I stepped in the flat and closed the door. I turned the lights on, after that I went directly to my room, put down my bag, get the load off my shoulders. I took a change of clothes out of my closet and put them on. Then, I tied my hair into a ponytail and  went to the kitchen to set the table. After I had done that, I made some tea and waited in the living room reading a book. A few minutes later I heard a knock on the door. I gripped the knob and opened it slowly without looking. It was Yonghwa. Dressed in the same suit,briefcase under his arm and a plastic bag that smelled like, the aroma made my mouth water, goguma. 

 

"Hey." Yonghwa greeted, his tone casual, his smile easy and carefree. For a moment I stood there awestruck. My heart pounding in my ears.Yonghwa gave me a light push, waking me up. I moved out of the way and he stepped inside.

 

"I'm sorry.I-I..." I did not continue. I just took his coat and hung it. Yonghwa grinned and narrowed his eyes on me.Then he handed me the goguma. It smelled heavenly. 

 

"We're you thinking of me?" Yonghwa leaned towards me. Our arms brushing slightly. I blushed. My face red as a tomato. How did he know? I nervously back away but he kept coming at me. My heart was just launched into the stratosphere.When he sensed I was embarrassed he stepped back.

 

"Sorry. I was just messing with you. I know what you're thinking of." Yonghwa said and laughed. It was depressingly brotherly. "Go and eat the goguma." He added, then chuckled and patted my head. I was lost at words. The brief contact of his hands to my hair made my heart race. I went to the kitchen and got a small bowl for the goguma. Yonghwa disappeared into his room to change into more comfortable clothes. I heard his door close. I sat cross legged on the carpeted floor of the living room, munching on the goguma. I peeled some for Yonghwa and set it aside before I am tempted to eat it. I heard his door open again and as I turned around to face him. I was surprised to see him topless with his shirt slung across his shoulder. I blushed and looked away embarrassed. He sat next to me, putting on his shirt, awfully close. He grabbed my hand, startled me by taking a bite out of the goguma I was holding, my fingers brushed his lips lightly it made by knees weak.

 

"That's not bad." Yonghwa stood up and sat across me. I couldn't breathe. The feel of Yonghwa's lips on my fingertips were soft and gentle. I wonder how it would feel pressed to my lips. What! No, I refuse to think of such thoughts.  Get a grip, Seohyun. I don't really remember the first time he kissed. The wedding kiss was sudden and it didn't last long. It was like a peck on the check. I preferred slow lingering kisses. Stop it, Seohyun. You are not fantasizing about kissing Yonghwa on the lips. 

 

"Seohyun." Yonghwa said. When I didn't respond, he repeated my name over and over again. "Hey, Seohyun nah!" Yonghwa acted on impulse. He cupped my face with his hand,my eyes widen,but my mind was screaming 'don't let go', then we felt a spark, it stunned us both. He let go. 

 

"Uhmmm...." Yonghwa rubbed the nape of his neck searching for the right words. When he thought he had found it. He looked me straight in the eye."What I mean is, you were dazed, I had to do something." I wanted to kiss you but held back, Yonghwa almost said. I stared at him, dumbfounded.

 

"I-it's okay." I said and gave him a shy smile. Now Yonghwa was grinning at me,amused above all things,and he has never been more handsome.How many times will you make me fall in love with you until your satisfied? My thoughts about Yonghwa made me nervous. Now he was eating the goguma that I peeled for him. After every bite he nodded in approval. "Yonghwa shi." I said. He narrowed his eyes on me. He has the same look as Yuri. I think I know what he was going to say.

 

"Drop the honorifics." Yonghwa said. I knew it. How can I? Not to Yonghwa. "Come on. Seohyun." Yonghwa said and looked at me expectantly. 

 

"Yong..." I don't think I can . I tried again. "Yong..." Yonghwa! Yonghwa! why can I not say it out loud. 

 

"Hey, I like the sound of that, 'Yong...' " He imitated the way I said it and he looked adorable. "From now on...you have to call me by that nickname no matter where we are, at home-" He called the flat home. My heart skipped a beat. " at the office, anywhere. Got it?" he added. I nodded and he smiled at me finishing his goguma.

 

"Yong...." Yonghwa flashed an amused smile towards me. " Why do you know I love goguma?" I asked. He was silent for a moment. I am worried I set him off. Then he smiles a boyish smile. 

 

"You really want to know?" He asked leaning into the table daring me to say yes. I acceped the challenge and said what he wanted to hear.

 

"Yes."

 

"Well....when we were kids, I used to watch you, no, more like stare at you, eating alot of these." Yonghwa gestured to the goguma. He was watching? But I was always watching him? I never once saw him look at me when we were young, he only,  did if he was told to, but those were rare times.

 

"We're you told, to watch me?" I asked. Again with the amused smile. Yonghwa pressed her fingers to his eyes. 

 

"No. I watched you, on my own free will while you devoured the helpless gogumas. Felt like a stalker though. " Yonghwa joked and chuckled at his own humor. I merely smiled but I also wanted to laugh but felt like I was in no position to.

 

"I watched you too, uhmmm...sometimes." I said. Lying to Yonghwa wasn't as easy as frying eggs. He caught on immediately. Okay. So I watched him a lot. Still not enough, okay, always, when he was within my field of vision.

 

"We were young. Can't blame either of us there." Who does this voice belong to? This easy going, carefree voice that was coming out of Yonghwa's mouth. Yonghwa is sitting across me, smiling, my heart is swelling but I do not hope this will last long, he is having a conversation with me and just admitted he was cheacking me out , like a stalker when we were young. 

 

"Yonghwa shi." I completely forgot about the nickname thing. "I mean, Yong...., did you order the food already?" I asked. He nibbled a goguma, then shoved the whole thing down his mouth, he managed to chew a little before swallowing.

 

"Yeah. Food's is on its way." Yonghwa his lips made a smacking sound which I found very attarctive. No, no. Keep it together, Seohyun. You're already too involved with this man. Didn't he hurt you? I don't care. I love him.  There was a knock on the door. Yonghwa stood up, beating me to it.

 

"We should really install a doorbell or something. Knocking doesn't really work well these days." Yonghwa said and yanked the door wide open. A delivery man was standing there with their dinner dangling on his arms in bright yellow plastic. 

 

"We were just talking about you, pal." Yonghwa said cheerily as he greeted the delivery man with a smile.

 

"Delivery for Mr. and Mrs Jung." The delivery man said.

 

"That's us." He and Yonghwa exchanged the food and money. "Keep the change." Yonghwa said and watched the delivery man leave before stepping inside. He joined me in the kitchen and we prepared the food together. This is the first time I have ever felt something click between us besides the merger that was the obvious reason, the only reason, for our marriage. There was kimchi, gimbap, spicy rice cakes, a favorite of mine, and Bibim guksu, which I haven't tried before. Yonghwa was the first to take a bite out of it.

 

"It's delicous. Try it." He indulged me. I scooped up a little amount onto my spoom , hesitantly put it in my mouth, chewed and swallowed. It was cold, the dish had flavoring which I liked, and I discovered that the orange stuff that was piled in the center was some kind of noodle. 

 

"Told you so." Yonghwa grinned. I was eating a considerable amount of everything. The kimchi, was marvelous. The gimbap made my mouth water. The spicy rice cakes swept me off my feet. All was perfect. While I ate silently, cautiously because I feel his eyes roaming my face, Yonghwa watched me.

 

"This is nice." He said. I have been waiting a long time for him say those words "It's so nice to be friends." He said it so calmly. Friends. My hopes are shattered again. My smile faded, the food lost its appeal to me. Back to square one. 

 

"Hey. What do your friends call you?" Yonghwa asked. I am not fond of nicknames, I almost said but held back. My mind was engulfed in a fog. I no longer had anything to say to him. 

 

"They call me Hyun." Nevertheless, I answered.

 

"Well then, Hyun...." He used the same tone I used for 'Yong...' He offered me his hand and expected me to shake it. " Lets be friends. Lets give eachother freedom., alright." Freedom? Was that what he wanted? Am I not pretty enough?Or smart enough? Am I not funny enough? Why, just friends? When I didn't shake it, he just grabbed my hand and shook by himself.

 

"Hyun...."

 

I hesitated. But gave in.

 

"Yong..."

 

And with that, he and I are friends. 

_____________________________________________________________

 

Th next day, I was at the university, brooding. People pass by our classroom and take a moment to study me. I would hear murmurs. Hear them giggle. Or say that I was pretty or that I had nice skin. Then sometimes I would hear about Yonghwa. How handsome he was, how lucky I was to have him as a lover. No. They do not know. I would understand. I had to. I am fortunate to have Yonghwa as a friend. At least he doesn't hate me that much now.  And that distracts me the most. The fact that we are just friends. He's giving our marriage a shot by becoming friends. People see me as  the rich girl who doesn't have enough self esteem to stand out in crowd, is smart enough to top my class, lucky to live in a mansion and fortunate to be loved by Yonghwa.  What people don't see is that, I am an ordinary 18 year old girl, who, under my calm and relax 'I've got this under control'  persona am actually very sensitive and easily hurt. I am married, too young, too immature, to a man 2 years older than me, who just wants us to be friends, a man who is cold and cool but can actually be sweet and nice. I rubbed my temples, shut my eyes, closed my ears. Control. Fight for control, Seohyun. As is on cue, Yoona and Yuri arrive.

They we're cheerful, well, Yoona was, Yuri was smiling a little.

 

"Good morning." I greeted them casually. They put their bags on top of their desks. Greeted everybody else and sat next to the vacant seats next to me.

 

"Good morning....." Yoona said in a sing song voice. 

 

"Hyun....how's your night with Yonghwa?" Yuri asked. They always asked. I would always answer. I would also always hold back.

 

"We had dinner together. For the first time in weeks." For the first time...ever. I was hesitant to tell them. My husband was now my official best friend. I heard a delighted yelp from Yoona.

 

"How'd it go? Was it romantic?" Yoona clasped my hands, very eager to know. Yuri merely rolled her eyes. Typical fan girl Yoona is at it again.

 

"It was romantic." If that's what you want. Let's bend the truth. "The food tasted good." That, was me, telling the truth. " Yonghwa and I had a good talk too." Part of that is true. 

 

" Thats it?" Yuri asked her tone strained. Okay, married life is not as exciting as they think it is , it's not like the things they read in the romance novels, it's way more complicated than that. 

 

"Hi guys!" It was our classmate Lee Sun Kyu, niece of Lee Soo Man, owner of SM Entertainment. She likes to be called Sunny. Her other nickname is Aegyo Queen.

 

"Hey, Sunny." Yoona beamed a smile at her.

 

"Why do you guys looks so problematic?" Sunny asked as she scanned our faces. 

 

"Seohyun + Married Life= Yonghwa not having time for her." Yuri said tapping her foot on the ground, irritated, very irriatated, Yuri was at the moment.

 

"He works all the time right? He's probably saving money for your kids, Hyun." Sunny hit the bingo on her first sentence. Yonghwa was indeed a workchaholic. As for the second sentence, kids aren't Yonghwa's priority at the moment and I don't imagine myself pregnant at 18.

 

"Don't tell me your pregnant, now!" Sunny blurted out, the tone was very much like Yoona's.

 

"We razzed her about it yesterday. She said she wasn't." Yuri said. Why do they keep assuming I am pregnant? When I start to think about it,I love  kids, I have my way around them. But, kids? With Yonghwa? It's the process I am worried about. What! Stop think about those things Seohyun. He hasn't even touch me. I said, No!!! Besides....Yonghwa and I are just friends. Just friends.

 

"Why don't you call him now. Ask him how he's doing?" Yoona draped an arm around my shoulder. Am I even allowed to call him, at this hour of the day?

 

"Come on. Hyun." Sunny's look was almost pleading. They just want to hear what married people talk about. In my case, with Yonghwa, it was like a young girl having small talk with her sunbaenim. 

 

"Listen to us. Call him now." Yuri shot me a deadly look. I slowly grab my phone from my pocket. They hovered around me, as I sat there, punching in Yonghwa's number. I put my phone beside my ear, listened to the ring, waited for Yonghwa to pick up his phone. Yoona, Yuri and Sunny leaned in.

 

"Hello." Yonghwa's voice slammed my heart into my throat. "Hyun...." he called out. 

 

"Y-yes. This is m-me." I said stuttering. I composed myself. This is just a phone call. A phone call. I don't have to be nervous about it.Get a grip, Seohyun!

 

"Is something wrong?" Yonghwa's voice was overly concerned. This is an act. He knows there are people listening.  

 

"No, there's nothing wrong." I replied, relief in my voice, I guess I should play a long. Yoona and Sunny were mumbling about Yonghwa and I being sweet and before Yuri could hush them they ended up giggling.

 

"Yoon Ah." Yonghwa said with a sigh. "I know you're there." he added. Yoona was holding in her laughter. 

 

"I'm sorry. They asked me nicely.I just had to do it." I said. Yonghwa chuckled over the phone. I guess he knows Yuri is here too. Wherever Yoona was Yuri would always tag along.

 

"I suppose Kwon Yuri is there as well."

 

"Yeah. I'm right here!" Yuri was challenging him. 

 

"Great ....." Sarcasm" What have you been doing to my wife?" Yonghwa asked. Yuri chuckled and snatched the phone away from me. 

 

"None of your business." Yuri said firmly. 

 

"Who's the other person?" Yonghwa asked. What other person? My eyes turn to Sunny. Does he mean her? " Yoon Ah was giggling with another person. Who was it?" 

 

"My name is Sunny!" Sunny said. Too bad Yonghwa was over the phone or he oculd have been hit my Sunny's aegyo. 

 

"Nice to meet you." Yonghwa said politely.  "Seohyun?" he called out. Yuri handed me back my phone.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I have to go. See you later." 

 

"Bye." Then he hung up.

 

The teacher arrived and students scrambled to their seats. I turned to Yuri she had a look that said 'Tsk. Yonghwa is so uptight.' That is not entirely true. I turned to Yoona next, she had a look that said 'Romantic!!!" What is so romantic about a phone call? Then lastly Sunny, she was smiling at me so I smiled at her back and that was it. The day dragged on. There is not much to tell.