It was morning. I woke up with a shudder. My head hurts like crazy. I cried myself to sleep last night after that incident with Yonghwa. It was still early. I checked my bedside clock. 5:45 pm. I twist and turn and I tried to get some more sleep. But there was no point in that because my body did not want any. So, I composed myself and got out of bed. I moved towards the door silently, leaned in to listen if Yonghwa was up. It was silent. Yonghwa was still in bed. I took that opportunity and slipped out of my room and went directly to the bathroom. I turned the faucet on and let the water run , I waited for a moment, then I splashed some water on my face. When I look at myself in the mirror. I saw my eyes were still swollen. I rubbed them but it only made them worse. I head towards the kitchen and busied myself with breakfast fully awake. As I was frying bacon and eggs I heard a door open. Yonghwa stepped out of his room groggily. His hair was disheveled, his face fresh of sleep but it looked like he needed more. He pulled a chair from the table and sat there. No simple, "hello" or "good morning".  He was just sitting there like it was only him in the room. We existed but we did not live in harmony. Our house, not even worthy of calling a home, without the love and affection was dead and empty just like those who live in it, just like Yonghwa and I. I continued with breakfast. The silence dragged on for minutes but it felt like hours maybe even forever. I finished and set the table. He was still just sitting there. There is seriously something wrong. He did not look at me. But that is not what bothered me the most. What bothered me was he was just sitting there, dazed, like his mind was somewhere else and it looked like he had stopped breathing. I went back to the kitchen to fetch our breakfast. After that I put it in front of Yonghwa hoping that the aroma of food would pull him back from his daze. Thankfully it did.He scanned the room and when he saw me, he narrowed his eyes. I was standing beside him, a few meters apart, but it felt like miles. He examined the food and took a bite. He nodded in approval. 

 

"Yonghwa shi. Would you like me to get you some coffee?" I offered. Yonghwa looked at me, we were eye to eye. My heart started to pound. 

 

"I can get it myself." He said in a cold way and brushed past me like what he did last night. I was still standing there when he came back, with a cup of black coffee in his hand. There was no sugar in it. No sweetness that made it worthwhile. Yonghwa could use a little bit of sugar in his life. 

 

"Sit down and eat. Your starting to be an eyesore, Seohyun." He sat and sipped his coffee. I sat across him. I did not like coffee so I settled for tea. My eyes were down cast so I couldn't see him. I had no appetite so I pushed my food around. This went on for a while.

 

" What time is your class?" Yonghwa asked.I looked up. He did not stop eating nor did he take his eyes off his food but he had asked. He rarely asked about my studies.

 

"10 in the morning." I answered. I heard a 'hmmmm' come out of Yonghwa's mouth. He was nodding. But I am not entirely sure why. Yonghwa finished with his breakfast while my food remained untouched. 

 

"Don't forget to lock the door when you leave." He reminded me and pushed back his plate. He dabbed his mouth with a napkin , stood up and went inside his room. I took a bite from the eggs. But it didn't appeal to me the way it had appeal to him. Yonghwa stepped out of his room with a towel slung across his shoulder and headed for the bathroom. Halfway, I stopped him.

 

"Uhmmm...Yonghwa shi." I whispered. He heard because he turned around to face me, with an eyebrow raised and his eyes expectant. 

 

"Uhmmm....your key. Don't forget your key." I mumbled and he did something unexpected. He laughed. I have never seen him laugh when it was only the two of us. It made me fall in love with him more. 

 

"Yeah.Yeah." He said playfully and waved his hand in the air. I smiled but he already turned so he didn't see me. He disappeared inside the bathroom and shut the door tight.

 

____________________________________________________________

 

Yonghwa left without saying goodbye. 

 

I got in the shower and was grateful that the warm water washed away my problems. After 30 minutes, I got out, wrapped my body in a towel and blow dried my hair. I stepped out of the bathroom and went to my room. It took me 15 minutes to decide what I want to wear.I changed my clothes 2 times so that makes it 25 minutes.Then I combed my hair and let it hang loose on my shoulders.After that, I applied a little make up on my face. Then, I organized my things. My books, 3 of them, my schedule for the day, my binder, a pad of paper, sticky notes, my water bottle, a banana and an apple. I put my phone inside my pocket and switched it to silent mode.I head to the door. I gripped the door knob. I scanned the flat and sighed. Then my eyes flew to where Yonghwa was sitting when we had breakfast and I pretended he was there seeing me out. 

 

"Bye," I said. This is not real. My heart gave a little squeeze. This is me, and my imagination. I wish it was real I wish it would come true before I ran out of hope.

 

"Take care." Yonghwa said affectionately, smiled and waved at me. Then he disappeared. I turned the doorknob and stepped outside. Yes, me and my imagination.

 

Then I was gone. 

 

___________________________________________________________

 

I am in the university. People watched as our limousine slid into it's reserved parking space. My driver opened the door for me and I stepped out into the sun. I walk around the campus. A lot of people are watching me. Some of them, my friends, when I pass by them, they say hello and I nod at them back. I entered the building. It was fully air conditioned but the students got used to the cold they don't bother wearing a coat, a jacket or maybe a sweater. Including me, I am used to the cold, especially at home with Yonghwa. I had to climb up 3 flights of stairs to get to my room. There's an elevator. But I prefer the stairs. I arrive and I am immediately greeted by two of my closest friends. Yoona and Yuri, who both looked identical. The two of them always ask me questions about Yonghwa. 

 

"Did Yonghwa ride with you today, Hyun?" Yoona a pretty girl with medium length brownish hair, porcelain skin and a talent in acting said and nudged me in the ribs. Obviously teasing. Standing beside her was Yuri.

 

"No," I shook my head and said solemnly. Yuri tapped her foot on the ground irritated a thing she does when she was about to be mad at something. I tell them piesces of my problems. But they don't get the entire picture. 

 

"Is he that busy?" Yuri asked. Crossing her arms over her chest.Yuri was exactly the same height as Yoona. Unlike Yoona, Yuri was a bit tanned, which earned her the nickname "Black Pearl Yuri". She loved to dance and sing. She dreams of being an artist, someday she will be. 

 

"Yes he is. But to make you guys feel better. Yonghwa and I talk a lot. Errr...in bed." I said and feeling embarrassed about it turned away. Yoona squealed. Fan girl and A er for love and romance Im Yoon Ah. Yuri rolled her eyes but could not help but grin.

 

"You....are you pregnant?" Yuri asked and jabbed a finger at my chest I brushed her fingers away. Beside her, Yoona gasped fighting the urge to scream. Pregnant. Yonghwa and I don't even sleep in the same bed. 

 

"No, I'm not having a baby." I blushed. A lot of thoughts were swimming in my head. The idea of it ran a shiver down my spine. " Not yet." I added and my own words surprised me as much as it surprised my friends. 

 

"So. You're planning to become a mother at 18?" Yoona whispered excitedly. Before Yonghwa, I never really had eyes for anyone else since I feel in love with him when I was 6 years old. So, Yoona and Yuri are happy that I have a guy in my life. But they were shocked when I got married. Yonghwa had told them we were dating for a while. In secret. A secret relationship made Yoona swoon. 

 

"I'm not really sure, if Yonghwa wants a baby." I said and it intrigued Yuri. Everybody wants to have a baby. I mean, who can resist babies. I know Yonghwa can. Yuri pondered on it.

 

"Of course he wants to have a baby with you. Why wouldn't he?" Yoona said and patted my back. Why wouldn't he? How about the fact that he hates me. 

 

"Then. Of course, to make a baby you both need to-" I clamped Yuri's mouth with my hand. It embarrassed me to have somebody else say it. But Yonghwa and I, and that errrr....process. Don't exactly add up. He hasn't made a move to kiss me ever since the wedding, where he did kiss me for the first and last time, in front of everyone.

 

"I know how it works Yuri shi." I said. Yuri narrowed her eyes at me and pinched my cheeks. 

 

"Drop the honorifics." Yuri demanded and let go of my cheeks which were now swollen. I rubbed them and I turned to Yoona who smiled for no reason.

 

"So you've tried it!!!" Yoona blurted out. I blushed. The blood in my veins rushed to my head. The idea of it embarrassed me. 

 

"No. Of course not!" I retaliated full force back. Then I buried my face in my hands, ashamed. There was nothing to be ashamed about. Yonghwa and I don't have that sort of relationship. It's a fake marriage. The word fake did not escape my throat.

 

"Enough. You...."Yuri wiggled a finger at me. " Tsk. Lucky you have a guy, Hyun." Yuri said jealousy was like acid in her voice.

 

"What do you mean guy? Hyun's married!" Yoona giggled hysterically. I had more of those as the day passed by like a blur.

 

Then school was over. It was time to go back to the flat. To go back to Yonghwa. I wanted to see him. After a long tiring day all I want to do is to be held in his arms. But...that is...impossible.

 

Yonghwa has a heart of stone.

 

____________________________________________________________

 

On the way back to the flat. I was seated my myself comfortably at the backseat of our limousine after dropping off Yoona and Yuri to their houses. My phone was still in my pocket I hadn't checked it all day. I take it out. No one texted me. Not even Yonghwa. I switched my phone back to normal mode and put it back inside my pocket. After a few minutes it vibrated. I take it out again and check to see who it was and to my surprise it was Yonghwa. I pressed 'View Message'.

 

From: Yonghwa 

To: Seohyun

Time:5:35 pm

 

I'll arrive early. I'll buy something for you on my way out if I don't forget. How does Goguma sound? Anyway, don't bother with dinner. I'll order some food.

 

 

I pressed 'Reply' and keyed in a couple of words. I didn't stop until I was satisfied. Just the fact that Yonghwa texted me, which he never does, was enough to make me extremely happy. 

 

From:Seohyun

To: Yonghwa

Time: 5:38 pm

 

Okay. Goguma sounds alright.But you don't really have to bother. I'll just set the table in advance. Have a safe trip.

 

 

I pressed 'Send'. Have a safe trip? What was I thinking? The reply came quickly. 

 

From: Yonghwa

To: Seohyun

Time: 5:40 pm

 

It's no big deal. I know you love goguma. So I'll buy you goguma.(smiley face) Have a safe trip as well.

 

 

How does he know I love goguma? He actually sent me a message with a smiley face. He is happy. I am happy as well. What struck me the most was the "Have a safe trip as well." I took it in calmly. But inside my heart was pounding like crazy. 

 

Then we arrived and I couldn't wait to see Yonghwa.