thigh and he said "Please, don't be nervous. I'm not going to pull anything." I placed my hand ontop of his and smiled. 

"I want to talk about us." I said "I'm confused about us. I want to say we're dating, but I'm not sure if you want to consider us a couple. 5 days ago, we spent time together. I had such a great time. Was it a date? I know I probably sound crazy and a bit hard headed, but I've never been so attracted to someone like I am to you. You're so great  that sometimes I feel like I'm not even good enough to be with you. You make me think about everything. My actions: thinking about my actions before proceeding with them. Thinking about what to say before I say it, and thinking about how I should react to every time you say something to me."

I stopped for a second. What was I saying? I don't even remember anymore. I'm lost. "I... I really like you Hyunseung and I just don't know what to think." 

"Yoora, remember when I kissed you while being on the ferris wheel 2 weeks ago?" I nodded and looked at his face. "Do you remember how you felt?" I nodded again. 

"Well obviously you don't if you're asking about us." Just like that, he kissed me. I was surprised that I didn't respond quickly. Hyunseung carassed my cheek, and moved his hand to the back of my neck. I turned my self towards him, kissing him back. His kiss was gentle and passioante. I felt as if we were on the ferris wheel right at this moment. Back in the car, sitting next to each other so close, we could feel each others body heat. 

I remembered how much he wanted me and much as I wanted him back in that cart. These soft lips I missed so much. Hyunseung began to move forward, pushing me back on the couch. His hand slid from my neck to my shoulder, and he pushed me down on the couch, his lips never leaving mine. 

I felt his thumb making small circles below my collar bone. My hands made their way to the back of his neck and then into his wet hair. The air in my lungs was slipping away, so I opened my mouth to try and catch a breath. Hyunseung stuck his tongue into my mouth and flicked my tongue against his. Everything became hot. I slightly tightened my grip on his hair and he let a small, low moan out. 

For a while we fought for dominance. I finally got the courage to push him slightly so I could catch my breath. His forehead rested on mine, and we both breathed heavily. "If we continue, Yoora, I'm not su-" 

"I know...." I said and let my hands slide down from his hair, and down to his chest. "Me too, Hyunseung...." At that current moment, I heard a cell phone go off, and it wasn't mine.

Hyunseung groaned and I said "Answer it, I.. need to cool off anyways.." He got off of me and i got up and walked out to his balcony. The air felt cool on my hot skin. I touched below my collar bone, where he made circle. I could still feel them there. 

"Gikwang, I.....Yes I know.... No I don't-..... I know, I know already. I will. Ok." I overheard Hyunseung speak to Gikwang on the phone. What was wrong? He sounded stressed out.

I walked back inside and said "What's going on?" Hyunseung dropped his phone on the couch and said "My parents are coming back in town. Apparently they heard I was dating you, and they now want to meet you. Gikwang just called to inform me all of this." 

Gikwang? "Why Gikwang? Wouldn't your parents be the one to call you and tell you this?" I asked.

"Yeah, I wish. I guess they were planning a 'surprise' visit. But one of our family friends are coming into town too. She wanted to have a get together with my family so she informed Gikwang."

"But then again, why would she inform Gikwang? Are they really close?" 

Hyunseung scoffed and sat on the couch, and I sat with him "Close? Gikwang hates her. She's obsessed with him, and loves everything about him. So whenever she comes in town she always goes to the club to see Gikwang." 

I laughed. Kind of made me thing of Sora. "I'm sure she can't be that bad. And hey, it's maybe only for what? No more than a week?" he nodded "Plus, I'll be glad to meet your parents." 

"But you won't be glad to meet HER." Hyunseung said and let out a deep sigh. 

I walked up to Hyunseung and kissed him on the lips gently "Don't worry. This week will go by fast. Every thing will be alright, I promise." I smiled up at him.

He placed his hands on my hips and said "Well, want to continue where we left off?" he playfully smirked and pushed me down on the couch.

 

Gikwang

I reached up to my temples and rubbed them. "So, you told him I was in town and his parents too?" asked Soyoung. 

"Yeah, he deserved to know anyways so he can prepare. Especially with...her..." I began to mumble the last part. "Her? Who?"

. "No one. It's none of your business." I said and walked over to the bar counter with Soyoung following me. 

He heels clicked against the floor loudly "It does so involve me if it involves Hyunseung. I've known you two since elementary school. Don't think you can get rid of me so easily." 

"Soyoung, stop being so persistent. I've been TRYING to get rid of you for the past, what? 17 years? I can't even keep count." I took out a glass cup and filled it up with some Vodka.

Soyoung grabbed the cup and drank it in one whole shot "What the , Soyoung?!" I yelled at her. She slammed the cup down and said "I'm sick fo you drinking... You know I hate it when you drink. We ALL do. So stop it, it's sickening to watch you hurt yourself even more..." Her voice was cracking. Soyoung wiped with her hand and stormed out of the place. 

I didn't know whether or not to go after her, but she could handle herself. She doesn't need Hyunseung or I to protect her. Which is what she always wants. She wants Hyunseung and I to give her attention, always has and always will. She just want to be loved, but I can't love her. I won't.

With me put into an even worse mood, I took the glass and filled it back up again. I gulped down the vodka and poured myself another cup after another. 

 

Soyoung

I love him, I really do love him. Why can't he accept my feelings? Why can't he just accept me for who I am? I've been there for him since we were kids. I've seen him grow up, change, go through phases, and I've seen him crushed and hurt. I have been there for him all along, all these years. I thought he would get better since last time I saw him.

But instead, he still drinks out his sorrow and can't control his temper. It pisses me off to see how low he has become. To see that he's hurt and I can't heal him. Why can't I heal him? Why can't I be the one? Why does he make everything so difficult.

"Soyoung, we're too close. I only see you as a sister." "Soyoung, I don't feel that way about you. You know that." "I've known you since we were kids, Soyoung. We're JUST friends." "Please, Soyoung, enough. I'm done with this game. I'm done with you. We're not getting together." "Just STOP. You know I can't feel that way about you. So just STOP waiting for me!  MOVE ON." 

"I've been TRYING to get rid of you for the past, what? 17 years? I can't even keep count." 

He's hurt me so many times, and has pushed me away. But I still love him. No matter how many times, I still love him. I'll love him today, tomorrow, and forever. 

I mean, doesn't eveeyone want some one to love them in return? To be loved, feel loved, and be consumed in love. I can be myself around Gikwang and he can be himself around me as well. We have nothing to hide. I want him to love me, more than I love him. To consume me in his love and care about me. Have his warm arounds caress my face, and those plump lips kiss mine. 

I want him, I want him all. I'll want him today, tomorrow and forever. I will get him, even if it means hurting him or others around me.